670. Radiate Inner Glow With Love and Self Respect

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46:06

In this raw and honest episode, Inner Glow Coach Angie Hawkins joins the pod to share why changing your environment won’t fix what’s going on inside, and how to love yourself without chasing approval. After moving 4,000 miles to Hawaii and realizing her struggles followed her, Angie hit a rock bottom moment that led to an intentional overdose, and a life-changing wake-up call. She shares how she rebuilt from that place by setting healthy boundaries, questioning old beliefs, and finally choosing herself.


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In this episode you will learn about:

  • Understand why life is like running in slippers.
  • Why you cannot outrun your internal problems.
  • How healing requires making a firm commitment.
  • How to love yourself by creating your own life rules
  • How to set and enforce healthy boundaries with others.


Episode References/Links:


Guest Bio:

Angie Hawkins is an Inner Glow Coach who transforms high-achieving, spiritual women from chasing love and approval to radiating fierce confidence so they can finally feel happy, free, and loved for who they are. She works with women who’ve done therapy, read the books, tried the spiritual path, but still feel like something’s missing. Through deep inner work and identity transformation, she helps them break the cycle of not feeling “enough,” so they can experience real love, confidence, and peace without having to change who they are. 


She is the author of Running in Slippers, a raw and vulnerable memoir about finding resilience after emotional rock bottom. Angie has moved from Chicago to Hawaii on her own, jumped out of a helicopter and into the ocean Navy SEAL-style, bungee jumped, skydived, and cliff jumped, yet is still terrified about allowing herself to be seen.

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Episode Transcript:

Angie Hawkins 0:00  

I was released from the hospital, and I called a friend, I told her everything that happened, and I ended with, I can't believe I didn't die. And her response was, it's not your time. And it was so profound that it sent a cold chill through my body.


Lesley Logan 0:16  

I have chills right in this moment. 


Angie Hawkins 0:18  

Yeah, and I in that moment, I was like, okay, I think I have a purpose. And I was determined to figure out what it was.


Lesley Logan 0:28  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.


Lesley Logan 1:11  

All right, Be It babe. When I met this woman, I knew I had to have her on because she she had, in her story you're gonna hear so much of you, and then you're going to hear her transformation, and it's what a lot of you are trying to be it till you see. I will say, in her journey, we do have, we do discuss a suicide attempt. If that is something that's going to activate you today, please honor yourself. It isn't, doesn't go into detail, but it's, it's a part of her journey. And I do think it is worthy to hear the whole journey of how she got to where she is, how she becomes the inner glow coach that she is, and also like how you can have inner glow in your life, and how that changes things. And she's just so authentic and so cool. And I'm really jazzed for you to hear this. So here's Angie Hawkins. 


Lesley Logan 1:57  

Hey, Be It babe. I'm really excited and ready for this conversation. Our guest today is Angie Hawkins, and I think you're gonna hear a lot of similarities in her story and her journey and what she's working on. If you have ever felt like you've done all the things and it's still not working, today's episode is for you. So Angie Hawkins, can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at?


Angie Hawkins 2:19  

Yes. Hi everyone. Thank you for having me, Lesley. I am an inner glow coach, and what that means is I help high achieving women stop chasing love and approval and everything outside of themselves, and actually radiate it from within, so they can finally feel happy, free and loved for who they are. And I am also the author of Running in Slippers, which is a raw and vulnerable memoir, that the whole point of the book, because it's very vulnerable, is to encourage connection through vulnerability, because that's how we truly connect as human beings. 


Lesley Logan 2:49  

I couldn't agree more. Also, if you're not watching this beautiful woman on our YouTube channel, are those fresh flowers in your hair? Where are you living right now that you get to have those beautiful flowers in your hair?


Angie Hawkins 3:01  

I live in Hawaii, so yes, I have fresh flowers in my earrings.


Lesley Logan 3:05  

Oh, my god, stop. Well, okay, so Running in Slippers, like, most like, I feel like there's a book like, Running in Heels, which already sounds terrible, Running in Slippers isn't easy to do either. Can we go into like, can we get vulnerable a little bit and talk about, like, how did that title come about? Like, what? What is the journey that you had to go on? Because I do think, by the way, if you're listening, we all get to go on a journey like that is the beautiful thing about this life. And sometimes I think we feel like, why is this happening to me? But there's something we get to learn from that. So can you, can we hear yours?


Angie Hawkins 3:36  

Yes, I love that. And first of all, I before I get into my whole story, which, honestly, the book Running in Slippers gets into all the details, because what I'm going to give you is just the high level cliff notes version. But I live in Hawaii, and we call flip flops, slippers, so it really means running in flip flops.


Lesley Logan 3:52  

Even harder, even more dangerous.


Angie Hawkins 3:55  

So, but the reason I titled the book that way is because it's a metaphor for life, because life, it can be fun, playful and adventurous, but it can also be difficult, painful and scary, just like running in flip flops. 


Lesley Logan 4:07  

Yeah, oh, that's so funny. Can you tell I'm totally not an island girl and I do call them slippers. And they can be, like, very childlike, like, you're running on the beach, like, it's really cool, and then you all of a sudden are running on a slippery sidewalk. And, yeah. 


Angie Hawkins 4:21  

Exactly. So, yeah. I think once people understand what it means, it's relatable. And if you do read the book, or anyone listening, if you do read the book, I explained that immediately in the introduction, so that people don't think I'm actually running in house slippers or like that just ruins the whole meeting. I think.


Lesley Logan 4:39  

I mean, well, you know what? Actually like I was picturing, like you going through something, just like being a girl in her house shoes like running, chasing a dream down.


Angie Hawkins 4:48  

I think there's so many metaphors, yeah.


Lesley Logan 4:51  

Awesome. Well, let's get into the Cliff Notes. I love it. 


Angie Hawkins 4:55  

Yes. So basically, like most people, my origin story starts in childhood. And I was raised in a household where the most succinct way to say it is that my both of my parents were extremely emotionally unavailable. And as an adult, I understand what that means, and I have the tools to process that and understand it. But as a little girl, I didn't have those tools, and the way I interpreted the situation is that I thought that I didn't deserve to be loved. So very early, early on in life, I developed this belief. And as most of us are aware, your beliefs dictate your behaviors, and then that dictates what you attract into your life. So needless to say I struggled for many years because I was a people pleaser. I was the one who was chasing love and approval outside of myself. I was the overachiever, because I thought to earn the love and respect and approval, I had to have a high position at work, or I ran marathons for a while, and that became my identity, like I had to get a good time. I was reaching for everything outside of myself, yet I still felt extremely unhappy and unfulfilled, and I was at a point in life where I honestly didn't even think that was available to me. I thought this is just how life was. I didn't think I was worthy of it. I thought it was just something that other people had. So if I was viewing someone else who was happy and fulfilled in their life, it just didn't even seem attainable for me. So even though I was very unhappy, I just kind of went along life, not really knowing what to do about it, like I would read self help books or, you know, do something like go to yoga, or have, like a spiritual practice or something, and that would provide short term a short term fix, but I didn't really have anything implemented for a long term change. And the first real turning point came in 2017, my boyfriend broke up with me, and then my dad passed away, and I was 37 years old, and I had spent 37 years avoiding my feelings, doing everything I could not to feel them, but I was in such profound grief that it was impossible not to feel my feelings, yet I didn't have the tools for emotional regulation. So the best way to say it was I felt like shit for most of that year because I was just sitting in these feelings that I didn't know what to do with. And 2018 came around, and I was probably like, in this New Year's resolution energy, and I decided that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. And I decided, like, I wanted to make some changes, and I wanted to be happy. I was living in Chicago at the time, and that's when I decided I wanted to move from Chicago to Hawaii.


Lesley Logan 7:49  

Major differences. Huge differences. 


Angie Hawkins 7:52  

Yes and I will say it was well intentioned, because I was actually taking agency over my life. I was doing something to make a change and be happier. It was not well intentioned, and that I was still reaching for something outside of myself to be the thing that made me feel better, because I wanted the change in location to be the thing that made me happy. And this will probably not come as a surprise, you cannot move away from your problems, so I moved 4000 miles away, and I still had the exact same issues. Not only that, I developed a whole new roster of problems. So, for example, in 2018 remote work was not the trendy thing to do, but I was very fortunate, because my job allowed me to move and keep my job. But at the exact same time that I moved there was this huge management shake up at work that threatened my role, and because I was in this victim mentality of like this is all that's available to me and like this happening to me. I for the first year that I lived here, I lived in constant fear of losing my job. I had a really hard time making friends when I first moved here, which was something I had never dealt with before. So struggling with making friends, being thousands of miles away from anyone I knew, felt extremely isolating. 


Lesley Logan 9:10  

Yeah, and you're in an island, so it's already isolated.


Angie Hawkins 9:13  

Exactly, exactly. So it's like I didn't have, you know, I just felt really lonely, basically. And the last major thing that happened when I moved here is like to prove how all in and committed I was to my decision. I bought a condo, but then a month after my condo closed, a shared pipe backflowed into my bathroom and I wasn't home, so my entire condo flooded. Yes. So this is all this is all right off the bat. So again, I'm expecting the change to be the thing that makes me feel better, and everything was falling apart. 


Lesley Logan 9:46  

And you're literally doing everything it says I got to go all in, got to burn the boat. You got to buy that condo without the pike being checked. Oh my god, and you haven't even hit Covid yet, shit. 


Angie Hawkins 9:58  

Well, that brings me to Covid because, so that was 2018 right? So, and I'm trying to be like I was totally emotionally bypassing my feelings. I'm like, It's fine, I got this, but I'm not even exaggerating when I say the next two years it was like thing after thing, like my grandma died, like there was always something, and because I didn't have that emotional foundation within myself, because everything outside of me was unraveling. I was unraveling, and then Covid happened. So I don't even have to explain how that exacerbated the situation, just, but the straw, the straw that broke the camel's back was the end of a relationship during Covid. And I just had this moment where, and I think we all have this. I still have these moments where it's like I can't take this anymore, but unfortunately, layered on top of that feeling was the sheer feeling of hopelessness, because nothing had been going well, and I truly could not see any hope for the future, and that is such a dangerous place to be, so I intentionally overdosed on my anxiety medication, and I spent a day and a half unconscious in my bathroom. I spent another day and a half in the hospital.


Lesley Logan 11:09  

Wait, no one knew you were in your bathroom?


Angie Hawkins 11:12  

No, I miraculously, I was blacked out. I miraculously texted a friend and she took me to the hospital. That's the only way I was transported. 


Lesley Logan 11:22  

Oh my god. What a story. Oh my god. Oh my god. You're like, this is crazy.


Angie Hawkins 11:28  

And then where I'll end is I was released from the hospital, and I called a friend, I told her everything that happened, and I ended with, I can't believe I didn't die. And her response was, it's not your time. And it was so profound that it sent a cold chill through my body. 


Lesley Logan 11:48  

I have chills right in this moment. 


Angie Hawkins 11:49  

Yeah and I in that moment, I was like, okay, I think I have a purpose. And I was determined to figure out what it was.


Lesley Logan 12:00  

Oh my gosh. I just want to say thank you for sharing your story. I'm so glad there was something in you that texted a friend, and I'm also glad that that friend wasn't on, like, Do Not Disturb like, I oh my god. I'm that friend. I'm the Do Not Disturb friend. I this. I would.


Angie Hawkins 12:14  

My phone's always on silent.


Lesley Logan 12:17  

I gotta figure this out. There's gotta be a bypass for people. But like, I It's so clear, not only is it not your time, but there was a part of you that was always trying to figure this out. I think in hearing your story like, there was this part of you that's like, I am, there is more for me out there, but like you so there's and I think we all have this. I think so many of my listeners who are here like they know there is more, and yet, when they try to do the more something happens. There's always a thing that happens, like, they make more money, and then a huge bill happens. They break up with the toxic relationship, and then this thing happens, and now they're alone. Like, I you know, there's a whole thing. It's like everything is in balance. Like, you get a good thing and you need a bad thing. But like, also sometimes we're just not ready. If you don't have the muscle for that, then it just feels like you're getting beat while you're down. 


Angie Hawkins 13:07  

Exactly. And I think we're saying the same thing, but I look at it as, for example, in my situation, my brain and my heart felt like they didn't want to be here, but my soul, or higher self, or whatever you want to call it, really did. So I think there's always this part of us, and we're all connected to our intuition or higher self, whether we're like, in tune to it or not, but there's always that part of us that's calling us to this higher purpose or something else, but then we have to deal with the realities of the real world. 


Lesley Logan 13:38  

Yeah. So you wake up in this hospital and you now, like, it's not your time, but like, you have to then get out of the hospital and and figure so how do you, how do you do that? Like, where do you start? Because, like, there's a million books, there's a million courses, there's 17 million charlatans, you could end up in a cult real easily, you know. So how did you, how did you figure it out?


Angie Hawkins 14:01  

Well, I don't know if this is lucky or unlucky, but because at the time this happened, I was 40 years old, and I had spent out of my 30s reading all the books, doing all the workshops, doing all of that stuff. But again, it had only provided like something short term. It really didn't give any meaningful long term change in my life. So fast forward to when, you know, my friend told me that, and I decided, like, okay, I need to get help, and I need to get help the right way. I decided to invest in myself and actually hire a coach, because it had been something I was thinking about. But when you're not fully committed to a decision, you're just kind of in this wishy-washy energy. And in addition to that, again, I was in the state of not really feeling worthy of investing in myself or putting in the time, energy or money. But when you're desperate like I was, because keep in mind, I felt worse than I did before I took the pills and yeah like, I can't explain what almost dying does to you, but there were several weeks where I had one foot on the other side of the veil, which was kind of a scary experience in its own so for several weeks, my only goal was to make it through the day. So I was so desperate for help, and I knew I had to get help the right way that like, the first thing I did was reach out to a coach. And again, this just happened to be luck, because in my I call it like from the time I got out of the hospital out I call that my healing in earnest journey, but my healing not in earnest. I had gone to this healing intensive, and I had met this coach, and he was actually a men's dating coach, but he doesn't teach, like pick up artists type stuff. He teaches men how to be the best versions of themselves so that they can attract the right partner. So we followed each other on Instagram. So all of his messaging, even though it was, like, geared toward men, it was about being the best version of yourself. So I had thought about reaching out to him before, but now that I was desperate, I'm like, I don't care if he's a men's dating coach, I'm reaching out to him. So I reached out to him. 


Lesley Logan 16:17  

You had trust in him, yeah. 


Angie Hawkins 16:17  

We talked, yeah, yeah. So I was very lucky that I had already made that connection with someone I trusted. Otherwise I would have been searching.


Lesley Logan 16:25  

Yeah, and like, at a time that, like, I again, there's, there was a party that was already seeking these things out, just those other, the other part of you that was like, like you said, not feeling worthy. And I, I hear this, you know, I just came back from an amazing retreat. And one of the women who came on it, she's like, yeah, I'm one of those people who kept going, oh, I'll do it next time, oh, you know when I have this, then I then I can sign up for it, or when I've done this, then I can sign up for it. And then she's like, fuck it. I'm, I'm worthy to go right now. I'm like, that. 


Angie Hawkins 16:54  

I love that. 


Lesley Logan 16:55  

That right there that makes me so happy. And also, you know, so many people, smart women, listening to this show right now will do that, that little negotiation, oh, when I do this, then I'll be and it's like, you're fucking worthy already. And this is no offense to the parents who are listening. Everyone is doing the best they can, but most of us, somewhere in life along the way, feel like we have to earn the worthiness that we were already born with. Yeah, yeah.


Angie Hawkins 17:21  

Yes, yeah. And that's where, like, the chasing something outside of yourself come from. 


Lesley Logan 17:24  

Yeah and then that's why you only get those quick little fixes, but it doesn't last. So you found this guy and he helped you, and then what, like, was it like, well, I've made it.


Angie Hawkins 17:36  

No, it was absolutely a process. I won't sugarcoat that part, because any lasting change is a process, right? But the value and the work that I did with him was, you know, I still have these limiting beliefs, like I'm not worthy, I don't deserve to be loved, blah, blah, blah, but he helped me change my behaviors so that eventually, because if when I started setting healthy boundaries, when I started trusting myself, when I started implementing all the things that we talked about, like over time, that actually changed my beliefs. And so now I do believe I deserve to be loved. I do respect myself, I do trust myself, but that all came like through this process of working with a coach, and that's what ultimately led me, because I was in corporate America for over 20 years, but in stepping into my authentic self and realizing what I want in life, what makes me happy and fulfilled, I realized corporate America was not it, and I also realized that there are so many other women who are now struggling in the same way that I used to struggle. So I was like, I want to help them. So I quit corporate America and became an inner glow coach.


Lesley Logan 18:44  

I love this. I also love that it's inner glow, like, it's just like, because it's, you know, we we are, most of us are seeking outside of ourselves to change the inside of ourselves. And you just said something about, like, your limiting beliefs, and once you change your beliefs, it's true. Like, we think, okay, well, first of all, this environment, it's not clean. So because this room isn't clean, I can't do the things that I said I was going to do. And then when you don't do the things you said you're gonna do, you don't have confidence. Because that's just, by the way, how confidence works, right? Like, confidence works by doing the thing you said you're gonna do. And so, but then we're like, but we think it's this outside stuff, oh, I gotta make sure that, like, this is just right, or that's just the lighting is just right, but really it's the belief system that we have that affects everything. So can we, do you mind if we go there? Like, can we talk about that? Because, like, if you're someone who typically, you see a people pleaser, and who you know was also, as you mentioned, like, nervous, like, nervous about, like, losing your job. Like, I imagine that the belief systems you had were then causing you to, like, run around and be everything to everybody, and then you have to change the belief systems to be like, nope, not doing that. Like, what's the process? How do you do that?


Angie Hawkins 19:52  

I mean, it's a whole process, but the whole, and this is what my coaching program is based on, but the overall concept is, we're all born with this light inside of us, but then as we go about life, there's family systems, there's society systems, there's corporate America systems, there's all these systems that if you really think about it, they're just arbitrary rules that someone made up along the way, and we're just blindly following them so we become disconnected from ourselves, and it dims our light. And for example, because I used to be a people pleaser, I would not even question, like, if someone invited me to do something or asked me to do something, I wouldn't even question, like, what do I want to do? What makes me happy and fulfilled? So it's not about and I and this is why I think I struggled with self help when I was healing in my 30s and reaching for things outside of myself, because a lot of it is geared toward fixing yourself or changing something about yourself, but really it's about coming back home to who you are and basing your life off of that. Because when you stop giving your power away to all these external things, you've really stopped caring. Because when you're concerned about, am I living in integrity? Am I happy with who I am as a person? Am I happy with my decisions? You stop caring about what other people think about it.


Lesley Logan 21:13  

That is so true. That is so true, and so many I was just doing a call with some of the people that I, that I teach today, and, you know, I could tell the question was a very valid question, but I was like, so people, some people like you, if you do it the authentic, the way that's authentic to you, that's also okay, like, they're allowed to go, I don't like that. And it doesn't mean that you're not a great person, you're not a great teacher, but we are so conditioned to be liked, if you're liked, then you did something right?


Angie Hawkins 21:45  

Yes. And I actually have the opposite viewpoint now, because I totally used to be like that. I wanted everyone to like me, and if someone didn't, then I would like chase after their approval. But now, now I really don't care. And that doesn't mean I don't care about the other person. It's just, it just means that I respect their free will, like, I'm not for everybody, and that's okay, like they have other people that they choose to surround themselves with, and that's okay. I respect who they are as a person, but you have to be like, so grounded in who you are as a person to even get to that point. 


Lesley Logan 22:17  

Yeah, and that's the hard part, because also, if you're so used to trying to anchor in the outside world of who you are, then coming home to yourself, it's gonna feel unfamiliar. And people don't like change, right, like. 


Angie Hawkins 22:34  

Yeah and I think that's why a lot of people resist change, because a huge part in my healing and earnest journey was finding who I was, which was a huge identity shift, because I didn't even know who I was, because I had spent most of my life conforming to all these things outside of myself, and it is very scary. So I was able to see why I had resisted it for so long.


Lesley Logan 22:57  

Yeah. I mean, it makes me think of like that Runaway Bride, where she like, doesn't, she takes her eggs, you know, and then at the end, she just, you're like, ordering eggs all the different ways so she can figure it out. Because it's like, it is kind of like, well, how do you know you're home? Like, how do you know that you're not, like, conforming again, just another way, you know, that's, can you see, like, where my anxiety will go?


Angie Hawkins 23:18  

Well, no. Like, one of the first things that my coach worked with me on, and this is one of the first things I work with my clients on, is creating your own rules for life. So you create these value statements, and it's like any decision you make, you just kind of go down the list. Am I doing this? This, this? Then, yep, then I'm good to go. So once you have your own rules for life, it doesn't matter. I mean, as long as you're not breaking the law or anything, which. 


Lesley Logan 23:43  

Yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, like, and that's true, like, you're not hurting people, there are rules for your life that affect only you. And I actually love this because, you know, people like, we coach Pilates instructors on their business. And someone's like, why should I do this? And I'm like, what are your values for your business? Does it go through those? And so it makes sense to have rules for life that's just very much a value system of how you want and it's like, does this, you know, does this? Like, I will do things that light me up. I will do things after 9am because I no longer get up early for people like, oh, this person wants to meet at 9am well, then that is a no, yeah.


Angie Hawkins 24:20  

Well, it's hard to do, but once you have that system in place, life is so much easier, because that's another thing. I used to feel like life was such a struggle, but it was because I was making that way for myself.


Lesley Logan 24:32  

Yeah, yeah. I think we all, I think a lot of us are doing that. So I guess like, so since you were, can we go back to it like, when you're a people pleaser like that look like, just like being a yes person for whatever people are saying. How do you now respond to people asking things of you, or the like, if you know what I mean, like, what is some what is a way that you're now responding in life to not being a people pleaser and owning things for yourself and owning like the way you want to live?


Angie Hawkins 24:58  

Yeah? Yeah, I guess it's different for different situations, but because I think I swayed too far, because I first started implementing boundaries when I worked in corporate America, and at first I would just be like, nope, not doing that, nope, but which no it well.


Lesley Logan 25:16  

Angie used to do everything, now she does nothing.


Angie Hawkins 25:19  

And no, is a complete sentence, but you do have to take into consideration the circumstance, especially if it's like work for family and friends. But usually I'll just simply explain, like, for example, something that comes up frequently is that people will ask me to have a call on the weekend, and that's just the boundary that I have. I don't do calls on the weekends. I will rearrange any time during my week, like, to some extent, but I just like, that's my personal time where I recharge is the weekend. So if someone is like, I just had someone this week, well, can you do a call on a Saturday? And I was like, no, I'm sorry I don't do calls on the weekends. It was no problem. She's like, oh, sure. I'll find another time during the week. So it's, it seems scary to do, but in most cases, it's not a problem. Now, if she would have said, like, there's absolutely no other time during the week for the foreseeable future, I might have considered it. So it's still not a strict no, but I do protect my energy as much as possible.


Lesley Logan 26:18  

Yeah, well, and I, but I love the way you phrased it, because you're also educating the person that it's like, instead of saying, like, some people would go, like, like, you do it this one Saturday, but like, that isn't setting a boundary. It's actually like letting them think that that's a thing. And instead, you're like, oh, I don't do calls on the weekends. That is actually like letting people, letting the person know, like, it's not a, no, I don't like you. It's just a you're asking for a time that's not available and isn't available. You know? So, and I think that you know a lot of people who struggle with being liked, feeling worthy, the people pleasing there's, it's, it's such a simple sentence, once you are have arrived, and like knowing that you're worthy, and it's so difficult, because it's like, you just say that. You just say no, I don't do calls on the weekends. It's like, give it a try, you know. But it's hard. It's hard for people. 


Angie Hawkins 27:06  

It is hard. But the funny thing is, it really is that easy, because, like, the first few times I had to say no, because I used to be I used to have zero boundaries, like I couldn't even if someone invited me to do something. I couldn't even say no to that. But when I first started using the word no, like, no, I'm sorry, I need to rest this weekend or whatever, and then they were like, okay, that's fine, because it's very rare that you have people push back. And honestly, the people that do push back on your boundaries are the kind of people you don't want in your life anyway. 


Lesley Logan 27:36  

Yeah, so that becomes a (inaudible) sign.


Angie Hawkins 27:39  

And it becomes very apparent, very fast, and that's actually helpful information for you. So boundaries are so powerful in so many ways.


Lesley Logan 27:48  

I do it's really interesting, because some people are like, oh, you're so rigid. I'm like, I'm I'm not rigid. Actually, I just don't, just don't do things on your timeline. I do things on my timeline, and that's okay, because I also don't have expectations that you do things on my timeline, you know, like, but there is a Venn diagram where our timelines will align if it's meant to be together, you know.


Angie Hawkins 28:11  

But you probably also have a lot of people who respect how self-respecting you are of yourself, because I got to the point where this happened a lot at work, people would compliment me on my boundaries. And I was like, me, like someone who used to not have boundaries? So a lot of people will actually respect you for having boundaries.


Lesley Logan 28:29  

They totally do, and also like and if they don't, or they're upset about like, I'm like, oh, why is this person getting so upset about the fact that I just I cannot do a call before 9am because you want to know what I'm going to forget it's there, because I don't have to work before 9am so if on a day I have to work before 9am there are three people reminding me that I've got a call at eight because I'll just go, yeah, yeah, you told me. You told me, and it's like good to do. So, like, it's more out of like, my habit is I don't so then I don't have to remember anything extra. But I do, I do, I do think that these things reveal things about people. And it reveals, like, are we gonna work together? Well, you know, like, and I, I do. I do hope people respect my respect that I have so much, such good, grounded boundaries and and also, like, it's because I used to, like you, always have none. And I used to chase, like, if anyone would invite me, I would just go, okay, I'm coming over. Yeah, I'm spending the night. How many nights I'll stay? I'll stay all the nights you want. Like, I wouldn't go home for like, a week. My parents were just like, okay, you know, because, like, I was having so much fun, but also, like, I wasn't actually doing anything for me. I was doing whatever we wanted to do it there, you know. So I all the way until when I got a job. Oh my gosh, Angie, I would get every job I had that was not for myself, I would just keep getting promoted, and I would just say, yes, that's like, the lack of boundaries. Like, okay, yeah, I'll take on that job that I have no idea how to do. No problem. I got it. I'll do it. And like, and you had to quit my job so they wouldn't promote me again, because I couldn't trust myself to turn it down because I needed the money. So it was like, I needed the money. The promotion came with a raise. And also, also, they're like, well, Lesley will always do 150% so she'll just do more than this is being paid for anyways, and, like, so I just, it took me a lot. It took me, like, literally having to quit my job. So I wouldn't say that.


Angie Hawkins 30:16  

Yeah, and that's why I got really disgruntled with corporate America, because it's, it's like a dysfunctional family, like they will promote the people who have zero boundaries, because they can take advantage of them, amongst other things. 


Lesley Logan 30:29  

Yes, and I also don't even think it's a conscious decision. They're just like, oh, this person does so much. Why wouldn't we want them to do more? So okay, but we do have a lot of people who don't get to quit their job and become an inner glow coach. So like, if, if people want to work on their inner glow, but then have to, like, work within corporate America. Like, is there hope for them? Can they do it?


Angie Hawkins 30:50  

I think it depends on the situation. Like, I wish I could say that I just, like, had so much courage and just, you know, wildly, went out on my own. But even after I had the idea that I wanted to quit and start my own business, I still had to have the universe kick me in the butt, because I was transferred to this team, and I basically had a bully as a manager, and it got so bad that I couldn't stand it. And I was like, okay, this is my sign to leave. I think if something is that toxic, your choices are limited, however, like I've been in other situations that were not that toxic, and I do think you can navigate them again, like by having strong boundaries is huge, but having a strong sense of yourself so that they're not taking advantage of you and walking all over you.


Lesley Logan 31:37  

Yeah, I think, like when you do have strong boundaries, you can recognize that in a company. So if you're like interviewing, you can start to recognize, like, the signs that their boundaries are, you know, that they're like, I had someone, I took a breath work course, and they said there are space makers and there are space takers, and nothing that neither is wrong. But can we all agree, space makers, that you can raise your hand first and space takers, if they ask more of you, it doesn't mean that they're assholes. You just have to say, no. 


Angie Hawkins 32:07  

Yeah and because sometimes it is unintentional. 


Lesley Logan 32:10  

Yeah, I do think so. I think they're just asking. Like, there are people who, like, are good questioners, like, I'm not that person, and they'll just ask. I'm like, oh my god, they just asked that person to write their bio, you know. But like, they're just asking, and, like, it requires other person to go, oh, I actually, I review bios, but I don't write them, you know. So, you know, like, yeah, we have to. I think where people struggle is that they they figure out their boundaries, and maybe you can help with this, they figure what their boundaries are, and then they have to reinforce them, because, unfortunately, there isn't like, like, a rules sheet when you enter this, like, when you enter a call with me, there's not like, here are all the rules I have, right? Like, the rules of engagement. That's not how life works. You're going to be out and about, you're going to run into people, you're gonna be at a grocery store, you're gonna be at a job interview. So, like, how do people like is, how did you navigate having to enforce your boundaries after you got, like, after the pendulum swung all the way and you're like, no, like, how did you like one in the middle to like, enforce boundaries without feeling like you're constantly enforcing your boundaries?


Angie Hawkins 33:11  

That's a really good question, because the hardest part of boundaries is not setting them, it's enforcing them, because there are people who will intentionally try to walk all over you and try to encroach your boundaries, but to your point earlier, people will unintentionally, like, you know, just try to inch up on them, and you have to be stern on enforcing them. And it could be, and again, it depends on the situation, but it could escalate to the point where it's like, I can no longer talk to you if you'll continue to disrespect my no, I mean that but with enforcing boundaries, not only do you have to state the consequence, you have to be willing to enforce the consequence if they do encroach your boundary again. So it can be difficult, and there have been people in my life that I've had to cut off communication with for that reason, but like in the long run, it makes my mental health so much better, because you don't have that person sucking up your energy anymore.


Lesley Logan 34:14  

Yeah, yeah, I agree. And also, thank God for technology, because it's so easy to block and bless you can block phone numbers, you can block emails. You can block socials. Like, you can also add them at the time, that's right. But like, you can protect your energy. 


Angie Hawkins 34:27  

Yeah, that's true. 


Lesley Logan 34:28  

I probably should ask you this earlier. But like, can we talk about what inner glow looks like? What it means, like, what is it like? You know, obviously, as we heard your journey, like, you know, obviously, pre the earnest time, maybe no inner glow, but like, what is, what does it mean when we have inner glow? Like, how do we know if we have it?


Angie Hawkins 34:47  

Well, so the reason I came up with the name Inner Glow is because when I truly started believing like that I loved myself, that I deserved to be loved, and I respected myself, and I believed that I deserve that from other people, it was truly a sensation of in my chest, like it felt like the sun was glowing, like it was like, maybe I can explain it as, like an energetic feeling from the inside out, yeah. But on top of that, I would have other people tell me, like, oh, you're glowing or some people would even just compliment my looks in that like, oh, you look so beautiful. Blah, blah, blah. But I think they were really talking about the reflection of my energy. So the inner glow is radiating in your own love and respect, so much that it's actually radiating to people outside of you. So not only do they see it, but they can be inspired by it, and it's this ripple effect, because I'm of the mindset that you're either contributing to the negative vibration of the universe, because there's plenty of that going on right now, or you're contributing to raising the vibration of the universe. So like this ripple effect even extends out to raising the vibration of the entire universe, because you're sending out, because there's so many things going on in this world right now that it's hard for us to impact on an individual level. But, even just sending that energy of love to certain areas of the world actually does make a difference.


Lesley Logan 36:11  

It really, you're, you're so I'm glad we're touching on this, because I think it is. It can even feel like, especially in the time that we're talking, it can feel like, well, what's the point? Like, everything is falling apart. So many people have less than me. I'm barely keeping alive. Most of my listeners at the time we're recording this guys, it's October 23rd 2025, and the you know if you're listening to the States, government shutdown. People are hearing that their health insurance can go up to 30,000 or 40,000 a year from nine and and like, you could be like, why should I have an inner glow? How do I even think about glowing when like, this is happening outside of my control, and people have less than and it's in you can almost feel like, what's the point? But you're, what you said it, the point is like the world needs more of us to raise the vibrations and affect, even if you affect the three people that are your neighbors and you show them so much love, it does. It does have a domino effect. It does have this like magnetism effect. I do believe that.


Angie Hawkins 37:11  

Yeah, and even if you don't think just being in your own positive light is changing the universe, you can actually just pick someone and send positive energy to that person. And trust me, it makes a difference in that person's life.


Lesley Logan 37:26  

It does. I love that, gosh, Angie, you're so cool. Like, what you're doing is so needed. And I think, like, especially because, you know, I've had, I've heard so many listeners going, I've done this, I've done this. I'm still stuck. I'm still struggling. And I, what I like, I'm gathering from this is like, it's all that outward stuff. It's not, it's not actually going to make the change. It has to be the inner glow. It has to be this inner vibration that you're changing. And that does take time, and it does take a lot of knowing of who you are. And that's a process.


Angie Hawkins 38:01  

yes, but it is 100% worth it, and I am proof of that. 


Lesley Logan 38:05  

And you're like, at this goal, you've got these gorgeous wallpaper that matches your plants in the background, like you're just glowing, so, well, we could talk forever, and we'll probably have to have another conversation in the future, but we're gonna take a brief break and then find out how people can find you, follow you, and work with you. 


Lesley Logan 38:22  

All right. Angie, the Inner Glow Coach, where do you hang out? Obviously, Hawaii. But Can people work with you online? Where should they go? What? What should they grab?


Angie Hawkins 38:30  

Yes, please visit my website. It is runninginslippers.com which is also the name of my book. So there's obviously information on where to buy the book. It's on paperback, Kindle and audiobook, and I do narrate the audio book, but there's also information on my coaching program. My current coaching program is called Shine From the Inside, and I do offer Free 60-Minute Find Your Glow sessions. So we will talk for an hour about whatever you're struggling with, and at the end, I will give recommendations for going forward, because you know, my, me and my coaching program are not for everyone, and I am okay with that. So if we're not a good fit, I know other coaches, I know therapists. I have other resources that I can refer you to. The entire goal of the call is to get you help, because again, I am confident that there are other women struggling in the same way I was, and you do not have to live that life that way. 


Lesley Logan 39:26  

Oh my god, an hour call and, you guys, take advantage, because, you know.


Angie Hawkins 39:31  

Everyone I've done a call with has a breakthrough on that call, because an hour is a long time. 


Lesley Logan 39:36  

Yeah, oh, you're so good. Okay, you have given us a lot already, but we do at the show like to have a little, not a too long didn't listen, but just like a little summary and like an actionable step we can take, because we are high performers who are listening to this podcast. So bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it, what do you have for us? 


Angie Hawkins 39:55  

Number one is to decide, because any meaningful change. Your life comes from a decision, and the reason that is is because if you're not committed, you're going to be in the squishy, washy energy. And that's where you hear people say stuff like, well, I tried and it's not working, or I'm trying, and if you're not committed to something, you're going to quit the second it gets hard, but when you're committed to your decision, then the only choice is to stay on that path and figure out if something isn't working, and then you'll figure out what does. So I know it sounds simplistic, but when you make a decision to do something, you're committed and all in and that's when the real change happens. That's when lasting change happens. Number two is to take action. And I know you talk about this a lot, so I won't dwell on that. But number three, which is in conjunction with taking action, is about your nervous system, because a lot of people think that confidence and courage is about not being afraid, and taking action is about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. So before you take action, you need to prime your nervous system. So an easy way to do that is to just like, sit up straight, breathe. Some people do the Superman pose. What I do if I'm doing something in public, I call it the goddess walk, or the celebrity walk. I will walk into a place like I own it, even if I'm like, a nervous wreck and falling apart on the inside, but it's priming your nervous system to feel the fear and do it anyway, and just overall, your nervous system regulation. Because I used to be the kind of person I would let anxiety and fear just absolutely take over me, but now I have the tools to actually feel safe in my own body while I'm feeling those feelings and knowing that they're not going to consume me and overwhelm me so nervous system regulation and feeling safe in your own body while you're feeling the fear and doing it anyway. 


Lesley Logan 41:50  

Oh my god, I'm obsessed. Okay, I have a fun story for you, and this will be a great way for people to have an example of that goddess walk. So in Cambodia, in our town, in our village, there's, there's a couple street lights now in the city, which is really annoying because I think it's causing more traffic. And people have now decided to have cars instead of motos. I don't know why you'd want to be in a car going 20 miles an hour when you could be in a moto going 25 but that's fine. At any rate, you just have to cross the street. Okay, so I don't know if you ever been to Southeast Asia, but you just have to cross the street. And these went. 


Lesley Logan 42:21  

I have been to Indonesia. 


Lesley Logan 42:22  

Correct. Okay, there, yes. So you have to cross the street and they and you can't, you cannot stop. If you stop, that's when you you fuck it all up, because now the bike was like expecting you to continue going, and they were gonna be right behind you, and now you stopped, and now they have to swerve, but then there's somebody behind so it becomes a domino effect. And when I first went to Cambodia, we were in Phnom Penh, and I saw this, she could have been seven years old, and she had a little kid who I don't know, barely walking in her hand. You guys, this was a five-lane wide on any American street, but probably, like 10-lane wide in Europe, because, like, you know how the streets are really wide in the States. Anyways, she put her hand up and just crossed the street with this little kid, and she just had her hand up, seven years old, and she just crossed. I saw the first time I was in Phnom Penh, I saw this, and I was like, look at that girl. Look at that confidence, right? But when we moved, it to Siem Reap, we do our time there. I channel that girl every time. So when I cross the street, I just throw my arms up and I just walk like it's my fucking street, and you can go around me. And so these women are like, okay, can we go, and I'm like, what we're gonna do is we're gonna open our arms and we're gonna walk and we're gonna own this place. And by the oh my god, by the end, Angie, everyone is just like going.


Angie Hawkins 43:37  

I love that story. I love that. That's a perfect example. 


Lesley Logan 43:41  

Walking. It's like, the Miss Congeniality, like I'm walking here, but like, like, hello, like, open, good vibes. And it's just so funny. And now to be home, and I'm like, oh, I'm just, I have to wait for the light. 


Angie Hawkins 43:53  

Or do you? Maybe you could do that here. 


Lesley Logan 43:59  

It's so fun. It's so fun. But I love that, because you do have to, you said it, I just want to reiterate, people who are you think are confident and courageous, are not without fear. They are truly they did a show. It's showtime. Pep talk, something they're shaking in the boot. You're not like behind the podium. They're all doing it, and you can I just, this is a great, great show, Angie, you're the best. Thank you for helping us find our inner glow. 


Lesley Logan 44:27  

You guys. How are you going to use these tips in your life? We want to know. Tag Angie. Tag the Be It Pod. Go get that phone call with her. My goodness, like you're gonna have breakthrough. Who wouldn't want to do that? And, oh, my god, I'm so jealous you're in Hawaii right now. It's got to feel like, like just you're on a beautiful island. Anyways, thank you so much for being our guest today, Angie and everyone, please share this with a friend who needs to hear it. Until next time, Be It Till You See It. 


Lesley Logan 44:50  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


Brad Crowell 45:32  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


Lesley Logan 45:37  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


Brad Crowell 45:42  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


Lesley Logan 45:49  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


Brad Crowell 45:52  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



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