385. What Happens When You Break Free From Old Identities

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Are you ready to step into that new version of yourself? In this episode, Lesley Logan interviews Danny-J Johnson and Jill Coleman, the voices behind The Best Life podcast, whose unique and inspiring friendship has been a cornerstone of their journey. Discover how they transitioned from fitness industry professionals to influential figures in empowering women as they share their experiences coping with infidelity, applying Jill's "as if" principle, and understanding ego death in leadership. Learn how clinging to your old self and how people perceive you can hold you back. This episode is a masterclass in reclaiming your power.

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In this episode you will learn about:

How Danny-J and Jill's friendship and collaboration began.
The inspiration and struggles behind The Best Life podcast.
Their gradual transformation and how their audience has evolved.
Danny's unexpected encounter that led to a new documentary.
Insights into maintaining a successful collaboration or partnership.
How Jill applied the "as if" principle to scale her business.
How to let go of old identities and overcome the fear of ego death.

Episode References/Links:

Guest Bio:

Jill & Danny-J both started their careers in the fitness industry as personal trainers then as fitness competitors and cover models. As they soon discovered, modeling doesn’t pay the bills and the hustle can’t last forever, they each turned to online training to buy back some of their time and increase their impact. While, they knew “of” each other online, they finally met in person in 2013 where they learned that their similarities extended past their fitness backgrounds.They were also the same age, had husbands who were the same age…. And, as life goes; they both found out their husbands were having affairs within a year of each other.

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Episode Transcript:

Danny-J Johnson 0:00

We were looking at the sunset and she was just like, 'This is so cool we get to be here. This is the best life.' And we're like, yeah, this is. And so the best life really came out of these moments of things can be so hard and we can be going through the most unimaginable things that we can process and yet still find the good in them and still choose to see like this can be the best.

Lesley Logan 0:24

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 1:06

All right, Be It babes, get ready, because we have some amazing Be It babes, literally, on the pod. And I'm in plural. So I love these two women to the moon and back. I could have done a two-hour interview with them. I could have done two different ones. We might have to have them back just because they're powerful epic women who are extremely, not just vulnerable, but also like integris. And I mean that in that they really do say what they're doing. And they're also not afraid to tell you when they are going to change things because they've actually gone to the transformation themselves. And that's what we're gonna talk about. So they're the host of The Best Life podcast, a podcast I've been listening to since 2019. And they started a couple years before that. Brad actually turned me on. Jill Coleman was one of our coaches for many years. And still someone whose tips and strategies I still think of and use today. She's just amazing. Danny-J has been a great person for me to learn from she has been in coaching sessions that I've done with Jill on Money Mindset and also really helped us with some ideas on a couple of launches that we've been doing and she's just a breath of fresh air with just amazing tips and things for life. So you're going to learn so much from these two women, it's going to be really, really fun. And I hope that you check out their podcast, because if you like this one, you're gonna like that one. And I also want you to know that you are just the most incredible people. Thank you for being here. Holy moly. I can't believe what episode number we're on. We couldn't do without you. So thank you for sharing this podcast with a friend and thank you for being part of the Be It family. And also, more importantly, thank you for being it till you see it each and every day. You're amazing.

Lesley Logan 1:26

All right, Be It babes. I'm super stoked for this stuff. This finally happened. I've had these two women on my list for quite some time. Part of it was me just like waiting until like, I was a better podcaster. And then it was like I really wanted to just highlight an amazing way. And then life gets really busy. But we finally have these amazing women, Danny-J and Jill Coleman. Thank you all so much for being here. Just a quick little, little thing that I have to say before I have you introduce yourself, you guys. Jill, doesn't even know when we actually first met, but I know when we first introduced, we were introduced to her and we listened to every single thing she taught in a 30-minute little training, wrote it down, ran through her amazingness and then bought a house. So we always said this is the house that Jill built. And then we were introduced to Danny-J because of Jill and her podcast. And I just, I just love Danny J, how you you're so uniquely different than Jill but also like the two of you are two peas in a pod. So I've learned so much from both of you and your amazing personalities. Can you tell everyone, Danny-J first, who you are and what you rock at? And we'll go to Jill.

Danny-J Johnson 3:52

Yeah, well, thanks for having us on this. And I know it's been a process to get on the show. Jill and I are both definitely different. But the way in which we're the same is that we don't like to reply to emails or schedule. We had such a challenge to figure out when to make this work. But yeah, so I started in the fitness industry. And that's how Jill and I met, you know, over a decade ago, which is really crazy. And I've had a lot of pivots in the meantime, I think a lot of us who started in the fitness industry go into coaching or personal development or mindset work because I think that when you're working with people in fitness, you realize how much mindset is such a big piece of the journey. And so over the years, I've done that, I've done a lot more public speaking and what, you know, went through some big major life transitions over the last couple of years, not that we all didn't because of the pandemic but so in the meantime, I have just been working on the podcast, doing a little bit more speaking and doing some behind the scenes stuff, coaching other people helping them with launches, and working on a documentary. So that's where I'm at right now.

Lesley Logan 4:56

You never cease to amaze me with the different things that you do. (inaudible) So, can you tell everyone in case they don't know how amazing you are as well and what you rock at?

Jill Coleman 5:09

Yeah, just casually being like, yeah, there's gonna be a documentary about my life.

Lesley Logan 5:14

I know. Okay, we'll get into that, but.

Jill Coleman 5:16

Yeah, we need to talk about that. Um, yeah, I am so excited to be on this podcast, and I can't wait for the recap. As you know, I love you and Brad, and I am so excited and just honored to be here. And yeah, you and I and Brad have worked together for the last few years on business stuff. And you and I do know that we met at, it was, what, Chris and Laurie Harder's event? You were in Fast Foundations. And I went, and basically, they were like, hey, can you come and teach? What are you excited about? And I was like, Dude, I love talking about launching, and basically talk for like, 90 minutes with a whiteboard, which is on brand for me. And you followed it up, and you guys said, hey, you know, we pretty much implemented your exact this is from like a gist of speaking engagement. Like you guys took it, you ran with it, and you fucking crushed your next launch, which was really awesome. And then that started our relationship. So like, Danny, I was in the fitness industry for a very long time, still have a hand in the fitness industry. But mostly do business coaching at this point, you know, I love fitness, love nutrition, but I feel like I'm a little bit on the outside looking in. If I'm going to a conference, it's a business conference. So I feel like even though I still love health, fitness, wellness, I don't think you can get away from that. If you want to have a successful business you have take care of yourself. But when it comes to what I'm passionate about is really helping fitness and wellness pros build their online business and bringing them online and being able to create the life that they want, have autonomy, flexibility, financial freedom, all that good stuff.

Lesley Logan 6:33

Yeah, yeah. You were doing already, obviously, when we met, but it's been cool to see how you've changed that, leveled it up and dialed even deeper into that. Okay, but the two of you together have The Best Life podcast. And I kind of want to start with that just a little bit. Because I've even watched that go through an evolution. What I love about talking about the show is like life isn't very linear. And we have we all change as things go, and you guys have even changed what that podcast focuses on. So can you talk a little bit what The Best Life was when it started and like, and then how that journey has gone?

Danny-J Johnson 7:09

The Best Life started, so Jill and I had talked about doing a podcast, I think individually and together for a long time I like I think most of us have, probably less I'm just gonna guess that when you first thought about doing a podcast, when you started was probably a big gap of time, at least for I'd say it was like a couple years. And I think it was like, what do we talk about what kind of podcast and Jill and I went through some big stuff. We were both married. We, I think how Jill and I became really good friends was this we, we met in 2013 at an event. And I remember having this cup, we went to dinner, we knew of each other, we went to dinner. And I remember we were talking and we just kept saying me too, me too. Like, I just felt like we were living these parallel lives. We were the same age, oor husbands were the same age, we were doing, we were both in fitness. And then we both kind of went to coaching fitness entrepreneurs. And we decided to meet up in Vegas. And we I thought we would have like a little couples trip and she said, hey, let's just meet as girls. And she shared that her husband had had an affair and they were separating. And I remember just thinking how could anyone have an affair with Jill as their wife like she's gorgeous and smart and attractive. And she could share? You know her thoughts on that. But literally, I think it was eight months later, same thing happened to me. And I was really embarrassed to talk about it. And she had called me and I, finally, she was the first person I told. And she said, you know, come stay with me in California. And I was like, are you serious? Because I remember thinking I don't know where I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go have to live with my parents or something I didn't know what to do. And so I moved out to Los Angeles, stayed on her couch for a month. And we were both just kind of rebuilding our life and going through one of the hardest times we had been, been through together. And we had this moment we were sitting on her balcony in Santa Monica, we were drinking wine. And I'm sure crying, at least I was. And we were looking at the sunset. And she was just like, "This is so cool we get to be here. This is the best life." And we're like, "Yeah, this is." And so The Best Life really came out of these moments of things can be so hard and we can be going through the most unimaginable things that we can process and yet still find the good in them and still choose to see like this can be the best. And we had some of the best times during that time. We laughed and we went through some crazy things. But the best life really was about that. And we shared that story about the affairs in our first two episodes. And we just kind of looked at each other and said if this helps one person feel less alone and like we did then we want to keep doing it. And so it started as being able to share those kinds of stories, helping people feel less alone, just sharing our journey. Of course, the first few years of The Best Life were us being single and going through crazy dating, and now we're both in long-term relationships. And so that's really changed, but I think the overall arching theme of The Best Life has still been helping people feel less alone, going through life transitions, how to look at them differently and change your perspective. And so that part, I think hasn't changed.

Lesley Logan 10:11

Yeah.

Jill Coleman 10:12

Yeah. I'm like, why am I tearing up on YouTube about that story? We had talked about the podcast for a while. And then but we were kind of like, we don't really know what to talk about at this time. Like, I feel like, people talk a lot more now about infidelity. And, you know, we have some friends who have like huge platforms who have since talked about being cheated on and going through infidelity and betrayal. But when Danny and I started in 2017, it like, wasn't like, it was kind of taboo to talk about, it was like, kind of embarrassing, you know, especially with us, two people who had audiences. And both of our ex-husbands were a kind of a big part of our brand, too. So there was this feeling of like, you know, can I do this alone? Or, like, you know, how does this look, you know, Danny had her ex-husband at some of our products. So it was like, so being able to share that we see a lot more of that now. But we never wanted to be a show, or we never wanted to be coaches that help people like marriage counseling, that wasn't our thing we weren't like, because we do get people who say like, should I say or go and we're like, dude, like, above my price with my written pay grade, right? Like, that was never the thing. So we always took the angle of look, this stuff is happening in your life, you can't control what your spouse does your partner does what other people in your life are doing, but you can always control what you decide to do and what you decide to make of it. And I think that really was the idea that you have a locus of control and a time in your life, whether it's any kind of loss doesn't have to necessarily be betrayal, any kind of loss, you have this, you have something you can do, you can still be in your power. You know, Danny moving to LA, probably one of the hardest times of her entire life. But she action that, she could have stayed in Utah, and like, you know, when I talked to her she's driving around and like crying in parking lots. I was like, what are you doing? You know, she she could have easily just tried to stay, she could have tried to like, you know, work on it. And you know, she did to a certain degree, but her ex was very clear about how he didn't want to work on it at that time. So, you know, she was able to action something, even in a time when she felt was completely betrayed. It wasn't her fault. And I felt the same way. And so I think for us, it's always been about like, that thing happened to you. And it fucking sucks. And that person might be an asshole, or whatever. But there's always something else that you can do. And so we've always focused on moving forward taking action, taking ownership, taking responsibility, what is that next version of you look like? And so yeah, I love that you said the best life has evolved because it certainly has we, you know, we're not going out drinking until like two in the morning, every six days a week like we were doing just trying to like cope and laugh and get through it. We had this one saying that for like about two years, we're just like, what else are you gonna do? You know, you're going through some of the hardest time in your life, you just, you do what you can. And so, you know, Danny hasn't even been drinking for the last 18 months, you know. So it's like, we've completely shifted, what our focuses is and I've definitely doubled down a lot more in business in the last several years. So it just evolved. And we've been able to luckily bring our audience along for that ride.

Lesley Logan 13:06

Yeah, I guess like, I would love to chat a little bit about that evolution, because I think a lot of people don't make changes, because they're like, what are people going to think? What are people going to say? And obviously, like, you already went through that with talking about the infidelity and talking about being single. But did people struggle as you guys got into relationships? Did you guys even like hesitate on sharing some of the transformations as the podcast was already going, because I feel like a lot of people, they know what they want to do. But they're that taking that next step where they could disappoint people is really the hardest thing to do.

Danny-J Johnson 13:39

I think transformation sometimes is really slow and gradual. So you don't notice. Like I don't think we got into our relationships thinking they were going to be five, six years later. So you know, we were dating, thinking, H guy was next. And so I think that it's been I know that there was one review that said something about how we were different. And maybe we were just checking the boxes, and I think there was a time around when my mom passed away, where we had kind of, we'd pulled off and just by necessity, right, I just wasn't there mentally and, and then we got back to it. And it was a little bit slow going. And it has changed. But I think our audience changes too, like Jill and I started over a decade ago. So we're not the same 25-year-olds and we're, our audiences ain't either so I think they also expect that and they probably, a bigger audience, if they haven't changed too, they leave and new people come in and so we don't really notice that as much and to be honest, it's not like we can be the same and I don't think we should I mean, I can't I'm not single-just-divorced Danny and neither is Jill and we probably shouldn't be that and if we are then we're not really a personal development guest.

Lesley Logan 14:54

Right. Right.

Jill Coleman 14:55

Yeah, and not that you need to like necessarily be in a relation on that not the next evolution but I also think, you know, people follow The Best Life not because Danny and I are like the expert at everything, they follow it because it's good listening. And it's fun. And it's two girlfriends, you know, kind of processing stuff, a lot of times, we'll be on an episode. And it started out being about this thing. And then all of a sudden, it's evolved into like this. And before I know it, like one of us is crying and like, and that we're having this really vulnerable conversation. And so I don't know that people are like, oh, yeah, Jill and Danny are experts at whatever, you know. But they will like to listen, because it's a good conversation because oftentimes, we challenge each other and we don't agree on everything. So I think there's, it's just like conversations you would have with your girlfriends, every I would say probably 80% of our reviews for the podcast, say something like, I feel like I'm just hanging in the living room with my girlfriends and chatting. And so we've never tried to say, I think our even our tagline is like, real, raw, sometimes insightful, like, we're not always, you know, go to Huberman or go to like us, he's not, he's a little bit canceled, but like, go to someone else, right, if you want the research studies and shit like that. That's never really been our style. Our style has been just like real and raw. And that's what people tell us. So.

Lesley Logan 16:03

Yeah, I, thank you for sharing that. And I do think you're right, Danny-J, like, transformation does happen slowly, sometimes, like, we'll go through that journey with you. And it's kind of it's the rare person who maybe they were listening for a while, and then they popped in like they've changed like, that might, might be the thing. I want to get into, so, Danny-J, you've you've done a fitness, and then in coaching, and then finance coaching, and now you've a documentary. So can we chat a bit about because I think, you know, you, to me are such a permission giver of really following what your heart is saying and like what you're drawn to. And, you know, my perfectionist overachievers, who are listening, they're like I said, I was gonna do it like this, I'm gonna do it like this. And I, maybe you do it like that. But I feel like you're like, no, I, this is how I'm gonna do it, I feel you just give me a lot of permission to kind of just go a different way. So can you talk a little about how you got to what you're doing now in this documentary?

Danny-J Johnson 16:55

Yeah, sometimes I feel mad at myself for not just sticking to one thing, because like my friend, Cassie, she's the brand blog allottees. And I remember looking at her maybe five or six years ago, and I was like, Man, if I just stuck with Sweaty Betties, which was my fitness brand, for longer, I would be a lot more successful if I just stayed there. But I had these, and every single time it's been a moment of just, I cannot do this thing anymore. And it's like some physical feeling in my body that I just can't stand whatever it is. And that, like the Sweaty Betties moment, I was actually at an orphanage and there was a very, very specific moment where I was hungry. And there was nothing to eat and someone brought us these peanut butter sandwiches made with Wonder Bread. And I was like, I had two simultaneous thoughts as one, I'm not going to eat those kinds of carbs. And two, I think I was like, I can't believe that I am seeing that shit right now, when I'm in an orphanage with all these starving kids. And that's all they get. And so I had this like, holy shit moment of, wow, I'm so privileged that I can choose what kind of carbs I'm going to eat. And this is like all there is to eat at the moment. And so I came home, really, really like having this inner dialogue of, I have so many clients that are like, can I eat this? Can I eat this and I'm like, you're so lucky, you get to have the choice to eat whatever you want, like get over yourself. And so I stopped doing meal plans really shortly after that. And I started to really focus on just what was behind that. It was like, okay, I noticed I attracted a lot of binge-eating clients. And it was like, it's not really what you're eating. It's what's eating you. And so I got really into what was the deeper stuff. Now to use the word trauma is a little more like, I guess, the trendy thing, but it's like, what are the traumas behind that? What are the things that you're processing that are making you overeat? And so that really intrigued me. So did like success, mindset and mindset stuff started to intrigue me. And so I started to shift started to talk about it, but it was kind of gradual, I'd have these kind of conversations online, and people would either jump in on it or not. But I found that the conversations I was having other people were maybe having these insights at the same time. So it turned into another gradual thing. When I look back. I'm like, how did I get from here? Like I was an acrobat at SeaWorld to what I'm doing now. And there's no linear line. But as I look back to each of the like little steps in the conversations in between, it does make sense how it's evolved. The pandemic was a big one. You know, none of us saw that coming. None of us saw how things would shift. But again, it brought up things for all of us to kind of contemplate. There were conversations that were being had about racism and privilege and things that I hadn't concerned myself with before. And that shifted a lot of the ways I think, and the ways I show up. And so how we got to the documentary, was this completely random and also on brand as Jill would say, I was in a bathroom at the Ritz Carlton, Jeff and I just went to go hang out and kind of work there. We were visiting in Orange County and met this woman in the bathroom and she complimented my hair. And about two and a half years ago, I lost a ton of hair. So I was wearing it, it was really thin, and I was really embarrassed. So I bought a halo like, it's an expensive headpiece like extra hair. And she goes, your hair is so pretty, and me, I can't take a compliment. That's not true. So I was like, thank you, but it's not my hair. And I literally pulled it off and showed her that I had this fake hairpiece on. So she started laughing. And I told her where to get it. And I was like, oh, I'll send you a link. So I got her phone number and sent her this link to get the hair. And she was probably in her 60s. Or like 50s. And I don't know how it came about but I, she somehow got a hold of my TED Talk. And my TED Talk was in 2021. And I share a lot about my life story. I was pregnant in high school, and I was suicidal. And she watched it and she text me and she said she saw this and she wanted to do a documentary on me. And I Googled her found out she's like this documentarian and she lives in Beverly Hills. She happened to be in Orange County at the Ritz for lunch with her friends. And I said, okay, and I didn't really take her seriously because I've dealt with Hollywood and TV people before. And nothing ever comes of it. But a few months later, she had me come out to our house and do some filming. A couple months after that, she flew to Vegas to do some filming. We're doing some filming in two weeks. And I talked to her and she's like, I want to get this done and have it out and ready for film festivals by 2025. So she's like, on it. And she's a legit person, she's won a lot of awards, and she wants to enter this into to, the film festivals. So it's really gonna be based loosely on my life, which is, I have an interesting story with family and my, I came from a sperm donor, and I placed my daughter for adoption. And so I don't even know the storyline of the documentary, but I know it's just gonna be based, based loosely on my life and like familial and bloodlines and that kind of thing.

Lesley Logan 22:08

That's so random. And also, it makes a lot of sense that it's everything to you. And I love these, I love those random moments. The other day, I went floating, and every time I float, my hair rarely gets wet. And so I don't really spend the time to shower and wash my hair because it's, it's a lot, not complaining, very blessed. But it would be, I would, the person after me is going to take, is gonna be half an hour late, like it's just going to take time. So I was like, oh, it's a little wet. So I rinsed it just like in the bun and just like rinsed where I thought the salt water hit. And I get out and my hair is like dripping wet. And I'm like, but it's not wet, right? Like it's just like a little section. It's like dripping wet. So I like did it again. I'm trying to dry it in a rush trying to get out and Brad's like there is so much salt in your hair. Like you're like what has happened? I was like, I don't know, I've rinsed like I did a little rinse and normally it doesn't get wet. At any rate, we called five different salons to do a hair wash. None of them were available. Went to Great Clips. I can't believe I was gonna say that. I was like, I called the guy, I'm like, but they can't ruin it, right? If they just wash it. I said, yeah, I'm like, I'll be there in three minutes. I walked in, like you have to wait and I'm like, I have a plane to catch. I've salt down my hair. So Brad's like, I'm gonna find someone, calls another salon. He said, we're gonna have lunch and you're gonna have your hair washed this place in an hour. I was like, okay, drops me off. And he realizes he left his computer, left his computer at The True Food. We're having lunch, and we're in Nashville. So he goes to get his computer. And he's like, hey, just walk over. I'm at this restaurant next door. And I was like, all right, it was not our plan, was not all we had planned for that day, we're gonna do (inaudible) a the airport, and I go there and this guy sits down next to us. And we're there for half an hour and a woman walks by and she's like, your hair is so beautiful. Now it just got washed. I didn't even let them blow it out. Like, this was like, I gotta go. And I was like, oh, thank you so much. And then the guy next to next to us. He says a compliment. We start talking. He had just lost his wife two weeks ago. He's like looking for a place to live. He's trying to change his life. It was the most weird thing that it's been to soon it has been one week since it happened so I have no idea it's gonna come from him. I'm like, there. We were supposed to be there for him that day, or there's something coming from this because you don't call four salons just to get a hair wash and end up leaving a computer at True Food and meeting a random person for nothing. But I find people tend to get a rush and realize things are happening and they shouldn't be doing it. And they don't take the time to have those little moments. So I love hearing what came from that. Jill, I'm sure it's not been linear either. But I feel like you know you were in fitness and then you're a fitness business and you really have been like going down the fitness business as you said. Also, though, I remember a time when you're like I like my business has been me and a couple of people and I got to watch you change that. And so I want to hear more about that because you are one of the first people after I did this podcast I heard you talk about the as-if principle and I feel like you really live by that and Be it till you see it. It's kind of that as-if principle. So can you talk about that transformation there?

Jill Coleman 25:05

Yeah, I will say it has been like fairly linear. So similar to Danny having a fitness brand, and realizing and I hate this word because it's so trendy, but like realizing that mindset is just such a huge piece of the fitness transformation. And really, really just me getting out of the obsessive sort of dieting, I just felt out of my integrity, like giving people meal plans, and it's similar to Danny. So people within a couple of years of me starting Jill Fit in 2010 I was still working full time. But within a couple of years, people were like, how are you doing what you're doing? And I was like, well, I don't really know. But I guess I can like help you if you want to start a blog. So it kind of just started like that. And then over the years, I started finding myself just feeling way more interested in learning business than continuing to learn fitness and nutrition. And I still obviously value that. But I started really just going down the business rabbit hole, and it kind of became just this personal brand. I mean, you know, where it was more of a lifestyle, people were like, oh, Jill's fitness business, like it kind of was this big, you know, sort of melting pot of a lot of different things. But in in that at that point, especially going through divorce, infidelity moving across the country. One of the things that I realized during that time was that while I didn't have control over what my spouse was doing, what he was thinking, what he was going through, I always had control over my business. Like, you know, I had control over this thing. If I worked harder, I made more money. If I got better at it, I made more money, I was able to financially leave my marriage. And that became a huge why for me, because a lot of women want to leave their marriage if they're going through something like that, but can't financially. So I remember when I decided to leave. In 2015, I was driving across country from North Carolina to a new place I had gotten in Los Angeles and the first night I was, and I've told this story on the podcast, but the first night I was in St. Louis and it was like the worst day of my life. I left it like five in the morning, said goodbye to my husband at the time, and was like literally just going to start a new life. I drove 16 hours, like no radio, no music, like, I was crying the whole time pretty much, get to St. Louis, like nine o'clock at night. And I remember being like, God, this is the worst fucking day like this is the shittiest day in my life. If I can even find five things to be grateful for on the shittiest day, then this isn't that bad. And it was tough. But I was like, yeah, and all of it was front it was all forward facing it was like everyone I'm going to meet in Los Angeles, the opportunities that are going to be there what I can do with my business. And one of them was the fact that I was financially secure enough to be able to leave and not only leave, but moved to Los Angeles, where the rent is crazy, and, and all that kind of stuff. So for me, that started this whole feeling of like, this is the why in my business, we work mostly with women. So I'm like, this is where the business coaching ties in. So I don't want to be your divorce, you know, coach, this, I want to be your personal development coach, I want to be that person who gives you a life raft, when you're in that moment where you need to make shit happen. And so for me that really kind of started that trajectory. But to your point, those first few years in L.A., single dating for the first time since I was 18. So you know, I'm like, I remember first, first time getting on a dating app. I downloaded like Tinder or something. And I literally thought people could see me like I was like, like, I was kinda like, can they see me right now? I just have no idea. So. So (inaudible) I'm like, what are they seeing right now? So a year later, of course, Danny moved out. And then you know, for a year we just kind of fogged around, we were still working at the time, but we were trying to figure shit out. And so for me, the business was not my priority. I was like, well, we just have this thing going over here making enough money to keep it going. But it really wasn't my passion at that time. But then pandemic hit. And at the beginning of the pandemic, it was such a strange time for online business owners because I was thinking, shit we're, we're not gonna make this. No one have any money. No one can buy coaching. You know, like all these like sort of luxury, you know, purchases are going to be out the door. The opposite happened for me. So within, I would say, six to 12 months, by early 2021, I was up to my eyeballs in one-on-one coaching. And I had never wanted to start a business where I would just be another quote personal trainer, but be online and bbe on Zoom for eight hours a day. I was like on Zoom like eight hours a day, four days a week. And I remember saying to myself, Jill, you're just right back in the gym, like this is just a different version. And at that point, I realized that I needed to scale and I needed to figure this out. I had always been just go go go go go. I had to slow down. And you know, what's the phrase like take a step back, take two steps forward. And at that point, yeah, we started growing the team and I started to really just like stepping into leadership and you're referring to the as-if principle which is actually a book by Richard Wiseman. I love this book so much. And at that time, I was like alright, if I want a different business model, and at the time my mentor was James Wedmore. He's still my mentor. But I remember I went to an event and he was speaking at it, it was our first mastermind event, and he was talking about his journey to, he has a $12-million business, but he's talking about his journey from and he's explaining all the things he does. And I'm like, this guy has the exact same business model as me. Like he does courses, he does coaching, he does group offers, he does, you know, all these kinds of things. The only difference is he's made different decisions. Although that he's not smarter than me. He's maybe doing it a little bit longer than me, but the only difference is he's made different decisions. So I was like, it's like, you know, if you think about his all same ingredients, he just has, you know, a wedding seven tiered wedding cake, and I got an easy bake oven cake, right? It's, it's sugar, butter, flour, like all the same things. Why couldn't I do that? For the next year or two, I made all of my decisions based on what would the $10 million business owner do? What would the seven-figure business owner do in this situation? So in that way, that's how I just went through and made decisions. And I didn't like making some of those decisions. So it was like, would a seven-figure business owner invest here or not? Yeah, they probably would. Would they hire someone and go through that? Yeah, they probably would. Would they outsource? Would they trust someone with this? Yeah, they probably would. Would they step into leadership here and have the conversation? Yeah, they probably would. And so I had to sort of project all of these things that I wasn't comfortable doing yet. But realizing that that next version of me would do that. And so I just made the decision based on that. And of course, you know, like, within a year, we were at seven figures and in scaling sense. So it works.

Lesley Logan 31:26

Thank you for sharing that. Because that is I think it's really easy for people go, oh, they can do it. I can't do it. Like it's easier for them. And, and I love that you sat there like no, actually, we just made different decisions. Because I have, we all have the same ingredients. And so that's it's been it's been really, it's been really fun to watch. I've also benefited from, from your amazing education information, like Brad and I still like use everything that you've taught us in our business. And we almost hit seven figures last year, like so close, so close, which is, it's just amazing to be able to say that, especially with what has been going on the last four years, it's even now how we can grow our business is very different than 2020, it was much easier, we'll say it felt easier. Anyways, even though it was like scared to death. Okay, so, ladies, what are you most excited about right now, because I feel like you, you both have the best life that you get to do together, but you have these other projects that you're doing apart. And first of all, it takes a really great communicative relationship to like be able to keep coming together. I feel like it would've been really easy for you guys to have quit your your co-projects several times. So what are you most excited about right now?

Danny-J Johnson 32:37

I actually want to touch on that. Because we have we've had, of course over the years, you know, people who want to do business coaching and or who we have business coach and who want to do a podcast and we've had, and even an episode on people who've asked us should I have a podcast partner? And both Jill and I have answered this no. Which is hilarious, because it's been such an amazing thing for us. But I think we know that what we have is really unique. But we're also very open in like Jill has her, her brand and her business, I have mine. And we have also chosen to make this work. And it's not easy. It's not easy to make two schedules come together. It's not easy to like I don't live in L.A. anymore. There's a lot of changes that have happened in both of our businesses and our personal lives and, and sometimes when you work with a partner and I had a business partner when I started this Sweaty Betties, and I was really excited about the brand. And I had a big vision for where I wanted to go. And she was not on board with that. And then she went through some personal stuff and it fell apart. And that broke my heart. And that was one thing that I remember thinking I never want to go in business with anyone again. And so this has been a really conscious, for lack of a better word, like conscious relationship, Jill and I had. And just having the communication of going. And one thing that's great about our partnership in this is we pick up the slack when the other person has something going on, you know, and we've, we've also been really flexible with how The Best Life looks. We've gone, like, we don't always have to be on the same episode. We can have solo episodes, we can have one person interviewing and the other person not show up. And so that flexibility has allowed us to be consistent because the hardest thing and you I'm sure you've seen this with podcasting is consistency, to show up every week and to publish every week is really freaking hard, especially when it's not like openly making money or there's not a direct payoff. It takes a long time and it takes a lot of momentum to get going. So it's funny that we say not to have a partner when we I think we have probably one of the most ideal partnerships when it comes to working together. But to be honest, what I'm most excited about is just the fact that I'm fucking excited about anything again. I had a really rough couple of years. My mom passed away and then I went through some robberies and I really like got stuck in an interesting place. I would honestly say a lot of it was PTSD. And I, I recently started some ketamine therapy about two months ago. And I got on with a, I did like this integration session, which I didn't expect anything out of honestly, I've done a ton of therapy, I have a lot of different therapists. And so this was some lady that I don't know what her qualifications were. And I was kind of just rolling my eyes. But she made an interesting reflection back to me, when I was sharing about some things. And I, she said, I was in a deep freeze in there's fight, flight or freeze, right? When you go through, you know, different things. And I was like, yes, it felt like the most real thing she said, because I was really struggling with feeling stuck. And I've always been a person who can take action to do something. And yet, I felt like I couldn't move. Like I couldn't make decisions. I couldn't, I didn't have any thoughts in my fucking brain. And it was really, really upsetting to me, because the person who I know myself to be would do something, and yet, I felt like I couldn't do anything. And I was very, very stuck. And so I feel like I've been moving out of that taking baby steps, finally, feeling like I have some momentum. And so there's not anything in particular I'm excited about, I'm just like, excited that I feel like I have some momentum again. I'm definitely excited about the documentary, but I am kind of tampering my expectations on that. It's just something on the side. But I have been learning a lot the last couple of years, you know, working with different people on the back end. And so I've been really proud of myself on what I've learned and what I've built some where I haven't been as front-facing. And so yeah, I'm just excited. I'm excited to be excited again.

Lesley Logan 36:40

I think that's that's actually a really cool thing to be xcited about, you know, so thank you for sharing that. I think a lot of people put pressure on themselves to be excited about one particular thing. So that's really cool. I have a girlfriend, who's an incredible doctor, who does ketamine therapies, and it is incredible what can happen. I'm glad you went with someone, I had a friend who tried to do it on her own. Don't do it on your own guys. With facilitator. Jill, what about you?

Jill Coleman 37:06

So one of the things I'm excited about. So I know this is a little bit counterintuitive, but most of the stuff that I do talk about and that I'm excited about is the business stuff, especially at the leadership, I remember going to look at business owners who have like 10 people on their team. And I'm like, that's the worst. Like, I want to just go to Australia for a month and no one bother me and do all these meetings on my schedule. And of course, then I decided to scale. And now we have nine-person team. But I really gotten excited about stepping into that role. I think for a long time, I really loved being a solopreneur and being able to go from idea to implementation in like a couple of hours. And you know, we can still do that to a certain degree. But, you know, I have someone who's like, the head of operations in the company is like, hey, I need this thing. And I'm like, what are you talking about? That's in two weeks, like, what, what, like, I used to just do that right before I would do it. So it's definitely forcing me to step up as a leader. And when it comes to entrepreneurship, I know that a lot of people are like, it's so crazy, it's so chaotic, you never know what's gonna happen, or like, they feel like it's really risky. I've never been someone who has taken a lot of risks, to be honest. Like, even when I left my corporate job, I still pretty much was able to, like, just replace what I was making in person with my online business. So I was never that person who's like, I want to sleep on my friend's couch for six months, while I'm getting it. Like I've never been that person, I was like, I need to have cash on the side, I need to have plenty of, you know, savings and stuff like that. But one of the things I'm really excited about is we've just been talking about (inaudible) the business, if we really want to scale, right, like if we want to scale, for example, James went from 2 million to 10 million in a year. And I'm like how, though, like, how did that even happen, like logistically? And I don't think that it's possible to think your way to that level of scale. I think you have to input something different. And this is where the person development side of business comes in. Who am I showing up as? Right? Like, what am i What's the block that we were talking before we turn on the mic about the big leap? I think one of the big things that I'm sort of going through personally is just like what does the next version of Jill look like? Because the next version of Jill, the JillFit will just be the effect of that it will just be the result of me stepping into a new level of leadership. And so that's really what I'm focused on this year is like, what does that look like? And I might have to get uncomfortable again, one of the things that I love that Brendon Burchard says he says some success is the biggest deterrent to more success. So I think it's really easy. When you have a level of success, you're like I'm good here. It's harder to be like, why would I want to get uncomfortable again? And so I think for me, it's not going to be a logistical like okay, just more ad spend, a little more ad spend. But it can't just be that it's going to have to be a massive, you know, ego death, it's going to have to be a massive shift. And so that's really what I think I'm sort of up against and I've been a little bit reluctant to go there. But I think that's the only way that we sort of that I can get to the next level of business. It's not going to be about more ad spend doing the same thing, just doing it more it's going to be a completely different version.

Lesley Logan 39:57

Yeah, I understand that. I was realizing I wasn't loving, like, the business has grown but where I was in this little leader and Brad's the CEO of our company, but like, as the visionary person, I wasn't actually spending a lot of time in the vision of the future. And so I was feeling very stuck. And I was looking at my schedule it's like, well, of course, I'm stuck. I'm working with the schedule that I had with the business that we had. And we've grown it and I, this schedule has to change. And so I was calling it my dream schedule. And my, one of the coaches we've worked with, Corinne, was like, so you believe dreams come true. And so you can call it a dream schedule, because you believe dreams come true. But if your team doesn't believe that, then they might think this is something far off in the future. So you might want to change the word. So I said, this is my intentional schedule, and I expect it to be in place as soon as possible. And it completely shifted how they implemented it. And it's been really exhausting. I feel like every team meeting is about my schedule, it starts to feel like a little narcissistic. But the thing is, is that if my schedule can't allow me to step into the person I have to be as the leader, then I can't change the business. I can't, it's not. And I know it sounds so like simple as like, let's say the schedule, but it's true. It's like how I spend my time will affect the business. And so it has to be that so we're, I'm in a similar ego death, and it's the most uncomfortable. It's not fun. I just like sometimes I'm like, maybe I should just go back to teaching. Okay, I really would love to talk to girls forever. And I wish we could have a Vegas party. Brad was like, I have to sell this. I said, oh, I have an interview with Brad and Danny-J tomorrow, he's like, oh, are they coming over? And I was like, I was like, babe, I was like, we don't really do in-person podcasts, so no, but I guess they could have if they both were here. He was a little disappointed that you weren't coming to the house. So we're gonna take a brief break and then find out where people can find you, follow you and work with you.

Lesley Logan 39:57

All right, ladies, where can they listen to The Best Life? Where can they follow each of you?

Danny-J Johnson 41:46

Oh, my gosh, best life. They go to thebestlifepodcast.com all our episodes are there, of course on all of the platforms, Spotify, and on iTunes and I don't know where else you would listen to podcasts. But wherever else you would. I'm sure we're there and Instagram @thebestlifepodcast and then personally, I am @dannyjdotcom, on Instagram, that's probably the best way to find me, it's D-A-N-N-Y (like a boy) -J-D-O-T-C-O-M.

Jill Coleman 42:10

Yeah, and so same thing, The Best Life podcast, on Instagram, I will say like, we do me Monday. So if you guys love memes, they're always relatable. Make sure you're following The Best Life podcast then on Instagram I'm JillFit and then just jillfit.com, JillFit in all the places.

Lesley Logan 42:25

Okay. Y'all go follow, I promise you I love, I love both. All of your personal Instagrams and The Best Life brings me so much joy. Okay, so bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. This is those inspirational but the actionable things people can do. What do you have for us?

Danny-J Johnson 42:46

Go ahead, Jill.

Jill Coleman 42:47

Oh, I gotta go first this time. Yeah, so actually, I mean, if people are really into this, and I'm sure you've mentioned this before, but the as-if principle for sure. Like that's like, that really is my Bible. Because here's the deal. And you know, this, if you listen to this podcast with Lesley, you get it that there's going to be a gap between where you feel comfortable and where you know, you need to go. And I'm a very, like, logical person. So for me, I'm always just like, okay, what's the what's the action item here? What's the way that I can sort of step into that new version of myself, even when I'm still scared? And really picturing so for me, it's Oprah like that, just like I always go, like, what would Oprah do, like, so think about the person that either you want to become or the person you look up to who has the, the quote-unquote, success that you want, and really sort of filter your decisions through what you believe that they would do. And so for me, that's made all of the difference. So that actually closes the gap. And sometimes I'll make a decision and like, run away into a corner, like hide, because I'm like, Oh, God, I just said I was going to do that. But I put myself on the hook. And what happens when you put yourself on the hook to do things that are scary, is you watch yourself actually do them and go through the scariest part, and then you get through it. And then you have now a show of evidence that you can do hard things, and it boosts your self-efficacy. And then you can do more hard things because you have a show of evidence that you got through and you survived. And so I think there's something really important about people he's talking about get out of your comfort zone. It's like, cool, but how. And to me, this has been a very tactical step and a very tactical way to look at like, how do you get out of your comfort zone? If you want a different reality, right, you need to change to change. And so for me, that's been so simple, not always easy, by the way. But especially in business, I would say this is the easiest thing. You know, when it comes to health and fitness. I think we if we try to do it in health and fitness, it's like, what would that fit person do? They'd go to the gym. And I'm like, yeah, it doesn't have the same excitement to me. I'm like, yeah, I know. I know they would but like, but in business, you have to figure out like, where do you want to go? And for me, like that's the vision is like, I really want to step into leadership, not because I, for me, part of the reason of scaling the business was because I wanted a new skill set like I was I've been doing this thing for a long time. And so I think if you truly want that next level version, you can't just wish and hope and think and dream and make the vision board, you got to actually take inspired action. And so this has been a very simple way for me to do that.

Lesley Logan 45:46

Yeah, that's good.

Danny-J Johnson 45:11

I don't really have anything to add, except I want to just kind of tack this on to everything Joe said, and something you guys both mentioned was the ego death, I think when we are attached to who we were, or to how people are used to seeing us, like you had asked early on, were you scared when we had an evolution are we afraid that people are going to, you know, pull us back into that box or get mad that we've changed, you gotta let go of that on yourself, right, you're beating yourself up for wanting to change or be different, you have to be different. So that as-if principle is beautiful, like, who would the person be, and that person might be someone else who's not who you are right now. And you have to be able to let go of who you are to become the person you want to be. So that ego death is big, and it can be painful, and it can be scary. But in order to be different, you have to be different. And you got to let go. So kill your ego and kill the old version of yourself. So you can be the person you're meant to be or you want.

Jill Coleman 46:05

You also need to like own it, too, you know, Danny and, like, shared on the podcast that, you know, it's humbling to share that you're the person who you love the most in the world cheated on you. Like, that's very humbling. But in order for us to be able to talk about that publicly, we had to be, get right with it. Right, we had to get right with it. Because then we're not available for the peanut gallery. We're not available for people to say, well, did you work on it enough like and just everything that people want to say. And it's like, we got it. So I think there is a lot of personal development that has to happen. If you do want to shift because you go, I'm actually good. And I'm also good with this next version. And so you own it, and then you can step into it a lot easier. Does that make sense? So like, you know, for us, I wasn't going to talk about my husband's affair until I knew what the fuck, I thought about it, you know, and so I think I see people online, maybe sharing too soon, or maybe just sharing for likes or attention or whatever. I think that if you're ready to take on that new version of you, you have to get right with it first, if you're constantly having to justify your choices to other people, person who needs the most justification is you, like you're still not on board with it. And so I think stepping into that next level, you have to be okay, like Danny said, just shedding that previous version. And people online may see you as that person still. And you gotta be like, cool, bye.

Lesley Logan 47:23

Yeah, thank you both for saying that. Tiffany Haddish wrote in her book, because she does a lot of comedy about her life. And she did a joke about her mom, and somebody heckled at her said something it was on stage. And she felt like, anger, sadness, some seven, she realized she's like, I'm not right with that yet. So anything I talk about on stage, I better be right with otherwise, the peanut gallery is gonna get me. And if I'm right with it, it doesn't really matter what they say. Because, like, they don't matter to me, right? And so yeah, it's, it's, it's a very interesting thing. It's hard to do. I remember, you know, when I was homeless and year, well, it's not 11 years, it's kind of crazy. I don't want to tell anybody that was like couchsurfing. And tell. I got to figure out like, what I was going through, what I needed to do, what I need to change. And now when I talk about it, it's like, it doesn't matter if anyone were to say anything. It's like, look, that was one of the things my life came from was the best thing that ever happened for me. But at the time, if anyone had said anything to me, I would have probably ran back to my ex. Because he did say I could live there. And I was like, I'm not living there. So I've had to keep it private, so that I could protect myself in that transition that transformation. Ladies, I fucking love you both so much. You bring me so much joy. I think about you a ton and the true Aquarius I am I think about you in my head and don't always tell you, so just know you are on my heart and my mind often. Thank you so much for being here. Everyone, please make sure you follow Jill and Danny and The Best Life. Take a listen wherever you listen to this podcast and share this with a friend, share with a friend who needs to hear it. You know, that is one of the best ways we can help people it's just like giving them that little nudge of the thing that they were talking about. We could be the ad based on the conversation you're already having. So give that give that a share. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Lesley Logan 49:09

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day.

Lesley Logan 49:38

Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 49:53

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 49:58

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 50:03

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 50:10

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 50:13

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

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