476. Redefining Your Inner Hero for a More Authentic Life

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23:29

Brad Crowell and guest co-host, author and actor Clare Solly, dive into key insights from Mark Collins’ discussion about releasing imposter syndrome and living a more authentic life. They reflect on how “I Am” statements can ground your identity beyond job titles and external labels. Tune in for practical tips on shifting from life “management” to true mastery, plus why believing in who you are transforms both your personal and professional worlds.


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In this episode you will learn about:

  • Why success can’t erase imposter syndrome.
  • Shifting from habit-based life “management” to true life “mastery”.
  • The power of “I Am” statements for personal identity.
  • How daily affirmations spark clarity.
  • Seeing yourself as a hero instead of relying on external validation.


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Episode Transcript:

Brad Crowell 0:00  

We talk about "I Help" statements a lot when we're coaching our clients because you got this elevator pitch of what you say to someone else, but we never talk about the elevator pitch that we say to ourselves.


Lesley Logan 0:10  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.


Brad Crowell 0:54  

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap. Brad here again today with a very special guest of ours, who, if you've been listening over the last couple of weeks, she's joined us, stepping in for Lesley, Clare Solly. Clare is one of Lesley's, yeah, welcome back. Clare is one of Lesley's besties. They go way back to just after college they got a chance to work together, and they started a shoe company together then you guys had a blog together when you were living across the country, all the things. I mean, I don't know, I feel like I might have, you might have been one of the first people I was introduced to when I ever met Lesley, even though I think you were already in New York at that point. 


Clare Solly 1:27  

Yeah, I was, yeah, yeah. 


Brad Crowell 1:29  

Pretty cool. I think it's amazing. So basically, Clare is an actress, actor. She's an author. She's Lesley's slingshot friend from New York City all the way back in episode 19, and today I have the pleasure of having Clare join me to talk about Mark Collins. We're going to dig into that transformative convo that Lesley had with Mark on our last episode. If you have not yet listened to that, feel free to pause us now go back and listen to that. And actually you might want to listen to it twice. It was like nuggets of wisdom, like boom, boom, boom, kept coming and to the point where I was like, can I just rewind 30 seconds and let him say that again and rewind 30 seconds, I mean, it was pretty.


Clare Solly 2:06  

I rewound. Get your finger ready on the rewind button.


Brad Crowell 2:10  

Well, Clare, tell us about today. 


Clare Solly 2:12  

Today is January 23rd and I'm very excited about this one. It is National Clashing Clothes Day. 


Brad Crowell 2:20  

I'm so excited. I love that. Hold on. I was just reaching for something that I could clash with. So I want to put on my blue and green hat at the same time.


Clare Solly 2:27  

Although, you know, that's complimentary, but, oh, but yes, but, yeah, fantastic, beautiful. I tell everyone sometimes I dress like a kindergartner because I'm like, I want to wear that shirt and these shoes and those pants and this too, too. And sometimes it works and sometimes it does not. So National Clashing Clothes Day is the fourth Thursday of January every year, mark it in you calendars and people are encouraged to dress in head to toe clashing clothes anything neutral, like a black, a gray, a white, not allowed today. 


Brad Crowell 3:00  

Yeah, no dice. That's a no go. 


Clare Solly 3:03  

No go. 


Brad Crowell 3:04  

Burn it.


Clare Solly 3:04  

Have fun with your clothes. Make people ask questions. Why not? And mix colors, prints, textiles, be clashtastic. Go for it. 


Brad Crowell 3:13  

Clashtastic. I love it. Well, y'all, why don't you be clashtastic with us in Cambodia, we're going back in just a few weeks. We'll be there at end of February. We've got to retreat, but we have another one coming up in October of this year. And I think that we just had an offer that may be coming to a close right now or just closed, but if you hit me up and you say, hey, I just heard this on the pod, can I make sure to get that offer? It's a big offer. Okay? It's basically the early bird special, and only the people on the waitlist got that offer. If you're not on the waitlist and you want to go see what we're talking about here, go to crowsnestretreats.com, crowsnestretreats.com. Check out the dates for October. Go take a quick look and see if that offer is still happening. If not, just just ping me and I will sort it out for you. But it has to be like right after this episode comes out, if you're listening this six months from now, I can't honor that, so I love you very much. I'm trying to take care of you. Go check it out. crowsnestretreats.com. Lesley and I will take you to our house and our favorite place in the world. Siem Reap, Cambodia. 


Lesley also has been working super diligently on the flash cards accessories deck, the sixth deck in the series. Get on the waitlist for that, go to opc.me/flashcardwaitlist, so that you can get 30% off offer, because only the people on the waitlist get that. Go to opc.me/flashcardwaitlist. If you are feeling stuck in your Pilates business, I want you to join me for a free Profitable Pilates Pilates Studio Growth Accelerator webinar. Okay, if you're feeling.


Clare Solly 4:40  

And why would you not hang out with Brad for free?


Brad Crowell 4:42  

Yeah come hang out. Come hang out. It will be so fun. We were feeling like, how come I'm not making enough money, or I'm barely making enough money? How come I'm not getting any new clients, but I need new clients? Or I don't know what to do for my social media or my newsletters or any of that kind of stuff. Lesley and I have been able to coach more than 2500 businesses over the past seven years, and we've boiled it down to three massive secrets that I will be sharing with you for free on this webinar. So go to prfit.biz/accelerator. That's profit without the O dot biz slash accelerator. So come hang out with us. It's going to be a blast. But before we get into this convo that Lesley had with Mark Collins, we have an audience question. And the audience question is Lesley asking Clare directly, do you do a handwritten or do you do a digital calendar? Love Lesley.


Clare Solly 5:58  

It feels crazy that this question was being asked of me by day, I daylight as an executive assistant, so my life is a calendar. 


Brad Crowell 6:06  

Don't tell your boss, that's your daylighting. 


Clare Solly 6:09  

Yeah, huh? 


Brad Crowell 6:10  

So don't tell your boss, it's only daylighting.


Clare Solly 6:12  

Oh, yeah, I'm in it to win it. I'm here for you always. But yeah, I mean, I work on a calendar, so I am 100% digital, almost to my detriment, because among the many things I do, I run a couple of theater companies. And so it's like, there's a theater company calendar and Clare Solly's calendar. And then I have a Bookstagram calendar, rewind to the last episode recap if you want to talk about Bookstagram. 


Brad Crowell 6:35  

Oh yeah. 


Clare Solly 6:36  

And then I have, like, my personal whatever calendar, and every grand once in a while I catch myself up and I don't cross calendars, but yeah, thank goodness that they all integrate these days and then I'm good at color coding. 


Brad Crowell 6:48  

You're right on the money there. The color coding is the secret because we live exactly the same way. Because, I've got my personal calendar, then I have my work calendar, then I have a Brad and Lesley shared personal calendar, then a Brad and Lesley shared work calendar, and then Lesley has her personal calendar and her work calendar, right? And we are sharing two of those, but we've got all of it, and that's just our stuff. Then we have all the things that we do with a company. We've got this calendar and that calendar and those you know, when we brought on our executive assistants, the first thing we had to do was debrief why it's such a crazy (inaudible) thing, but it's a system that works, and color coding is the secret. I can visually just identify what's happening in my day, generally. That's for the win. But that wasn't the question, do you do a handwritten calendar? 


Clare Solly 7:37  

I have. Above my desk at home, I have a handwritten calendar. 


Brad Crowell 7:42  

Okay. 


Clare Solly 7:43  

That I put, it's funny, I put anything I have that's fun on. So when I'm at work, I can look up and be like, oh, I'm traveling in 10 days, or oh, I have theater tickets next week. 


Brad Crowell 7:56  

Nice. 


Clare Solly 7:57  

So the handwritten calendar is for the fun stuff (inaudible). 


Brad Crowell 7:59  

Special occasions. (inaudible). That's a great idea. 


Clare Solly 8:03  

Or both. 


Brad Crowell 8:04  

Yeah, how about that? Both. I think that's great. Okay, amazing. Stick around. We'll be right back. We're going to talk about Mark Collins. 


Okay, let's talk about Mark Collins. Mark is the founder of Freedom for Life and author of Life Mastery: Living Life by Design, Not by Default. It's a leadership guide that empowers individuals to unlock their true potential with a mission to help people overcome imposter syndrome and align with their authentic selves. Mark offers actionable strategies for mastering thoughts, words and actions. Inspired by his own transformative journey, he equips clients to live with intentionality. I think it's amazing.


Clare Solly 8:43  

I love that. Such a good word, intentionality. I loved everything he said in this. Again, it's the gift that keeps on giving. I'm gonna go listen to it again, like I'm gonna bookmark it and listen to it when I'm feeling, you know, down and out. But I loved that he talked about imposter syndrome and identity sabotage and that you can't success away imposter syndrome or anxiety, or any of those other things that we do. It was one of those, yeah, of course, duh. But also, like brain explode moments. And he emphasized that success is amazing, but it's a poor substitute for identity. You are not your success. It's what comes from you being you. I love that. Rather than chasing that external validation, he encouraged us to ground ourselves in our authentic selves, and I feel like that's sort of the journey that I'm on right now. So this one rang so true to me. I was so excited that you asked me to recap them, because often I'll listen to them and I'm talking back during the recaps. I'm like, yeah, I totally agree. 


Brad Crowell 9:49  

That's awesome. 


Clare Solly 9:50  

And I'll probably listen to this recap and agree with both of us here. 


Brad Crowell 9:53  

Yeah. You're like, I agree with that point that I made. 


Clare Solly 9:56  

Yeah, yeah. And speaking of agreeing, I felt like I was kind of on the edge of my seat when Lesley asked him is imposter syndrome beneficial? And I was like and then makes fun. And I was like, wait, is that, like, maybe I'm doing this right or wrong all along? (inaudible) There's no healthy imposter syndrome, because what imposter syndrome says is I'm not qualified for where I'm at.


Brad Crowell 10:23  

Yeah, it's like this own perspective. I used to do this when I was working at the tech company. Y'all have heard me talk about this over the years that I worked for a tech company, and it was like this crazy, chaotic environment, and it was basically survival of the fittest. If you could get along and you could figure out how to get money for your project in this startup house, then you could survive. And I'm good at negotiating stressful situations that I'm also really good at operational catastrophes. When something blows up, because somehow, inevitably, it blew up all the freaking time there, I could figure out the way through. But the entire time that I was doing this really high wire rope act, the story I was telling myself is, I'm just a musician. I don't even know why I'm here. I would never get paid this if I went and worked somewhere else, so I'm gonna stay even though it wasn't that awesome. There were definitely moments of awesome, but as a whole, it was a challenging experience. But the story I told myself is I would never be hired to do this job anywhere else, and this is my opportunity to do it. So I'm just gonna do it. You know and that sucks. 


Clare Solly 11:24  

Yeah. I feel like we all sort of have a story like that too. That was me when I was in the event planning world, like I'm never gonna get this experience. I need to be here and dig in and live this life and be this person, live this life for right now. Because, you know, it's not. 


Brad Crowell 11:39  

Yeah, well, you know, I'm just theater kid, or I'm just a, I'm a trombone player. Like, what am I doing running a company, you know? And so I totally get that. What I also found amazing was his idea about success. He said for one of his clients, success was like, relief. 


Clare Solly 11:54  

Yeah. 


Brad Crowell 11:55  

That was like, whoa, is that me? Holy cow. Because you've built this expectation of success, and what does it mean to be successful? And when you close the deal, because he was a real estate guy, and he's, like, closing a multimillion dollar deal, and like, the next multi million dollar deal he does, he felt like he's just lucky to get it again. And that goes really hand in hand with that imposter syndrome. And kind of amazing. One thing that he said, that I thought was really interesting was really interesting, was he introduced this concept of Life Mastery. 


Clare Solly 12:25  

Yeah. 


Brad Crowell 12:25  

And he said, you know when you live from who you're created to be, when you know who you are, when you live from that, that is the easiest life possible. Okay? And that sounds pretty straightforward, pretty obvious, but that's like, pretty profound. He explained that you're created to be operating at your highest level. When you're not doing what you're meant to be doing, then you're not able to operate at your highest level. The reason I know this is because I built websites. I am not a developer, but could I do it? Yeah. (inaudible) But every time I would, yeah, but every time I'd have to go back and relearn what I should have already known. And like, you know, it was just always a push, always a struggle. So, like, there's the things of, can you do it? Yes. Should you be doing it? Maybe not. And I think when you're doing the can I be doing it? Yes. Should I be doing it? Yes. Now you're living in where you're meant to be, you know, and that is going to really put you in this position where you can live a life, the easiest life that you're meant to be. Things are going to feel like they're flowing. It's also going to be a lot more fun. We've talked about this a million times, if we've ever talked about it, but StrengthsFinders, CliftonStrengths now is what they call it, it allows you to identify your strengths, and when you're operating in your strengths, things feel like they flow. They feel more enjoyable. You feel like you're winning. And so when people come into our company, we have them take this quiz, and the reason we do is because it really guides us as a company to know where is this person going to succeed, and it will help them feel more fulfilled. They're going to be happier doing their job, and they're going to do their job well, because it's going to feel innate to them. That's a recipe for success there. You know, he said it contrasts with life management. And this was another interesting thing he mentioned, where he's like, you know, I've done a lot of self help things. And he said what it often becomes is this series of rules. It helps me in the change in the moment, but it doesn't help me long term, because then it becomes another rule. I have to live my life by long term, and that doesn't feel like it flows. And so I thought that was really interesting, because he said that doesn't sound like transformation or freedom, it sounds like exhaustion. And I was like, wow, that's true, because now you're living this regimented life that you have to do because this is what the thing was so just again, really fascinating stuff.


Clare Solly 14:50  

Yeah, I mean, I think you, Lesley and I, I feel like we have some version of this conversation every time we get together, the good tired versus the bad tired. You're always tired at the end of the day. Because you've had a day, but if you're doing things that fulfill you, that make you happy, and you're living your authentic life, and you're not sitting in this imposter syndrome, you're not working really hard, you're not pushing against a wall, as opposed to, like the bad tired when you're just exhausted and you're just banging your head against a wall and going in the wrong direction, working in those companies, or working in those jobs that you're not right for, you're not fulfilling, or you're sitting in imposter syndrome and you're continually trying to reach for success when you're just questioning yourself over and over and over. So I'm going to listen to this podcast, he knows so much. 


Brad Crowell 15:36  

Yeah, absolutely. Well, stick around. We'll be right back to dig into those, Be It Action Items, with Mark Collins. 


All right, welcome back. I said, with Mark Collins, I should have said, from Mark Collins, let's get into it. Let's talk about those. Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from Lesley's convo with Mark? I'll jump right in. He said hey, start with an "I Am" statement.


Clare Solly 16:00  

It's harder than you think it is. 


Brad Crowell 16:02  

Yeah, I haven't done this exercise yet, but this is really intriguing to me. An "I Am" statement, who you are, apart from your things, who you think you'll become. I used to nerd out on this kind of stuff when I was in my teens, because I used to like network as my job. I used to intentionally ask people, What do you do? What is the first thing that they always say? 


Clare Solly 16:24  

Their job. 


Brad Crowell 16:24  

Their job. 100% of the time, people would answer with their job when I ask, "What do you do?" Then the conversation would wind down. And then they would ask me, what do you do? And I'd say, I sleep a lot. And they would go, what? Because I wasn't answering with my job, right? And it was like this mental game that I used to, I used to laugh so hard about it, because I realized that that is how we define ourselves. And I thought, when I was listening to this with Mark, I thought, man, this is so poignant, because he says, when you define yourself apart from your things or your job or your work, it's going to help you determine who you are instead of what you do by who you are versus what you do, right? And then he said, once you figure out this "I Am" statement, it becomes your affirmation, right? And you're going to use it to align with who you are. And he said do the affirmations multiple times a day, because life happens multiple times a day. And I thought that was also funny. That's also true is we have these different moments of I mean, if I look at my day, I wake up and I have my morning routine that I really enjoy, right? And I do my morning routine, and that feels like a whole separate day from then I'm like, alright, now I gotta get focused. I'm gonna spend three, four hours, and then I'm gonna, like, eat my lunch, and then hopefully I can get back in the groove and have another three, four hours before the rest of the day, right? So, you know, it is funny how it breaks up into these blocks. He emphasized, the more you tell yourself the truth, the more you will see yourself show up as a hero, that you're created to be.


Clare Solly 17:53  

Loved, that. Loved that. I love that we're rebranding, or we're reusing hero. Because right now, there's so many hero movies, we're all kind of relating to that, like we all kind of put in our cape the little girl with her arms out and being Wonder Woman, you know, Wonder Woman pose that was big a couple years ago. I love this, because hero, even though it's conceptual, it's something we can all tap into. We can all make it real in our lives. We all can be a hero, and that's also something we can strive for. Like, being a hero feels like anti-imposter, right? So I just, I love. 


Brad Crowell 18:30  

That's great. That's a great way to connect the dots there. I really like that. You know, the hero is clearly confident and knows what the hell they're doing, you know, or they should, right, in the way that we envision a hero. You know, there's the anti-hero who maybe doesn't know what they're doing, but the hero, if you think of Superman, you think of the guy who knows how to solve the problem, or, you know, Batman or whatever. So, yeah, I love that. I love that. 


Clare Solly 18:53  

I also had to laugh a little bit because I knew I was coming on and doing this recap with you. And I know you and Lesley talk about being like, one woo, two woo. And I was like, this is like the scientific side of woo. 


Brad Crowell 19:05  

I knew there's a reason I connected with this guy.


Clare Solly 19:11  

I also loved the identifying moments when you are minimizing who you are, or when you're maximizing the issues and challenges that you have in your life. We all do that, like Lesley and I've talked about how we still feed drama into our lives because we knew how to deal with drama, or when you actually can do something, but yet, there's so many people around you that have done it before you or better than you, but they've paved the way. So what am I doing here? Well, I am my authentic self, and I am coming here because I have something to say, or I have a unique perspective, or I just have joy in whatever this is. So let me share with you my little corner of the world that spoke to me and I also loved the affirmations part. I loved the "I Am" statements. It was funny. As soon as I listened to it, I was like, I am, and I went right to job, right to job. And I was like, no, no. We've worked on this before, and my "I Am" statements are that I'm a creator and I'm a muse. Because I like to create things. I like to create stories. I like to create plays. I like to create environments where people find joy. And I also am a muse. I like to get together with people and talk through things and look at ideas and talk about books and pick apart things and go, how is this affecting us, and how are we putting this out into the world?


Brad Crowell 20:39  

I love it. I just decided my "I Am" statement. I, I'm creative, I am fun and I am happy. 


Clare Solly 20:45  

I love this, because that's both, you know, in his sort of trajectory, It's something you are now and it's something you can do. 


Brad Crowell 20:57  

Yeah and also, for me, it applies across what I'm passionate about, which is music, and what I do for work, which is run a company. I can be creative in music and be creative in the company, right? I can be fun in music and fun in the company, and I can be happy in music and happy in the company. When I first was talking about that, kind of had me feeling a little stuck. I like this "I Am" statement. We talk about "I Help" statements a lot when we're coaching our clients, because you got this elevator pitch of what you say to someone else, but we never talk about the elevator pitch that we say to ourselves. So I love this. 


Clare Solly 21:34  

Yeah, it's so empowering and it can change, too. Like, it can also point you in different directions.


Brad Crowell 21:40  

Yeah, he had another example. I find quality answers for every problem I walk through, or I'm going to align my words and actions with the things I am and the things that I do. So, yeah, you can use the I am statement to give yourself instruction, not just speak affirmations, so.


Clare Solly 21:58  

And align yourself with what you are created to be, like, why you're here. I love it. Love it. That's so good.


Brad Crowell 22:05  

Yeah, that's amazing. Awesome. I'm Brad Crowell. Thanks so much for joining us today.


Clare Solly 22:10  

And I'm Lesley Logan, just kidding, I'm still Clare Solly.


Brad Crowell 22:14  

Check out more from Clare and follow her Bookstagram stuff. You can find all that at claresolly.com. C-L-A-R-E-S-O-L-L-Y dot com. We are so grateful that you are here, that you take the time out of your life to listen and enjoy the interviews and then hear us kind of chat about them afterwards. How are you going to use these tips in your life today? I mean, what amazing tips? I want to know. Lesley wants to know. Ping us on IG, send us a DM, or leave a comment on YouTube or send us a text, and otherwise we will catch you on the next episode. Be It Till You See It. 


Clare Solly 22:47  

Bye for now.


Lesley Logan 22:50  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.



Brad Crowell 23:33  

It's written, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.


Lesley Logan 23:38  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


Brad Crowell 23:42  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.



Lesley Logan 23:49  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. 


Brad Crowell 23:52  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



Transcribed by https://otter.ai



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