473. New Perspectives That Empower High-Performing Women

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Brad Crowell and guest co-host Clare Solly reflect on insights from coach and advocate for high-performing women, Traci Peterson, in her interview about living without limiting labels. They share how to spot when you’re relying on outside validation, why community matters, and how establishing your values shapes your goals and relationships. Whether you’re a parent seeking real connections or a high achiever curious about personal growth, this conversation offers practical ways to Be It Till You See It.


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In this episode you will learn about:

  • Identifying when you rely on other people’s approval.
  • Shifting negative labels toward strengths and gifts.
  • Why setting firm boundaries and sharing values fuels growth.
  • Integrating self-reflection into daily routines and family life.
  • Breaking old patterns by trusting yourself over social pressures.
  • How “value checks” can transform relationships and personal goals.


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Episode Transcript:

Clare Solly 0:00  

Yes, I am X-Y-Z and if you need like A-B-C in your life, then we're on the wrong side of the alphabet. 


Lesley Logan 0:08  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.


Brad Crowell 0:52  

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap. Brad here again today with a very special guest stepping in for Lesley, we have Clare Solly. Yeah, welcome back, Clare. Clare is one of Lesley's best friends who has been both a guest on the pod, and she's actually hosted some of these recaps in the past. So those of you who have been listening for a long time, you probably know Clare. She's an author. She's an actor. She is Lesley's slingshot friend that goes all the way back to Episode 19. She lives in New York City, and she actually also you've been doing a whole lot of traveling this past year if I recall.


Clare Solly 1:24  

So much travel. Yeah, so much travel. I was so inspired. I think I've been to six countries this year, and then. 


Brad Crowell 1:30  

That's crazy. 


Clare Solly 1:31  

I'm actually in Connecticut right now I'm talking to you. 


Brad Crowell 1:33  

Okay, okay. I was wondering. I was like this doesn't feel like New York. Love it. Today we are going to dig into the validating convo that Lesley had with Traci Peterson in our last episode. If you have not yet listened to that, feel free, pause this, go back, take a listen. Traci is a rock star, and she's like a super cool mom, a very inflective inflection. She's looking back at her own life, analyzing it, and seeing how she can sow into her daughter differently, and I just thought that was epic. So yeah, that's worth a listen. Go back and listen to that, and then come back here to join us. But before we get into the convo with Traci, why don't you tell us about today? 


Clare Solly 2:11  

Today is January 16th and it is Natural, Natural? 


Brad Crowell 2:17  

Yeah. 


Clare Solly 2:18  

Natural and National Religious Freedom Day. National Religious Freedom Day is observed to promote the message of peace and acceptance. The day is to highlight the fact that everyone has a right to their own religious beliefs, and people can go worship however and whenever they want. And I thought this was actually very timely, because Traci talks about one of the first things she says, like right off the bat, is that you can celebrate whatever deity that supports you (inaudible) subscribes you and that's the word. 


Brad Crowell 2:48  

I think it's also important to remind ourselves that, while there are, it's probably safe to say the majority of the United States, they subscribe to Christianity in some form. I don't think that we remember that our country wasn't founded by. 


Clare Solly 3:07  

It was not. 


Brad Crowell 3:08  

By a bunch of Christians like the Pilgrims came over. They were definitely were trying to get away, and they were being persecuted, and they were Christian. The founding fathers, however, they had mix of religions, including Christianity, but also Quaker, Lutheran, Dutch Reformed and even Roman Catholic. And so when they were setting our country up, it was with this really important idea of religious freedom, and I think that's healthy for us to remind ourselves that different people believe different things, and that's okay. 


Clare Solly 3:39  

Yeah. Well and you mentioned in New York City, there's 72 different nations represented in this city, in my city, and that's fascinating. I can walk two, three blocks. It's like I'm traveling in a different country, because there are different things going on. And speaking of travel, aren't you guys traveling soon? 


Brad Crowell 3:56  

Yeah, that's right. We're actually going to be going to Cambodia here in just a few weeks, I'm so excited. I'm already getting everything ready. We've been making sure we've got the place situated. Our team is already prepping things. We're making sure that the grounds are good to go, and Lesley and I get there a few days early. So end of February, we've got a retreat at our retreat space in Cambodia, and it might feel like. 


Clare Solly 4:19  

Wish I could go.


Brad Crowell 4:20  

Well, you can, you still you can. You can. Hey and you, too, can join us. Yeah, believe it or not, you know, I know it's short notice, but there's still time if you're interested, to join us here in February. However, if that is like, clearly too soon, because it's all the way around the world and flying internationally can be challenging, join us in October. Okay? We're going to go back in October. It's going to be the middle of the month right now. There's an offer going on that you would never know about unless you were on the waitlist. So if you're not on the waitlist, just go to crowsnestretreats.com crowsnestretreats.com. Click on the October you'll see all the dates. You'll see everything that's going on there. If you have any questions about it, just reach out. It is a life changing experience. It's one of my favorite things to do. You've heard me talk about it for years on this podcast, and every single time I go, I still come back rejuvenated, just on fire to promote how epic it is over there, the people are beautiful. The food is incredible. The countryside is amazing. The temples of Angkor are, you know, it just makes me feel like a kid again every single time. It's amazing. The wonder, it's just insane. Well, we're still working hard on these accessories flash cards, right? So if y'all are familiar with the flash card decks that we put out for Pilates, to learn Pilates, the sixth one in the series is coming out. It's the accessories deck. It'll be coming out this summer. Back in November, we shot the, did all the photos back in LA and Lesley's been working super hard on the cards. In fact, she's really excited for us to be in Cambodia because we get to go a couple days early, and she literally is on the opposite side of the world from what our normal life. So no one interrupts her. She can take no phone calls, none of the things, and she always uses that time to sit down and just continue to really work on these cards. She's going to be writing and editing and doing all that kind of stuff. So if that's something that's interesting to you, go to opc.me/flashcardwaitlist flashcardwaitlist, and put yourself on the waitlist. We hook up the people on the waitlist. We don't ever announce publicly that we've got this epic presale offer that is going to happen, so only the people on the waitlist. So put yourself on there. 


Next up is, as you may recall, I've been hosting some webinars recently. I've got another one coming up. And if you are a fitness business owner or a Pilates studio owner or a home studio owner, or you're renting spaces studio, if you are working for yourself in some way, you want to come to this free webinar that I'm putting on. It's called the Pilates Studio Growth Accelerator. After coaching seven years, Lesley and I have been able to work with thousands of business owners just like you, and we boiled down three big secrets that are going to get you unstuck in your money. 


Clare Solly 6:56  

Secrets?


Brad Crowell 6:57  

Yeah, secrets. In your money, unstuck in your client growth. How do you manage a team? How do you change your messaging? How do you connect with these clients that you need to do in order to grow your business? These are the things that we are talking about, and I want you to come join us. So go to prfit.biz/accelerator. That's profit without the O, dot biz slash accelerator. It's a free webinar. So before we get into this convo with Traci Peterson, we had an audience question to respond to. And if you were here last week, you can laugh again, because the audience is Lesley. And Lesley was literally asking Clare a question. So Claire, what are you reading next?


Clare Solly 8:02  

This is a hysterical question. I'm a bookstagrammer, so I'm a book influencer. You can (inaudible).


Bookstagram. You know what I literally thought it was an entire platform called Bookstagram I was like, what? No, it's like a segment of Instagram.


It's a corner of, yeah, it's a corner of Instagram. It's a corner of Tiktok. If you look up the hashtag (inaudible). 


Brad Crowell 8:24  

Wait, it's TikTok? 


Clare Solly 8:24  

Yeah, it's on TikTok too. We'll talk about books all the time. So I'm, you won't be Solly, you can. We'll probably put that somewhere if you want to find it, if you want to go see what books I'm reading. So I read all kinds of different fiction. My favorites are like romcoms and fantasy. I love anything with a dragon, although it's funny, when we get to the new year, I'm always like, okay, I want to get some gritty so I usually read, like, a good biography, or I read something more nonfiction-wise, I'm a tiny bit of a self help junkie, so every once in a while, I'm like, what's the new self-help book? Brene Brown, what do you got for me? 


Brad Crowell 8:56  

Yeah, right? 


Clare Solly 8:57  

But one of these trips that I went on this summer was with my mom, and we were driving, and we saw these old time like 40 year old, 50 year old truck stop places. You know, the movie (inaudible)


Brad Crowell 9:08  

Americana. 


Clare Solly 9:09  

I'm totally Americana. So I'm sort of fascinated by all of this, and it's like percolating in the back of my brain to write something, whether it's a play or a book about these old time pull over by the side of the road and take a picture with the world's largest ball of twine. So I'm sort of.


Brad Crowell 9:29  

There's always these big ass chairs out there, like on the side of a freeway. Like, what are they doing?


Clare Solly 9:34  

Like, I went to Canada in May, and there was a giant moose statue, and of course, I had to take a picture with it. But like, why is there a giant moose just by the side of the road? 


Brad Crowell 9:44  

That's funny. 


Clare Solly 9:45  

I'm somewhat fascinated by these, like, old I don't know why I keep saying old timey, because they're not that old. But as a kid, we used to take roadtrips, and we would stop and like, the moccasin factory. So I'm doing some research, so to speak, on some of these old, older roadside attractions so (inaudible) maybe, maybe I think I'm envisioning more of a fictional story, like a generational grandpa made this thing, put his life fortune into it, and, like, run down and what do we do with it? You know, kind of. 


Brad Crowell 10:19  

Oh, that, you know, what's really interesting, that's a really clever idea. Because then it could be like, the young generation who doesn't give a shit about it, and he's like, what do I do with this thing? But then it could be that the younger person comes to appreciate it, you know? Or they could be like, fuck it. I'm moving to the city. 


Clare Solly 10:38  

Yeah. Well, I mean, and we're kind of all, like, we've kind of forgotten what this is. We've forgotten what these and some people don't even know what they are. 


Brad Crowell 10:46  

Yeah, they don't even know what it is. They drive by without even understanding. That's interesting. You know, I think there's, like, a really a lot there of digging into this idea of nostalgia, yeah. That's a cool that could be a really cool premise, Clare.


Clare Solly 11:03  

Yeah, well, and then passing things down to generations, what have we experienced, or what have our parents or grandparents experienced that we can pass down through generations? So I think that that's important. 


Brad Crowell 11:14  

That's cool, too, yeah, and the meaning, like how I had so much meaning to them, yeah. Well, very cool. I love that. I'm glad you shared that you are doing the Bookstagram, the book Tiktok, that one too, the book talk. Stick around, everybody. We'll be right back. We're going to dig into this amazing convo Lesley had with Traci Peterson. 


Alright, now let's talk about Traci Peterson. Traci is an international speaker, a board certified family nurse practitioner and founder of Elevate Wellness and Aesthetics. She is the creator of Women Lessons, a transformative program and podcast that empowers high-performing women and their daughters to overcome self-criticism, embrace their divine gifts and build unshakable confidence. She's a proud mother of three and Traci leads by example, inspiring others to break generational cycles of insecurity while living a purpose-driven life of faith, leadership and personal growth. It was a very refreshing convo. I really appreciated her mission. There was so much in there. What was one thing that you loved?  


Clare Solly 12:15  

One thing I said that she loved was to look inward and upward for your validation. She said, most of the time, we've had to learn things the hard way, and you're not finding your value or your worth from or your validation from any other person than yourself from your relationship with you and your Creator. I found that gorgeous, because yes, we are, especially women, we are in this moment where we are standing up for ourselves. We are finding our own identities, but we're looking outward for that, and we're still, we still are plagued with magazines and perfection being thrown at us, like from deodorant commercials to clothing ads to car ads, like, what should you drive if you're a Pilates instructor. What do you do if you're a performer and a writer? What do you need to wear? Who? What? How do you need to project yourself? So there's so many hows and whys, and really, at the end of the day, you have to live with yourself, and I am the only person that has to live with me, even if you are living with someone else, even if you are thriving with someone else. At the end of the day, you have to make yourself happy. There's nobody else. I mean, other people can add to your happiness, but they can't make you 100% happy. So I loved, loved that. 


Brad Crowell 13:33  

Yeah, I think, you know, it kind of goes back to what we were talking about last week, about worthiness, validation, if we put that in the hands of the people around us, we're setting ourselves up for failure.


Clare Solly 13:46  

Yeah, you're giving yourself a measuring stick. You're giving other people power to have the measuring stick for your life. And you don't know which direction they're going to go, because you don't know what their goals are and your relationship with yourself is, the one that should be paramount should be the top. And I'm not saying ignore everyone else and only live your best life, but that's not the point of and it's not Traci's point either. But I think you have to be comfortable with yourself first. You know, it's kind of like that airplane mask saying, right? You have to put on your mask first and make sure you're okay, before you're any help to anyone else. And I know that's not quite what she was saying, but at the same time, it's still that that's valid. 


Brad Crowell 14:26  

No, it's super relevant, you know. And I think also, too, she's talking about, you know, inward and upward instead of outward, instead of outward. So absolutely, I definitely agree. I was thinking about, how do you catch yourself in that moment of when you're when you're seeking validation from others, right? 


Clare Solly 14:47  

Yeah, hard habit to break. 


Brad Crowell 14:50  

Yeah, it really is, you know, because there's that sense of validation, I mean, I understand that. If we create a new product and no one buys it, that makes me feel like a failure. We fucked up. We clearly missed the mark. We didn't understand what people were looking for. I can understand that external, you know, looking external to we're talking about world views as well. If your worldview is, I am a salesperson, and you fail at selling like I was just talking about then. 


Clare Solly 15:21  

Well, identity. 


Brad Crowell 15:22  

Yeah, what do you do? What do you do with that? Does that mean life is over now? So when your foundation isn't built on those things, but instead is built internally, it's a lot more challenging to rock that kind of a person. And that's a good thing, that's a good thing. So, yeah, we'll, look, I really loved when she was talking about gifts. She said, listen, not everyone is going to understand your gifts or celebrate them. Those are not your people. And what she was talking about was this really heart wrenching story of her childhood where she was in her early teens, mid teens, and she walked up behind her friends, and her friends were basically talking shit on her, and she ended up going home, and she was telling her mom, and then her mom said something, probably not intentionally, but she said something that was really hurtful and that really rocked her. And she said what she had been told every day is, hey, remember who you are. And she's like, well, I'm loud. I am the person who is in control of the situation. I am all these things. And you know, in that sense, it's positive, but what she was getting the feedback from was that makes you bossy, and that makes you never paying attention, and that makes you this, that makes you this. So suddenly her strengths were being portrayed as weakness. And as a 14-year-old, how do you overcome that? You're going to change yourself so that you can fit in, so that you're no longer going to do those things, and that really shifts into people pleasing and all this other stuff, and that's really, really difficult. It was a sad story to hear. And she said her daughter came from home from school and said, hey, Mom, you know, I need to learn how to be a woman. And the things that her daughter said, well, I need to learn these things, that was like, the beginning of this mission that Traci is on, and that I felt was like so powerful that she had this moment of introspection. That was the word I was looking for at the beginning of the pod. Introspection, she had this moment of clarity, of like, oh, wow. Is this the example that I've set for my daughter, if these are the things that she thinks she needs?


Clare Solly 17:22  

And am I the model for that? I thought that was also very important. Yeah. 


Brad Crowell 17:26  

Yeah, absolutely. And so I think it's so cool that she's come full circle now and she can say, hey, you know what the gifts that I was told are a problem when I was a teen? No, those are still gifts. But the people who are giving me that feedback, those are not my people.


Clare Solly 17:44  

Yeah, and I like, this story resonated so, so deeply with me, because I was like, wait, are we the same person? Because the same sort of situation happened with me. And again, it was, you know, a different topic, a different day. And I'm sure other people, other women, especially, have suffered. And I'm talking from because I'm a woman, and I've talked to many women who have been like, oh yeah, me too. So I can speak from that. And many of us, you know, we just get ripped to shreds. And I'm very tall. I'm six feet tall, and so I have always been the one that was automatically the leader and was put in charge of things. 


Brad Crowell 18:24  

Sure. 


Clare Solly 18:24  

And I learned to speak loud because I'm a big, tall person. And then I also grew up with two stepbrothers, so I had to be loud because there were two boys in my house. And I was known as bossy. And it's so funny, because once I heard that, I was like, when was the last time I heard bossy? And I kind of love now that we have this boss babe mentality, like we've turned it around, that word. 


Brad Crowell 18:49  

Isn't that funny? 


Clare Solly 18:49  

Yeah and what used to be such a negative word, and we're now embracing it. I loved, I loved this, which, you know, brings me back to the embracing your gifts. Yes, I am X-Y-Z and if you need like A-B-C in your life, then we're on the wrong side of the alphabet. I need a W and a Q and a T in there. Go be on your other side of the alphabet. And like we all are in this together, but I'm X-Y-Z, and this is what it is.


Brad Crowell 19:14  

That is something that we, especially as a child, have no perspective on. Our entire world is our class. Our entire world is our bus to and from school. Our entire world is our neighbors, because those are our friends that we play with. I have to imagine that shifted because of the internet, but still, even with the internet and the virtual it's generally still people that we know in real life that we're trying to connect with online. So as we shift change, grow older, we realize, oh, maybe I don't need to be in this community. Maybe this is my community over here. Or these are not my people. Those are my people. Or as business owners, we talk about this all the time to our clients who are building their own business. Maybe the people that we've been selling to are not the people we should be selling to because they're clearly not appreciating the thing, you know, but there are other people who will appreciate the thing. This is also another thing that I think is so important that fits right into this. When we lived in Los Angeles, there were something like 15, 18 Pilates studios within a two-mile radius, or three-mile radius. I can't remember what it was, Lesley and I looked it up at one point, and it was like kind of mind blowing. How was it possible that we all had clients? If we're all competing, we're all doing this the same thing. We're all teaching Pilates. Now, there's different forms of Pilates, but that's not my point. The point is from the person who doesn't know anything about Pilates they just see 18 Pilates studios, right? What sets you apart is you and how you're communicating and connecting with them. Do they vibe with you? Your vibe, them, you know, coming in the door and being like, I like this person. There's something innate there. There's something intuitive there, and that's really a thing that sets you apart. And that's why we're not for everybody, and that's why they might not be your people. You know those people who are critiquing your strengths instead of praising your strengths.


Clare Solly 21:09  

Yeah and I think it also goes both ways. If you are buying into something, or you're giving your time to something and you're just not connecting with it, let it go. Leave it for someone else. Leave the space for someone else. There are many other opportunities out there. We talked about books earlier, like, I have read the same genre of book. I say I read dragon books, and there are some dragon books that I just don't like, and there are dragon books that like blow me away, but there are other people that read them that just don't jive. So yeah, if you're not feeling it, if you're not feeling me, move on to something else. Your life is yours. Live it how you want to. 


Brad Crowell 21:45  

I agree. I totally, totally agree. Stick around real quick, because when we get back, we're going to talk about those Be It Action Items that Traci and Lesley were talking about. So, we'll be right back. 


All right. So finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from Lesley's convo with Traci Peterson? She said hey, use the energy generator guide, especially if you ever feel overwhelmed burnt out as a mom, this guide, the energy generator guide, it walks you through the step by step. One, write down your top three values. Two, how to get to those in a very succinct manner. The guide helps you do that, and then you start calendaring those values. Have a conversation with your family, your spouse, your child, about your set of values. She talked about instilling this concept into her daughter in a way that allows your daughter to reflect, hey, is this serving me, this thing that I'm signed up for? Is it fitting with my values? And it allows you to also measure the feedback I think that you're getting from people, and be like, do these people agree with my values? Because if they don't agree with my values, then maybe I shouldn't be listening to their feedback. And I just thought that was super powerful to be teaching, you know, someone who's 12. Yeah, she said, sometimes we know what we value, but there's conversations that sometimes need to happen, explaining why, the why behind why you're doing it, so that you can get other people on board. So when you know your values too, you can also use that as a leader, you know, as the person who's the biggest personality in the room, like she is, I just, that's a, that's an incredible life lesson for someone to be passing on to their kids. And also, I think, I don't have any kids, so this is something that, like, Lesley and I would have a conversation about this kind of a thing, you know, do we need to do this? Or why are we doing this? Why are we still doing this? If it's something that we've been repeating over and over and over again? So yeah, that's pretty potent. 


Clare Solly 23:49  

Yeah, I love that she's focused on moms and daughters. Love it. Love it. Love it. I'm a daughter of a mom and don't have children, so for me, I dropped in instead of mom, I dropped in person, and instead of children, spouse, etc. I dropped in support system because I have many, many friends. 


Brad Crowell 24:05  

I really thought you were gonna say my pet. And I was like, yes.


Clare Solly 24:09  

I mean, you should calendar in your pet.


Brad Crowell 24:12  

And you'll have like, a one-on-one. Like, is this serving our values? 


Clare Solly 24:15  

Yeah. What are we, good dog, good job. But yeah. I mean, I think this system is good for anyone. So I, you know if, even if you're not a mom, you don't have a daughter, go take a look at this book, because I think it's very supportive. My biggest takeaway, and again, I love to, love, love this because I'm daughter of a mom, she created with seven woman lessons to look inward and upward for your validation and the lessons were, remember who you are and whose you are. And I loved that whose. I loved that. Gratitude grounds you. Your own, remember your own divine gift. Be selfmore, not selfless. I'm gonna say that again, be selfmore, not selfless. You are more than your body. Amen. Community counts and number seven was living your potential. All of these are brilliant. Again, I think you can even substitute in, not yes, these are great things to teach to a younger person. It's a good teachable moment for yourself. And like these seven guidelines, I feel like I took a lot of notes when I was listening to this one. I was listening out to it fast, and so I had to go back and listen because I was taking and I think it's just great ways to, like, focus yourself. And again, we're at the New Year. It's not too late to start your resolution, or if you have one, or if you don't, or even just looking forward to, like, where do you want to go? And these are steps and guidelines to move you forward or move you and your team, you and your people forward. So loved it.


Brad Crowell 25:45  

I have a lot of awe for people who take the time to reflect back on their years of life and pull out the like distill concepts like this. This all comes back to that conversation she had with her daughter about, like, Mom, I need to learn how to be a woman. And from that came an entire platform, you know, where she is now able to not only support her own daughter, but support other moms. And now she's hosting retreats and for mom and daughter retreats, and doing all this amazing stuff that came back to this one moment of absolute clarity. And then now she's got this system that she put together. And, you know, high level, these things sound like, oh, okay, that's great. Gratitude grounds, be selfmore not selfless. That's cute, actually. I like that one. But there's still so much thought that went behind each one. Why are these the seven, there's clearly a reason, and I think it's worth digging in. So I love that. All right. Well, everyone, well, I'm Brad Crowell. 


Clare Solly 26:48  

And I'm Lesley Logan, just kidding. I'm Clare Solly.


Brad Crowell 26:52  

Thank you so much for joining us today. If you want to hear more from Clare, go check her out at claresolly.com C-L-A-R-E-S-O-L-L-Y dot com. We are so grateful that you are here. How are you going to use these tips in your life? Let us know by sending us a DM to the pod on IG, or leave us a comment on YouTube. We will definitely catch you on the next episode and in between here, Be It Till You See It. 


Clare Solly 27:14  

Bye for now.


Lesley Logan 27:16  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


Brad Crowell 27:58  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.



Lesley Logan 28:03  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


Brad Crowell 28:08  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.



Lesley Logan 28:15  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


Brad Crowell 28:18  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



Transcribed by https://otter.ai



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