499. Secrets to Balancing Motherhood and Your Creative Dreams

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Lesley Logan speaks with author and publisher Kristen McGuiness about balancing motherhood, entrepreneurship, and creative pursuits. Kristen shares her journey in publishing, how she makes time for writing, and the inspiration behind her novel Live Through This. She also discusses activism, navigating personal challenges, and the importance of following your inner voice.


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In this episode you will learn about:

  • How Kristen transitioned from editor to author while working in the publishing industry.
  • The realities of balancing motherhood and a creative career.
  • Why creating boundaries around personal time is essential for productivity.
  • The inspiration behind Live Through This and its connection to real-world issues.
  • Different forms of activism and how storytelling can drive change.
  • The importance of trusting your intuition and taking action despite uncertainty.


Episode References/Links:


Guest Bio:

Kristen McGuiness is the bestselling author of 51/50: The Magical Adventures of a Single Life, which was optioned by Original Films/CBS Cable with Alison Brie attached to star, and her new novel, Live Through This, which was released from Rise Books on October 10, 2023. She has over twenty years’ experience in book publishing, as an author, editor, and book publisher, with such houses as St. Martin’s Press, Simon & Schuster, and Harper Collins. 

Kristen is the publisher of Rise Books, launching in 2023, which publishes fiction, non-fiction, and poetry of radical inspiration, and also runs the book coaching company, Rise Writers, which provides book coaching and management for emerging and established authors. Kristen has appeared on the “TODAY Show,” in USA Today, and in Marie Claire, and has written for numerous publications, including Rolling Stone, Marie Claire, Shondaland, Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, Psychology Today, Salon, and The Fix. She lives in Ojai, CA with her husband, two children, and a dog named Peter.

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Episode Transcript:

Kristen McGuiness 0:00  

I'm a mom who prioritizes being a mom, but I also don't want to lose myself in that activity, and I don't think that is healthy for my children either.


Lesley Logan 0:10  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.


Be It babe, oh my gosh. Okay, I felt like I just met a dear friend who I've never known. But it's kind of shocking how we didn't know each other before, because I felt like our paths would have crossed. She's an author, she's a publisher, she's a mom, she's an honest, vulnerable human being who I think is going to inspire the heck out of you to lean into who you are and how you do things. And I just really, truly love this conversation. We are going to talk a lot about how Kristen McGuiness got into books, what her world is in books, how she does it and writes especially with kiddos. You're gonna hear some great ideas I hope you use. I love her quotes at the end. I will just say that we do get into talking a little bit about mass shootings and school shootings because of her fiction book. So just protect your heart if that is something raw for you in this moment. But I hope you listen, because I actually can't wait to read her book, and so I'm gonna read it before I do the recap, because it just sounds really cool, and I'm really inspired in this moment. And so I'm saying this after I interviewed her, so I know that you'll be inspired as soon as you're done listening to this. So here is Kristen McGuiness. 


All right, Be It babe. This is going to be fabulous. I already know it. I just met Kristen McGuiness a minute ago, but I can tell by who she is and what she's been up to that you are going to love this person, because, like you, they wear many hats. So Kristen, can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at?


Kristen McGuiness 2:11  

Absolutely and thank you for having me on I'm so glad we were finally able to do this. And it always ends up being perfect timing when you get to do these things and the day and moment you get to do them, when it, you know, made sense at the other time. But, yeah, I'm Kristen McGuiness and I'm a book lady. I mean, I think that's the or a book bitch, depending on the moment. But I've been doing books my whole life, you know, since I was a kid, I always say they're my first addiction. I ended up gathering more than that, less healthy addictions, but I started with books. And just, you know, the places and imagination that we get to escape to when we're reading. And it's no wonder that that became my profession. I continued to love books, you know, try to write books. I ended up starting my career in book publishing at St. Martin's Press and Simon & Schuster and then later Harper Collins. I worked as a book scout in Hollywood for a brief bit, like reading books to develop into movies for Warner Brothers. And then I became a book publisher and a book coach and a bestselling author myself. So it's just, it's all books all the time. That's what I do, and a big and amazing part of that has been helping other people write their books. 


Lesley Logan 3:21  

Okay. That is so fun. That's so cool. I imagine you as like a girl, little girl, like reading all the time, and then you get to just read all the time. Like, how fun is that? Okay. I think where I'd want to start is, it sounds like you were in books, but then you wrote a book. So what was it like to go from reading other people's work and, like, not picking it apart but going, oh, this would be great for this, or this is great for this, and then to writing your own? Was it an easy transition? Were you nervous? Were you excited? Like, what was going on?


Kristen McGuiness 3:49  

You know, there's some editors that are happy to be editors, and they know that's like, what they love to do. I was always an editor who wanted to be a writer, and so that's just a different dynamic. And I still love editing. I mean, I can simultaneously be editing a book and writing a book at the same time and enjoy both processes. And I mean, honestly, sometimes the editing is more fun because, you know, the stakes aren't as high, right? Like, and it's not on me. I mean, it's on me to help it be good, but I'm not the source of the goodness. Whereas when you were the author, it's really hard to be like, I'm a shitty editor. It's really easy to be like, I'm a shitty writer. So I really enjoy getting to do both. But I was definitely always someone who wanted to do both. I mean, I ended up leaving book publishing, and that's how I wrote my first book. I went into the world of nonprofits, and that became like a secondary career to books during a period of my life just because I moved out to California and there was no, I mean, now there's more opportunities in that field, but at that time, there was, like, no book publishing in Southern California, and I preferred I wanted the weather. So I chose weather over books.


Lesley Logan 4:55  

Wow, you really wanted the weather.


Kristen McGuiness 4:59  

I do. I really like the sun. 


Lesley Logan 5:00  

Oh my God. Well, and you have some sun going on you. And also, I understand that, as someone who's California born and raised, I can visit a city, and I'm like, I could do two weeks in this weather, but I gotta go back.


Kristen McGuiness 5:12  

Yeah, no, I very romantically lived in Paris for one year, and my friends all joke about, like, how much Kristen hates Paris. And I'm like, I don't hate Paris. It was just that it was gray every day, and I ended up with seasonal affective disorder. Like it wasn't, I mean, it was like nothing I could control. I was just horrifically depressed and wanted to throw myself into the sun every day. But I'm like, it really wasn't Paris's fault. I just need sunshine. 


Lesley Logan 5:36  

It's just like the location of Paris is just not ideal.


Kristen McGuiness 5:41  

If I could pick it up and move it somewhere else, that'd be fantastic. So I, you know, I ended up moving out to California and ended up in nonprofits, and that's when I did write my first book. And I think I did have to remove myself from the book publishing industry in order to write a book. And I don't think that's true anymore. I'm doing both very simultaneously right now, but in that period of my life, I did so that I could just really have that fuel tank of creative energy just for me. 


Lesley Logan 6:10  

Yeah, yeah. I understand that. I I think, like even just to not have distractions or especially with something new, even though books weren't new to you, but writing your own is a new thing. You kind of have to, like, kind of immerse yourself so you can really get into it. You know, I know your mom, and I think having all of these hats and then having kids, I know, like, for our listeners, there's always people going, how do they balance it? And I don't have children. So when I say, I don't think balance is real. People nod, but don't really listen to me, because like, but I don't I think that there's a blend. And I think that, you know, my yoga teacher says balance is the art of not falling, and that just means that you're kind of tilting over here, and then you're tilting over here and you're trying not to fall either way. And that resonates with me. But can we talk a little about what it's like to be curating this amazing career that you have, you know, being in books, of writing books and being a publisher and doing that while, you know, parenting and bringing kids into this world. What was it like? 


Kristen McGuiness 7:06  

Well, that's why I'm in a hotel room right now. So, you were like, so how do you, I'm like, I literally go to a hotel room two nights a month. That's what I do. And I joke, again, I'm a former addict, so it's like a drug vendor. I'm like a Hunter Biden, but with books. So I just, like, pull myself up in a hotel room for like, 48 hours, and I just write like a wild Banshee with caffeine and Red Bull. I mean, I find, though, whatever that looks like for people, I do think it's about creating the pockets of freedom and the pockets of concentration and the pockets of creativity, because, I mean, I'm also just somebody, like, I always eat one thing at a time. I'm not good at, like, fully integrating. So I can't be in the middle of parenting and then be like, give me five kids. I'm gonna go edit a book. My brain doesn't work that way. And I do think, speaking of the creative fuel tank, I think, at least for me, my creative fuel tank is the same place where I draw my maternal energy from, not surprisingly, because they're both creative forces. And so when I'm in my mom mode and I'm really with my kids, I am running off that creative fuel in the same way I would be if I was writing or editing. So I think it is really hard to be a creative and a mom, because if I've been momming all day long, like I, at the end of the day, I've got nothing left. I mean, I could, like, do an Excel spreadsheet. I can put the dishes in the dishwasher, but I'm not going to come up with a masterpiece. And so I've really learned how to pull this time out. Hence, I mean, I wrote a screenplay in the last 12 hours, that's what I have done here today. So I came here yesterday at 3pm and I was like, we're writing a screenplay before I got that podcast tomorrow, and I literally finished it right before we began. But that's how I've learned to like, if I'm if I care about my creative career, which is not even a career that pays my bills. I mean, that's still, you know? I mean, it's still, like a speculative career, if I care about that, whatever that thing is that you love to do, like, I've got to really create a boundary for myself to make that something that I hold sacred.


Lesley Logan 9:14  

I am obsessed with this. I love this so much. I really do. I, first of all, my friends make fun of me because I'm like, oh, you're going there. This is my favorite hotel. Because I love a hotel. I find I get so much done. I wasn't even in a hotel on Monday, but I was at a friend's house, it kind of felt like a hotel. And I was like, oh, I got all my work done in three hours. Okay. And I was like, that is so funny, because when you're at home, there's so many distractions. Like, before we're on this podcast, we have an older dog. By the time this episode comes out, it's probably passed at this point, but, you know, it's hard. It's how you're like, oh, okay, so we're gonna be late on that call because I got this thing, and then I gotta do some laundry. And you just can't be that creative person. You have to kind of remove yourself. But I also just love that you highlight, like, I have pockets of this, and I think protecting those pockets, like a pocket of this type of thing I'm going to focus on this here. It allows you to kind of show up and be their best version of yourself in that moment, and not kind of stress about all the things you thought you'd fill in those two hours. 


Kristen McGuiness 10:08  

Yeah, yeah, I've learned. I mean, I've, I mean, look, I think most moms struggle with self sacrifice because motherhood really demands it. I mean, it is hard you constantly or be laboring like, how do I, I don't want to put myself ahead of my kids. I mean, I want to, you know, I mean, they are in and I have young children. I have a five year old and a nine year old. I mean, the nine year is obviously more independent, but they're still school-aged children. I don't have teenagers at home, and so there is a lot of caregiving, physical, emotional, psychological that is taking place. And I want to prioritize that I am a mom who prioritizes being a mom, but I also don't want to lose myself in that activity, and I don't think that is healthy for my children either. And when I do lose myself, that's when I am my worst mom, that's when I'm angry, that's when I'm quick to temper. It's when I don't feel like I'm getting to take care of me. And so I've just really learned that, you know, I come, you know, my mom's, like, a boomer, we're actually in a fight right now, so it's really interesting. And we're, and it's a fight about exactly these things like these intergenerational dynamics of like, I have to, like, still lie to my parents and tell them that I'm here doing a business meeting. Because they'd be like, why are you spending money on a hotel to work on a screenplay that you're not getting paid to do? And I'm like, because I will go insane, otherwise, it is so valuable for me to stay sane and creative and whole and human. My mom came from a generation, although she's incredibly makes very selfish choices now, like it was all about, like, you sacrifice all the way up until retirement, and then you just get to be selfish every minute of the day. And I'm like, that doesn't look I mean, I think we've seen by the gross impacts of your generation's choices, that probably wasn't a good idea. But also I don't think that makes it like a well-lived life. I want to feel like I'm getting to show up for others and getting to show up for me in some level of consistency. And I absolutely agree, like balance is just not falling down. And also, sometimes I think balance is falling down because that's also part of it. You're like, oh, fuck. You know, like, I'm off. But I do think creating that integration between we take care of others, but we still take care of ourselves and our dreams and who we are, and not losing that identity that exists before, during and long after our children are grown.


Lesley Logan 12:22  

Yeah, and also, I just think it's really cool for your young kids to see that you do protect the things that you love. You protect your time with them, but also they're seeing you go and protect the time for who, like, whether or not you get paid for the screenplay. Like, it's not about that, because the screenplay could lead to something else, into something else, but, like, it makes you feel whole, and it makes you feel alive, just as much as parenting would, but it's a different part of you. And so I think it's cool they get to see that, because then they get to, when they get older, know that there's an option for them, you know, like, there's, there's possibilities, and there's ways they get to see it an example. 


Kristen McGuiness 12:57  

Yeah, no, I, and I think it's really about like showing. It's, I mean, again, I've just written, like, literally, I'm just coming off of writing the screenplay, and there's a whole like, scene in the screenplay where one of the characters say, we can't control what happens around us, right? The only thing we can control are the choices we make in that, you know? I mean, I'm an entrepreneur. My husband is also an entrepreneur, which is just, I mean, the level of insanity that that brings, and especially in the last couple of years where, like, the global economics have been far out of our control, so we've been terribly impacted by sort of the larger financial environment. And I'm like, but you know what? We get to make choices within that. And that doesn't mean that all of them are happy, some of them are hard. But just to feel like I have no choice, and that this, well, this is just the way it is, right? And it's like, no, I mean, we get to create our own pathway through whatever we're navigating. To me, you know, I always say to myself, it's like my little mantra, like, I'm going to write my way through this, whatever is going on, I'm going to write my way through this. And that's just, you know, for others might be, I'm going to Pilates my way through this, right? Like, whatever the thing is that's your source of healing. And also the thing that helps you to understand how and why life happens. That's what you have to tap into. And without that, I mean, then I think you are just on the floor, right? Then you can't even, then there's no balance, because you can't even, like, you don't even have a foundation underneath you.


Lesley Logan 14:16  

Yeah, yeah, it's so true. There's a million things that go on in a day. I was just recording the podcast drops that we call FYFs, Fuck Yeah Friday, and it's just a short episode where I share listeners wins, and I share one of mine. And I was like, there's 17 things that have gone wrong today, like 17, and they're all out of the control. None of them were things like, I knocked the first domino forward on that. So you have to just go, okay, what are those do I need to deal with? Can I just put that over here? Or what can I do? What is possible in this moment for me to handle so that I can keep moving the ball forward? Because, like you, my husband and I are both entrepreneurs. We work together, which is this own level of insanity. 


Kristen McGuiness 14:53  

I love you both. 


Lesley Logan 14:55  

I know everyone's like, so how do you do it? And I was like, I'm just gonna tell you right now. We're still figuring that out, and I think communication is really key, and sometimes we suck at it, but you try and you just go, okay, didn't handle that so good. Next time, I'll handle that better. But I think it's really there's honesty about it, and I love that you said you write your way through it. Some people will Pilates their way through it, or journal their way through it, or take a long bathrobe. But like, you, there's got to be a process for which you reflect and learn and integrate what's going on in your life.


Kristen McGuiness 15:26  

No, absolutely, and yeah, again. God bless you for being an entrepreneur with your husband. I try to, sometimes I have to help my husband with his business, and I'm like, I would quit this job in like five minutes, but he owns a restaurant, which is, like, I think the worst business you could open, honestly, I'm like, oh my God, every time I go to eat now at a restaurant, I have so much grace and gratitude for what happens. Our pediatrician once said, no one knows how expensive the cheat meal is. And I was like, so true. Like, you have no idea what people do to sell you food in a restaurant.


Lesley Logan 16:01  

Oh, you're, bless your husband and all the restaurateurs out there, but that's, I don't like the margins, but I would say books are very similar. So I feel.


Kristen McGuiness 16:11  

You realize that, thank you. We kind of realized that a little late. We're working our way through that. We did not know that. We thought, we knew that books were a slim profit margin. We naively thought the restaurant business wasn't. Then we discovered both were at the same time. We were like, you know, there's a great Macklemore song where he says, if I had done it for the money, I would have been a fucking lawyer. And I'm like, that's like, my bumper sticker I got in the back of my car. We're truly here for love and fun, and the belief in, apparently, pizza and books, but pizza is important. I will never deny that. But, yeah, no. I mean, we have learned. I mean, we are in a very high stress, double entrepreneurial situation, and also have an aging dog, and we are also in the end zone of what's to come on that. And it's just, it's so brutal, and yes, and it's the same thing where, like, there are days where we do not do it well, certainly. And then, like, recently, I've just, you know, been realizing that there is so much about this that you have to take your hands off the wheel, you know. And I've joked, like, I know, if you have seen the other the little gif at some point, I think everybody has. It's like, the end of Thelma and Louise. We're like, Thelma and Louise grab hands, and then the car flies off the Grand Canyon and like a hubcap falls off. And I've been using that gift is like, I just send it to everybody I work with, because I'm like, this is my business strategy. And last night, when my friends was like, you can't tell people that. And I was like, no, but it is because there is something about living your dreams that is just like a hope, a prayer and floor the fucking car, and, like, off you go, and you got to know that you're going to land. It might be a terrifying drop, but you're going to land. I mean, obviously, hopefully not in fire and death, but that's not going to happen, right? Like, no business ends like that. And so it is just this thing of, like, at a certain point you can work really hard, you can do all the strategies, right? But like, ultimately you didn't hit the first domino. And you just have to sometimes be like, Mercury is in retrograde, and we're just gonna wait until August 28 rolls around. Everything goes direct, or whatever it is, the thing that you know is, like, this is just, we're in the pressure cooker right now, but like, relief is always on the way. 


Lesley Logan 18:22  

Oh, my God, this retrograde? We are feeling in every possible way of tech. I'm like, Okay, well, okay, we'll just redo that. We're like, I have a astrologist that I listen to who's always like, if it's put an argument in front of it, and that's the best thing, refine, reorganize, read, we're redoing. We're just gonna but I agree, you do have to take the action. You do have to put the pedal to the metal, but then you also have to, like, release and go, you know, it's gonna end somewhere. And some of the best things that ever happened in my business were the ones that felt that kind of happened for me, or to me or without, without the control, and I just have, it's not the right place at the right time, because I did the work to get there. But also, couldn't have happened without some just like magical or universal or divine appointment that happened along the way. And then you just have to ride that. You just have to enjoy that. And I also think it is crazy that I work with my husband. I also am so grateful because it's really fun to work with him. And I don't know that a lot of people can put up with my creative energy. There's not a lot of people who would be like, we love that idea. Lesley, we're gonna put that over here. You know, like a partner can go, yeah, later, until later. It's really refreshing and also just really nice to hear like, you know, you don't have everything figured out. Not everything happens the exact way it's supposed to. You didn't just turn a light switch on, and things worked. So thank you for sharing that. I want to get into, like, your latest book, is it Live Through This, and I just, can you tell us maybe, like, what was the drive like, why did you have to, like, why was it something you wanted to, like, get out of you, and what are you hoping that people get from it? 


Kristen McGuiness 19:52  

Absolutely, yeah. I mean, I really lived through this. That nine-year-old was, at the time, only one years old. So it was in 2016, and it is not a spoiler alert, because it happens in chapter two. There's actually a mass shooting that sort of is the impetus for the whole story that kind of explodes across the rest of the pages, quite literally. And I was really moved to write it because, I mean, obviously we are a nation that deals with mass shootings all the time, but as we know, it's almost like a season, like there are these moments where it just feels like it's every day, you know, you're just like, oh my God, another one. Oh my God, another one. And 2016 felt that way. There were a lot of them, sort of back to back, and they had actually happened in places where I knew or was just felt like really emotionally connected to, actually, the shooting that happened in Paris, the Bataclan attack in November of 2015 I think that was, was in the neighborhood where we used to live in Paris. Someone was actually shot on our street corner. And then there was a shooting in San Bernardino at the regional center, which was 40 minutes from where I was working at that time at a nonprofit, also in a government building. So we began to get trained in our offices about what to do in the event of a mass shooting. And then the night of the Paul shooting was really the impetus where I was just like, oh my God, enough. My husband and I were about to go to a live concert a couple weeks after that shooting, and I began to get really scared. And I'm just not somebody who has, like, I have no agoraphobia. I'll go anywhere. I don't have a lot of just those kinds of fears. Or I'm really adventurous. I love to be out and about. And it was like a band we love and personally know, and a really fun night. And I actually began to get scared to go. And so it sort of led to this, you know, as a lot of books I think come out, oh, it was like, what would happen if, right? And I was like, what would happen if there was a shooting that night? And out of that began this story. And so it is about a shooting at a nightclub and a concert, and the main character loses her spouse, which, again, it happens in chapter two. So it, you know, it's kind of silly to hide it. And she begins to navigate what happens, not just after you lose someone, but also what happens after you go sort of like accidentally viral and suddenly and I started writing this long before Parkland, but it is the Parkland journey of what happened with a lot of those kids who've experienced significant trauma, not just from the event, but from the activism afterwards, because obviously they wanted to be part of activism, but the, and in the same with the Sandy Hook families and everything that happened with Alex Jones is that they're just dragged through the mud, and it's just so horrible what happens to them, and death threats, and, you know, it's like it was bad enough they went through the shooting, but now they have to go through this. And so she's navigating all of that, but it's 2016, it's on the eve of what ended up being a really shocking election that has dictated the last eight years of our lives. My God. oh my God, please let it end. And so this character isn't just deciding, hey, am I going to be an activist about what just happened to me? But also the story kind of stands on the pinnacle of art, what became our modern times. You know, how am I going to show up in this world as a person? And it's also about, really, her finding her voice, and she's coming out of a very complicated and hard marriage, and she grieves them, and she also has relief from what was a hard marriage. And so it's also about that, you know, I, I had that experience when my own father died, when my husband is completely alive and taking care of our kids, but, but when my father died, I really, you know, I really depicted it more about that relationship, because I had a very complicated relationship with my father, and when he passed away, I had a therapist who said to me, you know, you can have any reaction you want to this, and that includes relief, and it was such a freeing thing, because, you know, it's always like when someone dies, we're supposed to be sad. And it wasn't that I wasn't sad, but also I didn't have the complexity and the trauma of that relationship in my life. And so she's navigating that she has a young child, so she's also navigating being a single mom and all these different pieces. So it's interesting because it's set, now, it's almost like historical fiction, right? Oh, those sweet and gentle times of 2016 the days of yore, so, but it is also a lot about marriage and parenthood and sacrificing your dreams to show up and be a stable you know, I'm going to take care of the family and I'm going to do what I need to do, and she's in a nine-to-five job, and she sacrificed her dreams to just try to be like a normal person, only to discover that there's no such thing as normal, especially in modern America. And so we called it like a modern, suburban Western, because it is about that, and she has to become her own version of a gunslinger in the end.


Lesley Logan 24:28  

I do love that it's now historical fiction, because I too long for those days sometimes my husband and I sometimes I'm like, I just want to not know the house representative for, like, a state I've never been to. I just want to not know who that person is, but also like, how naive and how unique a time that was as well. Thank you for sharing the story. Now I feel like we need a Be It Till You See It book club, you guys, I want to hear all of your thoughts on reading it. I find fiction fascinating because I actually love it. I grew up on like Judy Blume, which is like fiction but not, you know what I mean. It's like, always based on something that happens, and then it's like, the story of it, your daughter, your it was your nine-year-old just one. Excuse me. Yeah, so with your, was there a part of you that was, like, writing it because also to be a parent of a time when, like, yeah, it's, I don't know how parents in their school, kids school, my mom's a school teacher. She's a first grade school teacher, and the thing she's telling me that she's have to prepare for, I'm like, you should not have a gun. I'm just gonna tell you right now, you know, I grew up with the earthquake drills. Now it's very different. And so was it partly just, it was even therapeutic, or just like, ways for you to kind of understand what you're going into as a parent at a time when this is such a scary thing going on?


Kristen McGuiness 25:40  

Yeah, no. I mean, that was definitely a driving force. I mean, it's a driving force every day, I think. I mean, especially now that I do have school aged children, and I mean, I make sure I kiss them every morning, just God forbid, I will not let them go to school without hugging them and kissing them. Because I remember one of the Parkland fathers, actually one of them who became quite active. I forget his name now, but he always said that the morning that his daughter left for school, they were really busy, and he didn't hug her and say goodbye, and he never knew he would never not see her again. And I just can't even fathom that pain, especially under the conditions that those murders take place. And so, yeah, I mean, I definitely wrote it for that. I mean, there's a as one of the my blurb authors, Gina Frangello, who's amazing, gave me this great blurb that's saying, like, it's a call to action, and the book really is. I mean, there's a moment in the book where the main character, I discovered, long after writing it, that there's actually a genre called autofiction, which is what I wrote. I just didn't know, you know, my own genre's name, until, like, six months ago, where it's like, it's totally my life, like anybody who reads the book, like, my husband's name is Terry, and my friends all call it the book where Terry dies and like, it freaks them out, because they're like, wait, he's still, he's still alive, like, I just saw him yesterday, but like, it's like the book where Terry dies, and I did. I mean, I did use our lives, because at the time, I had considered writing a memoir, but we're not that exciting of a couple. We don't drink, we don't smoke, we don't cheat on each other. I joke, it would just be like 100 pages of people arguing about finance and ADHD.


Lesley Logan 27:08  

There's, there's a, there's a group of people who would read that, you know?


Kristen McGuiness 27:12  

I mean, they still can, because they because the couple still argues about finance and ADHD in the book. But we just, we raised the stakes. They need a little more plot, a little more plot. So I gave it a lot of plot. But I mean, there's a scene in the book where the main character ends up having a meeting with the President of the time prior to Trump. And I didn't like, use Obama's name, but it's clearly him, because Obama would meet with people after those shootings, and she ends up with a one-on-one meeting, because she ends up kind of getting a little fame under her belt, and in that meeting, she flat out asked for an executive order banning assault weapons, because it's just and that's why, I mean, ultimately, I say like that is what? If you ask me what the book is about? Yeah, it's about marriage and single motherhood and mass shootings, but it's really about the need for, excuse me, an executive order banning assault weapons. One point, I'd actually worked on building a whole campaign around that, and an activism campaign, and then with everything that happened with the Biden administration, it didn't make sense. But I was just talking to one of my colleagues the other day, and I was like, look, if Trump makes it into office, we can just say goodbye, but if I'm like, truly, like, see you later, buddy.


Lesley Logan 28:14  

I know, especially after the most recent Supreme Court situation on that. I was like, What are we doing? 


Kristen McGuiness 28:18  

I know. See on the flip side. Yeah, my husband and I like a boat, a boat sounds good. But if Kamala makes it into the office, there are some real changes that the Democrats have failed to make, multiple times over, with multiple opportunities, with control of the Senate, control of the House, and I would hope that she will take this enthusiasm and momentum, although obviously it will wane, because it is what it is. But I do think that people have returned to the fold in a way that's like, okay, let's just fucking do this. But once she, you know, presumably, gets to do it, she has to do something, because we just can't have somebody else show up again and not take control of the situation. 


Lesley Logan 28:59  

Yeah, I love that. You said that what I'm thinking of is we live in a world where we do all have to be activists of some kind, but not every one of us is someone who wants to stand on a line and protest. That's not everyone's way of being an activist, but there are unique ways where we can be activating in people. And for some, you're barely keeping your head above water. And so your activism is telling your friends to vote, and you voting and doing the research, you know, like that could be your form of activism these days. Because, my goodness, if you don't know the US's voting records, or people are just don't do it. I've been to Australia. They're like, I don't understand. Like, we make it a holiday and everyone does it. It would be so weird to not do it. 


Kristen McGuiness 29:37  

Well, it makes so much sense, wouldn't it? 


Lesley Logan 29:38  

Yeah. And they're like, and you guys are just only this many people. I'm like, I don't really, I don't want to tell you. So for some of you, it might be an activating thing to go do that, but I love that you took this desire, this drive, this passion, and you put it in a form for people who want to have a really good read can be inspired by and also go, oh hold on, wait a minute. There are things that we can do, and there are things that can be done. And from our lips to their ears, my fucking goodness, if they do not hit the ground running, if they get what they need, like, I don't know what we're going to do. Want them to act with a little, just a little bit of urgency would be great, yeah, just that fucking tiny bit. And all this to say, the administration we have currently has done a lot with what they've had, but there was a two year mark where we could have just done a whole lot more, just saying, but I think like you're showing I hope that what everyone here is hearing this is like, you can have different ways of being an activist and different ways of inspiring people to think about what is possible and what can be done and keeping things in the forefront, because you're right, it goes in waves. That's not that we haven't had mass shootings. Unfortunately, they happen every day, and our media doesn't talk about it anymore. And then there'll be one, so then they'll talk about a few, and then they'll keep going, and then it becomes something else. And our media has talked about ADHD. They have a whole different acronym of what their attention span is. And so I appreciate your book, and I also appreciate this is a different way we can all figure out how we can take what we love and still use it to inspire others to take different actions. And I think that's really cool.


Kristen McGuiness 31:14  

Yeah. And I think, you know, going back sort of full circle on and, I mean, I think everybody has their the thing they used to get through life, right? Like I said, I write my way through this. So for me, my political activism, it makes sense for me to write it. That's the space in which I'm comfortable, you know. And everybody has their space in which they're comfortable. It's about to me, I think the most important thing is, as long as you keep paying attention, because the minute we stop paying attention, and that's the biggest thing too, is whatever way in which you can help other people to pay attention. You know, not just because you post on Instagram, although I don't not recognize how important that is, too. You know, the more that we are sharing information with each other, the more that we are talking, the more that we are activating each other into just awareness, hopefully, the better our world will be and the more we will demand the people in power to make certain decisions. And it does kind of go back into that idea, it's like, you know, we can, we can't control what the President does, but we can make choices every day to be part of that conversation in whatever way feels right and good and aligned with who we are. And so, you know, I've always been a political person, but I do believe that we all have our path through just navigating life and impacts those big systems have on all of us, no matter who we are.


Lesley Logan 32:31  

Yeah, you're so right. My husband, people wouldn't know, but his second hobby is like political podcast, the amount of research he does, and he's also the type of person who phone banks. So whenever they're like, are you volunteering? Like, only one person in the household can do it. Some of us have to keep the wheels on the bus right here. 


Kristen McGuiness 32:47  

Like, phone banking's over here.


Lesley Logan 32:48  

He's phone banking, but he, I watch him all the time in his way of activating and activism, he's not afraid of a conversation with someone who disagrees. And he's like, oh, have you heard this podcast? And he'll just use a podcast episode that will explain to someone he's like, just think, just listen to it. There are ways of doing it. He's not on socials. Lucky him. You know. But like we each can have our way of being part of this society and making change. And it can be loud or it can be writing a book. It can be writing a play. It could also be how you teach a class. It can be the types of music that you're using to help and inspire people and have people ask questions. Or it can be like, Brad is like, oh, to our friend who had a flag up, we're like, it's interesting. I wouldn't have expected that from that person, and he just went with quiet curiosity and was like, oh, you should listen to this episode right here. And the guy did, that's where you make really big impact, is on those small relationships. It doesn't feel big in the moment, but it's big over time. And so you're just freaking cool. You're so cool, we're all gonna go read your book. What are you most excited about right now?


Kristen McGuiness 33:50  

I mean, I just wrote a screenplay in 12 hours, I'm very excited about that.


Lesley Logan 33:55  

Yeah. What did you guys do listening? She wrote a screenplay in 12 hours. I forgot my laundry in the wash machine. 


Kristen McGuiness 34:00  

That's not what I do every day of my life, folks. So, by no means, there are a lot of days that are just laundry and lifting up a 80 pound dog who can't stand by himself. I take care of a lot of people, no, but I did get to do that. But the exciting part of that, the reason why I just cracked that out, is that Live Through This is actually going to a very big actress in the next week, and I wanted to have some sample writing to go with it. So that was the motivation to be like, I'm having dinner with the producer tonight. And I was like, I'm going to crack out that screenplay. She's a dear friend of mine. I'm going to give her a draft of it tonight, and hopefully next week we can turn around fast enough so that this book and this screenplay that I just wrote that is similar in that it's about, I mean, my poor husband has become a very unfortunate muse, but we just went on a two week trip to Greece that I said was like an odd DC and adventure. It was like, people like, how was your vacation? And I'm like, how do I respond to that? I'm far too honest to be like, it was fun. I'm like, it was not like two weeks laying around Hilton Head. It was a fucking life changing adventure, in good ways and bad. So I decided, you know what, I'm gonna write a screenplay about that experience, except for it includes, you know, talking cats and the goddess Artemis. And it's like, it's super funky and fun, and that's just what I did. And the beauty of it is that I am also a book publisher, and I'm a book coach. I have a book coaching company, Rise Writers, and a book publishing house, Rise Books. So, so much of my time when I am not parenting, I actually am not a writer. That's not what pays the bills, right? So I have this other really big creative job, but it's so much of my time and energy goes into other people's creative projects. So when I just finished that screenplay, I was like, who knows what's gonna happen with this crazy thing I just wrote. But the fact is, I got to just do that for me and the catharsis and excitement. I mean, I'll watch anything with a talking animal. So, I mean, I just figured if nobody else ever wants to see this movie, I'd watch it just for a talking cat named Gordon. 


Lesley Logan 35:57  

Oh, don't you love a pet with, a pet with a human name. I screwed up. We named all of our animals like something important, and the next round is going to be like, Bob and Jonathan.


Kristen McGuiness 36:09  

My dog's name is Peter. It's actually like, it's so funny, because there are a lot of dogs with human names, but that wouldn't, for that reason. And he also looks like a human so he actually confuses people. When people look at my dog, they're like, oh Peter. And you see, there's a moment where they go, is that a person or a dog? 


Lesley Logan 36:26  

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I understand. I understand. Oh my god. I adore you. I'm so excited to see where this goes. And I just so appreciate your vulnerability and honesty about how you do life, because I think that, for everyone listening, there's something to pick up there. We're gonna take a brief break, and then we're gonna find out how people can find you, follow you, read all of your goodness. 


All right, Kristen, tell us where people can read your amazing book, or find out if Gordon ever makes it on the big screen. 


Kristen McGuiness 36:51  

Yeah, let's say if ever there was a cat who deserved the big screen. No, you can find me at Kristen McGinnis on Instagram or @RiseLiterary, but my website is riseliterary.com where you can learn more about me and the book publishing house, Rise Books, as well as all of our book coaching programs. If you are writing a book and are interested in finding out how you do that, we offer lots of ways to find your path to publishing, which is like our trademarkable motto. But also you can find Live Through This anywhere it's sold. It's distributed by Simon & Schuster. So we are everywhere, Barnes and Noble, Amazon, I guess I will flash the book, yeah. So wherever books are sold. So yeah, but otherwise, just come and check us out and hope to connect with some of y'all listening soon.


Lesley Logan 37:40  

All right, before I let you go, bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us?


Kristen McGuiness 37:48  

All right. This is, when I read the email beforehand. I was like, yikes.


Lesley Logan 37:55  

I know you know what though, you're brilliant. It'll, every like, it's gonna be brilliant, whatever you say, so don't be yikes.


Kristen McGuiness 38:02  

No. I mean, I think if I could just show the gift from the end of Thelma and Louise, that would be it. But, I mean, I do think it is it, you know. I mean, I think it's about never lose sight of the dream, no matter what, and no matter what gets in the way, you know, no matter what life shows up, no matter what children you have, no matter where your marriage goes, or whether you get married or not, or whether you have kids, no matter whether the dog passes away or you get a kitten, you know, no matter what comes there's this great I think it's an Emmy Lou Harris song that says all that you have is your soul. And I think that that's really true. We are always there underneath it all, and as long as we connect back into that, and I'll actually end on an Oprah quote, one of my authors put this in a book that she just, we're publishing in May, called Rewrite the Mother Code. I will also honor her, Dr Gertrude Lyons, she's writing it, and she puts this Oprah quote in there that said, I've learned, and I'm going to not say the quote perfectly, but like I've learned over time that there is always a small, quiet voice inside me that's leading me where I'm supposed to go. And the only times I've ever made mistakes in life is when I've chosen to ignore that voice. And I think that, to me, is the biggest step is like, as long as you're listening to the small, quiet voice inside you, you will always end up where you need to go, so you don't need to grip the wheels so tightly. Let go and get the gas and enjoy the view. 


Lesley Logan 39:30  

Oh, Kristen, I'm obsessed. You're amazing. Y'all, how are you going to use these tips in your life? Let Kristen know. Let us know at the Be It Pod. Share this with a friend. Sometimes it's like the thing that someone needs to help them listen to that voice inside and, you know, write their way through it, or Pilates their way through it, or whatever it is, because we all have something we can do in this world. Thank you so much. And until next time everyone, Be It Till You See It. 


That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


Brad Crowell 40:37  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


Lesley Logan 40:42  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


Brad Crowell 40:47  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


Lesley Logan 40:54  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


Brad Crowell 40:57  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.


Transcribed by https://otter.ai



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