681. Simple Ways To Handle Hurtful Comments With Grace

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08:22

In this FYF episode, Lesley Logan delivers a list of ready-made responses for the moments when family, friends, or strangers say something offensive, intrusive, or just plain uncomfortable. She also celebrates a community win from a new Mat Pilates teacher trainee, and shares her own win about protecting her Intellectual Property after discovering AI-generated theft of her images. With a grounded mantra to close, this episode is a reminder that setting boundaries is an act of self-respect.

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In this episode you will learn about:

  • How to respond when someone says something offensive in real time.
  • Lines to use when family pushes politics you don't want to discuss.
  • What to say when comments about your body won't stop.
  • Boundary scripts for unwanted dating, family, or finance questions.
  • How Lesley handled AI-generated theft of her images and brand.


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Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

It's Fuck Yeah Friday. 


Brad Crowell 0:01  

Fuck yeah. 


Lesley Logan 0:02  

Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 


Lesley Logan 0:48  

Hello, Be It babe. Welcome to your mid month of May. FYF, it's our third of five Fridays. So we have a lot of May, May celebrations, which means that you have five chances of May to find something to celebrate, something to send in, something to remind yourself you're doing a great job. You are and you're on your way to being it till you see it and you're doing yourself a great job. So this thing that inspired me that I'm sharing with you, okay, here's the deal. It is quite possible that I shared it last fall, and if I didn't, I fucked up, and I'm sharing it with you now, because it does say how to set boundaries of family this Thanksgiving, if they say something offensive, but honestly, like because this world continues to be in a shit hole, and people around me that I like thought agreed with me on a lot of things, sometimes say things and I'm like, whoa, that's fucking offensive. I thought maybe we need a reshare. So if you need a reminder of this, here's what it is. So if someone says something offensive, doesn't have to be Thanksgiving, it can just be around you. What an odd thing to say out loud. I feel uncomfortable with the statement you just made. I don't get it. Can you explain that one? Wow. I'm not sure how to respond. That was an unkind thing to say. That's an inside thought. And so I like those. I think these are great, like, it's like, you, at least, can respond, and it maybe makes them think, if it doesn't. So if it's politics you want to avoid, then you can say, this isn't a conversation I like to have right now. Or you can say, I have a lot of thoughts in the state of the country, but I'd rather share them another time. You can also say I won't be engaged in talk about politics if we can't stick to other topics, I'll take a break from the table. That one's a little more confrontational. I'm not willing to be badgered right now, so I'm going to walk away and do all of those things. Remember, we are the five, we are like the people we hang out with. If comments about food or your body won't stop. So this is important because I really do believe that like stop commenting on women's bodies. We just fucking need to. It makes me feel uncomfortable when you talk about my body. So I'm going to end this here. I'm really trying to have a better relationship with myself this year, I'm going to ask that you not comment on my looks. I'm listening to my body and what it craves right now, let's focus on something else, rather than my plate. I thought we were past talking about people's weight in 2025. So I think that that's, you know I know that can sound like, oh my god, I'm gonna make them uncomfortable. Yeah, they're making you feel uncomfortable. We have to get good at making people who make us feel uncomfortable feel uncomfortable too. If your relationship status family planning is the unwanted subject, honestly, I would love to chat with you about blank rather than my dating life. I like to keep that private right now, I might not be engaged, but I have blank going on that I'm happy to talk about, instead. Kids aren't in my equation right now, I'd rather work on expanding my family when I'm ready. So those are all and I think you can like, you can change those to like fit your situation. But I do think like giving them something else to bring up is also fine, but like letting people know I want to talk about that, it's all, boundaries are kind, and if they're commenting on your finances, well fuck them. But you can say, if you're trying to help, I could use some advice on blank otherwise I'm good. So give them a thing that you want to talk about. Rather than getting all this unsolicited advice. I'm doing my best in a stressful economy. I'm managing my finances well and making progress towards my goals. That's all you need to know. And then if the question just fills what's the last one? If the question feels personal, a little too personal, this isn't something I want to talk about right now. That's a sensitive topic for me, let's talk about something else. Actually, I've been wanting to ask you about blank how's that going? So that one, you know that one might be a little spicy, but I hope these help. Feel free to look at the transcripts of this podcast, copy and paste it, put in your notes, easy to text to people who ask uncomfortable things or say, I'm you know. You just pull it up like, you know, you'll get better at it. But it's important, we have to have these things at the ready, because sometimes we're like, oh my god, I don't know what to say and they just, like, said something awful. 


Lesley Logan 4:49  

Now for the wins. I, you know Be It babe, I got your back on these things. The win that I'm gonna share today is from CAGoodfellow, hi, Lesley. I've now started my class, Go Mat Pilates Teacher Training Course. I know this person, and this is a huge deal. So happy for you. I'm so happy for you. Give me a post on how it's going. 


Lesley Logan 5:10  

All right, my win, and then I'll get you a mantra and get you on your way. So I found out that someone used AI to steal my images and write a shitty book. And I was like, oh my god, this is, like, so annoying. It's gonna take so long. And the team went to action, and Amazon took the book down in like, no time at all. We put it up there, proved that it was ours, our images, and they took it down. And when telling people about this shitty thing, I found out that other people were using my images, which like, you think, oh my god, that's gonna be so terrible. Yeah, it sucks. It feels violating in weird ways. I mean, like, it feels weird to even use that word violating, because it's like, is it? But like, it it is. And people are like, oh, don't let this take up your amazing energy. Here's the deal. You have to protect your IP so it does have to take some energy. But I'm really proud of how I've been able to trust the team to find a new system and to put in place to to take care of this situation, and it not keep me up at night, but we are taking action, legal actions, where, where we can. But I didn't let it like derail the goals I had that week. I was like, okay, this is happening. What can we do? What are our steps? What's our first step of action and and then work on from that, I it's just really, it's really nice not to like, end up in a puddle of like, woe is me. Now I've got to do this, too. And in asking for help, I got to see how many of you are like, here to support the work that we're doing, and you understand what that means. And because of you, we're finding out the images that are being used that are like in hidden places a little harder, and I'm so grateful. So if you see images of me, they're not on my flash cards and they're not my posters, most likely I did not give them permission to use them, so just send it, and if I did, I'll let you know. 


Lesley Logan 6:56  

All right, your mantra is, each part of me is worthy of love, each part of me is worthy of love. Each part of you is worthy of love, Be It babe. Thanks so much for being here. Until next time, Be It Till You See It. 


Lesley Logan 7:13  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


Brad Crowell 7:55  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


Lesley Logan 8:00  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


Brad Crowell 8:05  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


Lesley Logan 8:12  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


Brad Crowell 8:15  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



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