685. The Powerful Way Your Body Truly Speaks To You

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What if your body has been trying to tell you something and you simply weren't taught its language? Lesley Logan sits down with best-selling author Inna Segal, creator of The Secret Language of Your Body, to explore how to listen to your body, decode ancestral patterns, and take responsibility for your own healing. Inna shares the turning-point moment that taught her to stop outsourcing her wellness, plus how to refine your feminine and masculine archetypes without chasing perfection. Tune in to discover why nobody knows you better than you.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co.

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In this episode you will learn about:

  • The moment Inna chose to heal herself instead of outsourcing it.
  • How to tell what ancestral trauma is versus your own pain.
  • Why healthy boundaries shift over time and with different people.
  • Exploring feminine and masculine archetypes through your family line.
  • Why refining yourself beats chasing the trap of perfection.


Episode References/Links:

  • Book: The Secret Language of Your Body by Inna Segal – https://a.co/d/0fL3MSwg
  • Course: The Secret Language of Your Body - https://www.innasegal.com/slybu-purchase-aud
  • Connecting to Your Intuitive Body (8-week challenge) - https://www.innasegal.com/8-week-challenge
  • Awake the Healer Within - https://ww.innasegal.com/new-masterclass-registration
  • Inna Segal Website - https://www.innasegal.com
  • Inna Segal Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/innasegalauthor
  • Inna Segal Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/InnaSegalAuthor
  • Inna Segal LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/innasegalauthor
  • Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions

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Episode Transcript:

Inna Segal 0:00  

I'd always relied on somebody else to do all the healing work, and I never actually did any thing myself, because I didn't think I was qualified to do it. I think that I knew how to do it, except that it was my body, and it's your body, when you're that you're dealing with. So nobody knows as much about you as you know about yourself.


Lesley Logan 0:23  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 


Lesley Logan 1:05  

Okay, Be It babe, we've talked we've we've had people talk about boundaries. We've had people talk about listening to your body. We've had people talk about getting to know yourself. And now I have your guest expert who is able to actually explain how to do all these things, explain how to actually listen to your body, explain how you can heal yourself. And really, we had a really great conversation about what it really looks like. And I mean, she was just describing being it till you see it in such a beautiful way, without saying it. And I just, I'm so excited that you're about to listen to this episode, because I just finished doing it, and I am pleased as punch. And I feel like I learned so much and or and even things that I think I knew were more solidified, and I have more confidence in that. And I just, I'm excited for you. So here's Inna Segal. 


Lesley Logan 1:52  

All right, be it, babe, I'm ready to have this conversation. I got to talk with our guest today before the end of last year, and I was so excited about all the knowledge she has in the area that we're going to dive into. Also, she's a best selling author, and I think it's really important to bring that up. She is the author of The Secret Language of Your Body, and, you know, as a Pilates instructor and someone who's really big on mind-body connection, I couldn't agree more with someone having access and information on how we can get to know and talk with our bodies in such a better way, I think the world will be a better place if we all could do that. So Inna Segal, if you can tell everyone who you are and what you rock at.


Inna Segal 2:28  

Thank you, Lesley. So I teach people how to connect to their body and listen to their body, but I'm going to also add the soul and really work with it to transform their health, to transform their emotions, to essentially transform any area of their life which is stuck a block into something that is much more wise, flowing and deep. And so they get to know themselves in a deeper, more enriched kind of way. So it's not a surface-based experience, it's a deep dive experience.


Lesley Logan 3:07  

I know and that's the hard one. The surface is, I think, easy and necessary to, you know, wake up and go to bed and do some stuff in between, but getting to know ourselves on a soul level. I mean, that is, it feels like it shouldn't be tricky, but for whatever reason, it feels like it's the hardest thing for people to do.


Inna Segal 3:29  

I think it's the hardest thing just because we are not taught from an earlier age that we should listen to our inner self, and that's through our sensations, through our emotions, through what's really going on within ourselves, but we're actually taught to ignore everything and adjust ourselves to everybody else in the world, and so because of that, I feel that it became hard thing, instead of natural, and part of everybody's life is to go my body is essentially showing me if I'm in alignment with my life, with my purpose, with my relationships, with every part of my life, with my health, or it's not, you know, and if it's not, what is it that I need to change and adjust so that it can be?


Lesley Logan 4:27  

Yeah, yeah. I mean, oh my gosh, you said so much there that I couldn't agree more with. I think we're all taught from a very early age, you know, to not listen to our feelings even as babies, you know, babies are crying and people are like, it's okay, you're okay, and it's like, well, they're crying, you know? And I get, I get why. And by the way, we have a lot of moms listen, I get why. I probably too be like, you're fine, stop crying. But also like, you know, at what point are we teaching our, teaching them at such a young age to not listen to how they feel, or for us to not listen to how they feel, or how we feel so, so I find maybe our bodies are their own language, like we, we grow up learning English, but our bodies are speaking Spanish, and we were never taught to listen to that language. But maybe I'm simplifying a little bit. Inna, can you I would just want to know before we get too deep into this. Like, were you born knowing all this? Did your parents teach you this? Did you come from a mother who made sure you knew how to talk to your get to know your soul and your purpose or how did you get here?


Inna Segal 5:28  

Well, my mom was actually she's very open-minded as a person, but she was very much when I was growing up. She was very much into the medical world, and she thought the word of the doctor was kind of the Word of God, essentially. So I went to a lot of doctors when I was younger. I had digestive issues, I had psoriasis, I had really bad back pain, sciatica, inflammation in my back, a twisted back, and I had anxiety just from constantly being uncomfortable inside my body and being in pain. And essentially, I want to say my turning point came when I ended up seeing this chiropractor that I'd seen for a while, and he came out of his office looked at me and said, Your body's stuck. And I said, yeah, I know that part. What are you going to do to help me? And I've been seeing him for a while, so this was not my first session with him.


Lesley Logan 6:28  

That's good. He's not like, look like, you're stuck.


Inna Segal 6:32  

Yeah, you know, we'd known each other for some time, and he so he's basically, he basically said, you know, your your body wants to be stuck at this point go home, and I didn't take very well to that. On the way home, I was pretty angry, but because I actually come from a background of professional writing and journalism and editing, I was and I was studying that at the time, I was thinking exactly like you were saying before, from that linguistic perspective that I'm stuck my body's speaking to me. I don't know what it's saying, because it might as well be speaking. I felt like it was more Chinese or Japanese, because I literally I can't even recognize the letters, but what I was aware of is that I'd been going to see somebody for about it was two years solid, between three and five days a week, And I would have, you know, times, maybe a week to maximum month, where I felt better and I could forget about everything and just do whatever I needed to do in my life. But then I would have this crash, and all the pain would intensify and explode, and I would feel like it would get worse rather than better. And so what occurred to me on this drive home was that I'd always relied on somebody else to do all the healing work, and I never actually did any thing myself, because I didn't think I was qualified to do it. I think that I knew how to do it, except that it was my body, and it's your body to when you're that you're dealing with. So nobody knows as much about you as you know about yourself. And so when I went home, I made a decision, I'm going to heal myself. And I essentially just did the most basic things. I placed my hands on my back. I was breathing into my back because I realized that I was holding my breath. And you know, if you hold your breath, you are stuck. And I know you probably know about this more than most of us, Lesley, from teaching Pilates, and you know, and connecting to your body in that way. And so as I was doing that, and counting backwards from 30, it occurred to me to ask for something higher in terms of help. Because I thought, why not? Why? You know, at this point, I mean, there was conflict in me around, you know, whether I believed in it fully or not. And I say this because most people go, well, you have to believe. I didn't believe in anything. I'm one of the most skeptical people you're going to meet when it comes to things, you know, where I need proof for things.


Lesley Logan 9:30  

Right, right.


Inna Segal 9:31  

And so, you know, I have a very scientific, skeptical mind, and I ask, because I just essentially felt like, Why? Why wouldn't I? Why not ask for help? At this point, I had zero expectations, but this warmth just moved through my body, and as my eyes were closed, I saw this golden light, and then I said, for whatever reason, or I thought, I thought, I wonder what my back would look like if I could see it, and without any expectation, within a few moments, I felt like somebody switched the light on and I could see my back. And although I was a bit shocked, I thought to myself, okay, this is kind of my (inaudible) to Japanese. Show me. Show me why I have this. What is the real reason that I have this? And the best way to describe this is as in having a memory meets a vision meets wisdom, right? So it was kind of like there were several, I am very visual. I didn't know that I was until that moment, but I am and visually, I could connect back to memories of things that happened. But not everything was a memory. Some of it was more of an insight, vision, understanding, kind of wisdom, what happened. And so I saw I was born in Eastern Europe, I saw myself coming to Australia and going to school and being bullied, and from there, developing psoriasis all over my skin. I saw the conflicts that my parents had in terms of trying to adjust to a new culture going to high school and not necessarily being bullied for not being able to speak the language, but being bullied for not being one of us, so to say, not being because it was a private school, not being someone who came from a super wealthy family, not belonging to the same club, and all of that affecting me from the perspective of, I don't feel myself, I don't feel supported, I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I don't want to be here and.


Lesley Logan 11:57  

I get all of that. I get all of that all and I think so many people are probably nodding along, we don't realize how it doesn't have to be so bad that we would be on news show or be a documentary about you, but those little things that make you feel unsafe and or you don't belong, it means that your body becomes this foreign thing you you no one know. Not only do you not know how to read Japanese to talk to your body, but it just you know, if you can't belong in your own body, it's really hard to feel like you belong anywhere. And if you don't feel like you belong anywhere, it's hard to know what belonging in your body is. You don't know what what that feels like.


Inna Segal 12:41  

Well, exactly, and the last part of this was an understanding of ancestry meets my own, I guess, challenge everything interestingly was coming up around this communication challenge, right? So not being able to speak and be myself, not being able to speak English, not being able to speak the language, and I don't mean, you know, when I, when I got older, the language that people are speaking about. Oh look, this is my label. This is what I bought here, and so on. 


Lesley Logan 13:18  

Oh, yeah. 


Inna Segal 13:18  

So there was an interesting aspect of that. And then there was this ancestral trauma that was connected to my digestive system that took a long, long time to work on. And it was to do with my grandmother losing a lot of people in her family. And then when I was 19, I got pregnant. It was very hard for me to adjust to that idea that I was going to become a mother at that age. Out of all my friends, I would have been, you know, the one they thought would either have kids the latest, or maybe not even have them. So the fact that I was the first, and everyone went, oh my god, wow, okay, was pretty intense. And then, when, then I just had this sense that something was off, probably about a month or three weeks before the baby was born and when, but I was told by the midwives that I was crazy, that nothing was happening. And this is, again, how medical professionals often kind of push aside anything intuitive that shows up, and essentially, the baby died pretty much 38 weeks.


Lesley Logan 14:31  

Oh, I'm so sorry.


Inna Segal 14:34  

Yeah. So it was so I was in trauma. I didn't want to leave. I was, you know, I just want people to understand I was at rock bottom, even wanting to be here, and I was 20. In my mind, whilst I don't, I can't say 100% I was told that the baby would have died two or three days before, which was actually my birthday, where I turned 20. So it was, you know, so I kind of connected it to my. Birthday and all of this stuff and that I didn't want to be here, and what's the point of everything in life, and this, this whole experience of connecting to my body, was pretty profound. So I really saw how my grandmother and her loss, she lost her mother, and she she was part of a family of eight, and everybody died, except her and her father, who survived for a few years after the war, and she never really grieved it or worked through it in any way or form, because people didn't at that time, and everybody had digestive issues in my family, and so I could see how the explosion occurred. Especially, I had issues before, but after I had the baby, it was just, you know, I, my digestive system just wasn't working well, and during that experience, I cried a lot. I understood a lot of things. I also realized that I was a sponger. I was one of those people that just took on everybody's pain in general, as well as it all. And after all of these insights, I fell asleep, and then the next day, when I wake up, about 70% of the pain was gone from my back, and I felt different. There was something different inside of me where I went, oh my god, my body's working with me. I can help I can work with it. It's because I made this step towards it that it's coming towards me, even though I'm still super skeptical that, you know, this is not just something that's not going to return. And so, you know, over the next few weeks, I just journaled a lot, I asked a lot of questions, I connected, and by the end of it, all the psoriasis was gone. So that was the first thing that went that was and again, lots of people, my family, have it and have had it their whole lives. So it wasn't, and I'd had it for by that stage, for 10 years. So it wasn't like, oh, you know, I had this.


Lesley Logan 17:10  

Mis-diagnosis of some kind. 


Inna Segal 17:11  

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then, you know, I noticed, yeah, my back pain disappeared. My anxiety went down. Digestive Issues took years and years to work on. 


Lesley Logan 17:26  

They do. But also with that generational and ancestral trauma, it just takes a while, because the gut just takes a while to, like, rebuild and do all that stuff and figure out what you need. Sorry, I cut you off. But yes, I actually it feels better that it didn't happen overnight, because that would feel weird.


Inna Segal 17:47  

Well, yeah, exactly. And that's what people need to understand, is that, especially when it comes connects, like, well, what's the gut about? It's about digesting life as well as food, right? It's assimilating, every day we have experiences, this is our emotional center, one of them, and we always talk about our what's your gut saying? Right? So we already know we have it in our language. So we have our intuition, we have our emotions here. We have knowingness here. But it's also all about how we, our relationships. It's an area that processes what happened during the day, your relationships, your experiences how something happened in your life, and what you believe you're capable of doing. It's kind of where your sense of self lives, and many of us need to clarify what that even means and rebuild it, because a sense of self has been beaten down over the years through all sorts of things in our you know, family and even at work, relationships for sure, and so this is something that is daily, right? It's a daily experience where you go, you know, how did I, how did I go today? Did I push down and push away and just keep going, or did I face things?


Lesley Logan 19:20  

Yeah, I think that's a great, first of all, I love that you ask yourself questions. And I think that that's where a lot of people, well, I think a lot of people get stuck on what am I asking? But also do I ask myself how am I doing? Yes, that's a great place to start. But I do think a lot of people, you know, it's, it's okay if you're one day, like, I can't do it today. I just have to go through. Okay, one day. But where I think happens is that people keep going the next day into the next day. We procrat, we keep putting off the prioritization of ourself. And that's where it builds up on top of the ancestral stuff. So it's we have our own stuff, and then there's the stuff. So I guess I have, I don't want to forget to talk about boundaries, because I know you've clearly had to figure out how to do that since you are so, since you were a sponge before, and obviously we're probably not now, since you figured this out. But for the people who I've heard of, ancestral stuff, like it comes through, how do people know what's theirs and what's ancestral, and then how do you cut the ties of that? Because is it visually cutting the ties? Is it telling your family that's your stuff? How do you do that?


Inna Segal 20:31  

Well, it's, I don't know about visually cutting it. I'm not gonna be a fan of cutting things in general. I think I'm more into clearing or being very clear in things that I feel in terms of, again, boundaries, it often takes a long time for you to gain your confidence first, to become aware of what is a healthy boundary, right? So you have to even come to that place of, what does it mean and who with, right? Because it's completely different with different people. So I can be incredibly good with having healthy boundaries, let's say with my students or with my clients, but not necessarily with family. And I'm saying it as an example, right? It's easier with people who are not close with you. The hardest thing is with those who are because you don't want to hurt them and you don't want to be harsh. And so from my perspective, I've done all sorts of things with boundaries. I've spent, you know, countless hours at different times in my life writing them down again. I write to get clarity, and I actually encourage everyone to do that in terms of boundaries, because what does it mean to you? You know, is it self respect? Is it self love? Is it space that you need? What boundary are you actually looking at? Is it actually you know, I know so many people that are single and don't have healthy boundaries with people that they have dated or been in relationships before with, or they keep going and then they wonder why they can't find the part, you know, the partner that they want, and all sorts of things. So there's many, many different boundaries that you need to look at. I think the hardest are definitely when it comes to your parents, children and partner. You know, I really think it's also how you present it and then sticking to it. So for instance, with my children, it's also changed over time. So there were times when they were younger, where it was like, well, you have to knock on the door. That's my boundary. Can't just barge in. So if you barge in, you go back, you know, and you knock on the door, that's a boundary, right? And they had to write down their boundaries as well when they were younger, when they were kind of teenagers, and so on. And then it became, well, you know, with my son, for instance, he would go into this place of overwhelm, and then he would bombard me with negative messages in the middle of the night. And so even if I turned my phone off, which was part of my you know.


Lesley Logan 23:15  

Yeah, you wake up to a crappy day.


Inna Segal 23:19  

Exactly. And so I said I had to clarify this to him over and over and over again. You can't do this. If you do this, I'm going to, I'm actually not going to speak to you for a while. I mean, unless you're asking me for help, don't, don't send me this, unless you're willing to do what I'm what I'm going to say, so we had a lot of kind of like, here's a boundary. Here's a boundary. Here's a boundary. With my mom, she used to call me, and the first thing that she would say would be some kind of complaint, and I'd be like, as she called, I wouldn't pick up the phone half the time. And she would go, you know, you don't pick up the phone. And I was like, well, let's think about why I don't pick up the phone. You know, what do you usually say when you call me? You know, do you say something positive? Is it something encouraging, or do you kind of attack and say all these things to me? And so again, we had to have a break for several months from talking to each other, because I was like, you can't do that. And then we had a break another time, because she learned her lesson where, you know, and I would say, I will hang up if you start being negative and telling me all this stuff, I'm not your therapist. I'm your daughter. So, you know, we need to change our game and the roles that we're playing, because this, I cannot grow the way that you're you're doing this. And also, I don't want to be in, you know, like you are with my children. So I need a completely different overhaul of mothering, you know, so that I can be the mother that I think they need. There's so many different ways, and I think luckily for me, everybody in the family eventually, because they kind of got the message in terms of what the boundaries are. But it takes time, and it takes a lot of effort.


Lesley Logan 25:24  

Well, I appreciate you, one, giving all those examples, because I have asked other people this question, and I don't get nearly the detail. I get be patient, but also be clear. And it's right? I thank you for the you know, the same thing I could read on a blog. What I appreciate is like, you explain how your how the boundaries, healthy boundaries evolve over time, based on the person and based on your needs. And also that it is, it is hard. You have to keep enforcing that boundary until you know it's an actual boundary that they see and you can and it can be appreciated. And also that means that they could have boundaries too. And I think that's where a lot of people who struggle when people put boundaries up, is that they don't realize that they too can also have a boundary they too can go reflect on. So I think what a great example you are. So thank you for diving into that. So I do, I do want, before I forget. I do want to go into that ancestral stuff. Because, first of all, I can only imagine what your grandmother went through. But I do, I do know that, most of us, no matter where you live in the world, if you're over 40, you have grandparents or great grandparents who were in these were World Wars. So there was, there was a lot of loss. And you know, I know my father was in a war that was not appreciated and liked, and in hindsight, was a terrible thing, and so not treated the same as people who were in one of the world wars when they came back home. And so I think all these things depend. So how do you how did you discover what was ancestral with your grandmother versus, oh, this stuff, this over here is my stuff. How did you kind of figure that out?


Inna Segal 27:04  

Well, I started looking at everybody in the family, actually, and I started asking questions, which were, was I born with this? I mean, in other words, did I bring this with me into this life? Is it does it feel like completely mine, or does it feel like I've brought it? I'm picking it up, I'm carrying this, and if I am, then am I doing it unconsciously in the same exact way that my grandmother, or great grandmother, whoever else did, or my mom? Or am I doing this differently? So I was closely looking at it, and one of the biggest things that we do take on, and that I was watching myself, you know, absorb, let's just say, was constant worry, right? Constant worry, because that was something my grandmother did. My grandfather did it. They had digestive issues, they had surgeries, they had cancers. My mom had it, and I was like, what are they doing that I don't want to get the same health issue? Let's break that down. So to actually, because the biggest thing in my family is intestinal cancers, I was like, okay, let's look that up. Well, in my book that I write, let's look at that right, and let's go, what causes this? And if I don't want to get this, I need to act in a very, very different way, meaning internally, not just on the external which means I need to go rather than just sitting in that state of tension and worry, it's like, what can I do to transform that worry? You know, what can I what do I need to work on in terms of that? So, how do I change that when this shows up? What am I worrying about? And actually, my daughter asked me the other day. She goes, Mom, what do you do when, you know, when things happen to her, mainly to my son. And you know that's different, because she was asking me about this ancestral stuff, and I said to her, well, actually, I start to think I know so many processes, right? I teach them, I write about them. So I immediately get my journal out. I write down what's going on for me, and then I look at what are the processes that are available to me that can help me and him? And it could be as simple as I am focused on buying into whatever he's telling me, which is negative and he obviously wants me to feel as bad as I possibly can feel because that's his pattern that he's learned from, you know, his dad and other people in the family. So what if I don't buy that, and I actually keep seeing him being healthier and being stronger and being, you know, different and so at different times. I mean, not different who he is, but being aware of where he's at. And you know what I found is that it's not immediately that the change happens when you hold something different for, let's say, your your child, but eventually they have. It's like they have something different to adjust to than that ancestral line that you've worked on yourself, and that's how you change things for your family.


Lesley Logan 30:50  

Inna, that is freaking amazing. It's like, I'm obsessed with this, because it's instead of me turning on the emotion that they're trying to get me to have, I'm visualizing the person that I wish they could be in that moment. I can stay good, and their stuff stays their stuff, and it's not going to solve it in today's conversation or tomorrow's conversation or whatever. But I'm not taking it on either, because it's not mine. I love this so much. Oh my god. I mean, I could keep talking about this with you, but I do want to pick your brain about something that we talked about that made me so excited. You have a whole thing you talk about archetypes and with masculine and feminine. I just kind of wanted to get into that, because I think it's really easy for, you know, with Instagram, to say, like, oh, you got to be in your feminine. And it's like, well, yeah, and I run my own business, so, you know, sometimes I have to talk about taxes, sometimes just got to do it. So I kind of wanted to hear your take, because I'm I also am someone who's, like had gut issues, and I've had a lot of people who listen, who have that, and I'm like, how do I stay not taking it all in, but also, being in this world, this world is a lot going on.


Inna Segal 32:02  

Yeah, absolutely, when we're looking at archetypes, essentially, what we're looking at is emotion meets your belief systems and a perspective, a particular way of seeing life, meets your life story. So what's actually occurred to you specifically, and also it connects to your ancestry, what you've picked up and you're playing out that you're not necessarily aware of. So let's say we are looking at feminine and masculine as archetypes. So if I'm looking in the feminine archetype, and I feel hardly anyone talks about this, I need to, actually, to understand my own feminine I need to understand my feminine line. I need to understand, well, what was the feminine in terms of my grandmother, let's say, how did she express that? And is that in alignment with what I feel feminine is at this point, so was she warm, kind, loving, expressive, or was she cold, disconnected in herself? What was the example of feminine from, let's say, my grandmother or my auntie or my mom, ideally, all of these people, because that became my idea of what feminine is. Now around the age of 14 to let's say 16, we are as we're growing in that teenage age, which is also an archetype where we're looking at our family, female and females and males, and we're going, who would I like to be like? Who is showing me something that is more appealing to me than the other person? So for a lot of us, especially of my generation, like you said, people in their 40s. You, you, you kind of had that more of a choice than the generations before that, where you looked at your mom and you looked at your dad and you went, I think I want to be more masculine because it looks more fun and I can and I want to, you know, for me, it was like, I want to be like, Madonna, look, if she can do it, I can do it. 


Lesley Logan 34:32  

I wasn't allowed to have her on my wall, but I am so I feel like I missed out on an amazing chapter of life, if I could have had her as my mentor.


Inna Segal 34:41  

So, you know, and she was quite masculine, and since she went, I'm going to do whatever men do. I'm going to conquer the world, blah, blah, blah. So to me, it was that, and subconsciously, again, no one does this consciously. Subconsciously, I went, well, my mom, so. what feminine means for her. in terms of what I've seen, is cooking, cleaning, doing what you don't want to do, being subordinate to your partner. I'm not doing that. So I was like, I'd rather be masculine than feminine in that sense, again, not consciously, because my dad has freedom. He does whatever he wants to do. My mom does whatever my dad wants her to do, whatever she feels, she's constantly adjusting herself. And so I kind of went like this, you know, bull into the real, into my earlier relationships, going, oh no, it's my way, like I because I cannot be like what I've seen my mom be, which obviously then create a lot of conflict, and made me go, okay, so when I'm looking when somebody says, be feminine, and I'm looking at this, and it's still work, a work in progress, right? And I'm going, so what does it look like today to show up being feminine in terms of this person and that and I thought about it in so many different ways, and one of the easiest ways I've thought about it is through color. So it was like, okay, let's say I'm wearing pink today, so I'm going, pink is a soft color, quite feminine in that sense of expansion. It's it's a love color, but it's gentle. It's not that red passion, you know, and intensity. It's softer than green. Even the green is connected to the heart and healing the heart. So, I, you know, I might go, okay, so what does it look like to be pink and connect to my son, for instance, through that, you know, more of the gentleness let me, let me get to know myself in that feminine through that color. How do I breathe? How do I feel? How do I walk? How does my voice sound? Can I adjust my voice based on this color? Right? Because people get affected. And so it started to look at that. And I also think that when you're looking at again feminine or masculine, it's about role models. It was like, what what do I already have, and what am I missing? And so one of the things, because I grew up in, you know, both when I was very young, in Eastern Europe and then in Australia, most of the time now, in both of these places, gracefulness is not one of the things that you see in terms of women. But in France, you see that all the time. And so at one point, I was like, what am I missing? Oh, I'm missing this sense of grace that I find really attractive in terms of seeing in other women. And so where do I find this? And I was like, I need to, I need to look at old movies. I need to look at French women, not all of them, but. 


Lesley Logan 38:06  

Yeah, no, Inna, this is so be it till you see it. This is the blueprint for how to be it till you see it. And I agree, oh my god, the French women, they know how to just like they exude luxury and grace.


Inna Segal 38:20  

Exactly. And just watching it and going, oh, okay, let me, let me embrace this. Let me practice this. Right? Because people think, oh, I am who I am, and I'm, I don't agree with that. It's like, you are a refinement, you know? And this is why I don't agree with this whole idea in the New Age movement of I'm already perfect. It's like, what? Why? What are you doing here? If you're already perfect, what's the point of this? Perfection, as my partner says this (inaudible) perfection is the enemy of creation. It's like, you're not perfect. You would not be here. This is not a holiday. You're here to evolve and grow. And, refine. You know, let's not even use the word perfect. Let's use the word refine. And, you know, grow in that sense. And it's the same with the masculine. What I find, for instance, is that people who find it very hard to be successful in the outside world have a very weakened masculine without any doubt, it's almost like that spine of the masculine is weakened inside of them, usually from childhood, usually from, you know, all sorts of belief systems and early failures and lack of direction and lack of support often from their family in terms of, rather than pushing somebody into direction, actually discovering the direction that and supporting them in the direction that is right for them. And so what ends up happening is that these people start having these very, very strong belief systems. But it shows up in their spine like literally shows up energetically in their spine, because lower back, for instance, is all about finances. And you know, how good are you at looking after and supporting your family? And I grew up with people who constantly thought about finances, so it was not a surprise when I figured it out I had back pain, and love back pain. So it's almost like, as you become aware of it, you actually have choice to do something about it. So with the masculine you can, you know, you can go, oh, I need to work on strengthening that archetype, that part of myself, but also my spine, and my ability to handle rejection, my ability to handle objections, my ability to to guide if it is my own business, let's just say my ability to make decisions, concentration, logic, so all of those are beautiful masculine qualities. But I need to, let's say, whether you're in a masculine or feminine body, feminine is creative. It's light, it's a bit chaotic, but it's, you know, it's flowing at the same time, it's colorful, it, you know that there is that divinity and spirituality magic that it has there, whereas the masculine is more about making it happen, taking something that's creative and amazing and putting it into practice.


Lesley Logan 41:35  

Well, and you can, I would love to hear, I want to make your own opinion for you, but it just sounds like we need both. We have to we all need both. And it sounds like understanding where we got our our vision of what those two things are and how we are using them in our body is going to either help us or it's or it might be what's harming us. And so the more we can take our time to discover who is. Where did I discover my feminine and where am I, where would I like it to be? And where did the masculine happen? And where would, where would I prefer it to be? And then working towards that. And I love that we are not perfect. There's no perfect. Just keep on evolving and refining and getting better and so but the Instagram world is like, oh, I have three friends who are like, I'm just gonna, live in my divine feminine I'm like, oh, okay. I mean, I think that's gonna be hard.


Inna Segal 42:32  

Well, actually, interestingly, quite a few years ago, when I was separating from my ex husband, I ended up meeting this friend of mine, and she was doing this whole divine feminine thing at the time. And I remember I would call her and I would say, we caught up three times a week at the time, which was amazing. And I'd call her and I'd go, oh, what have you been doing, you know, this week, besides the times we've, you know, caught up, and she'd go, I'm connecting to my feminine I'm just literally lying next to the pool, journaling, you know, getting the sun, having a swim, and that's all I'm doing, because I'm slowing down internally and and she would speak in this beautiful, kind of very slow way. And I remember thinking, it's like she's the complete opposite to me. I don't even know what that looks like, or what that means to just, you know, go, and this was happening over many months, where she just, you know, it was covered. She wasn't working, and she was, you know, she'd pick up her son and do some things in the evening from school, but most of the day was about this and and really embodying it. And I was well, firstly, I think it's amazing that she's doing it, but most of us do not have that luxury of just or a (inaudible). 


Lesley Logan 43:53  

Right, we do have to kind of go do something today.


Inna Segal 44:01  

Exactly. And, you know, in the same way that it was beautiful, it was also really challenging for her, because then she was kind of like, well, I want to start a business, but there was all sorts of blocks that were coming up for her to start a n business, because she really got into that state of, well, feminine means there's no time limit. You just do what you want. You just kind of, right? And eventually it's she had to step into her masculine and start to balance it out, because you cannot just be in one, you know, constantly.


Lesley Logan 44:41  

Yeah, one or the other. Yeah, it goes the same with like, oh my gosh, I we don't have time to get into it. But on the ground, these people are, these dudes, this is what it means to be masculine. I'm like, is it though? Maybe you should find your feminine. Maybe you should. But I appreciate that you sharing that story and also, yeah, we it's kind of taking the time to understand both archetypes for ourselves and what that refinement looks like, and then working on what the transition is between the two and when, when you're applying both. You know, I feel like I could talk to you forever, because, it's so beautiful what you do, and you're so knowledgeable, and there's a lot of kindness and how you approach these things, it's also so patient. So, you know, I appreciate that, because, you know, our listeners are like, okay, but tell me. And I think they need to hear it does take time, so we are going to take a brief break and find out where people can find you, follow you, work with you, and your Be It Action Items. 


Lesley Logan 45:31  

All right, Inna, where do you hang out? Where can they buy your book? Where they take courses? Where should they go to learn more about you?


Inna Segal 45:39  

So the best place to go to is my website, which is innasegal.com I-N-N-A-S-E-G-A-L dot com, and what I really invite people to do is to take a step forward. And in the last few years, what I wanted to do is to take away people's excuses. So I used to do these master classes, slash mini workshops. I used to charge quite a bit of money for it. And then I said to my partner, you know what? I just feel like I want to spread the seeds, so to speak, and I want to give people an opportunity for, you know, some time. And this can change at any point that we've decided to change it, but for some time, an opportunity to access these, you know, mini workshops for free, because I want to take away excuses, because most people have excuses, non stop excuses, of why they don't do something. And the only excuse I cannot take away is you actually making a time for yourself and going and doing it, right? Actually doing the course, the mini workshop, the masterclass, and giving yourself the opportunity to tune in and there's, there's several master classes, so there's option. It's not, I never believe in one fits all kind of mentality. Some, some people very new to my work, my book, The Secret Language of Your Body, and they just want to go, how do I work with the book in the best way possible, right? How do I work with my body in the best way possible? So we have options for that, where people can, you know, can can do a course based on my book, The Secret Language of Your Body, or they might, you know, we also did something called the eight-week challenge where, you know, connecting to your intuitive body, where I go through all the systems of the body through the eight weeks, as well as archetypes and tuning into your body. And this is a way for people to really get to know and understand all the different aspects of their body that shows up and really befriend it. But then I teach, I teach my kind of 10-day workshop of Awake the Healer Within which is what I'm most excited about, because it's what you know, what is the foundation of healing? What does it actually mean to heal on the deepest level? And we talk about and work with a lot of archetypes, from feminine and masculine to the victim to the, you know, inner child, to really understanding your saboteur and how you sabotage your life, how you procrastinate and so, as well as the archetypes connected to your intuition and your capacity to move forward. So, and there's a lot of kind of tools around working with the body and healing and different conditions and energy and so on in that particular offering, which is a master class as well, but it goes for four hours. You need more time, and we go into all sorts of processes. I always, I don't just talk in these master classes. I actually give people a lot of wisdom and processes. And then I have one on your purpose and the sole purpose, and what it even means and looks like, and one on understanding ancestry and understanding your kind of your stages of development. So there's a lot.


Lesley Logan 49:17  

Inna, oh my gosh, if you try it right now you can, you can access it for free. So you should go do that. Why would you wait? And if you have to pay, I think it's probably worth it. So, I mean, I learned so much already. You have given us so much, and I agree with that. Like, take a step forward so that could be your Be It Action Item. But if you have any other bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it, we'd love to hear them.


Inna Segal 49:43  

I feel like step one is making a decision that you're you're somehow responsible for your own healing, not for what happened to you, not for all the trauma that occurred to you and other people's involvement. But what can you do about it and without it, nobody actually really heals in a real way. Other people can do all sorts of things for you, but it won't fully hold, because unless you take that step forward, you're not, you know, you're not really understanding what it's about. And so step one is being interested, being willing to understand, taking that responsibility and then searching for it, taking step a step forward, and then I'm going to say is helping yourself from the perspective of, how does this become part of my life? Right? So, how do I make it part of my life? In other words, what do I do when I wake up in the morning most of the time, right? Because we can't do something all the time. Things change. But most of the time, what is your first thought when you wake up in the morning? Are you focused on meditation, divine connection? Are you focused on what you could do during the day? Are you focused on the positive? Are you focused on stress and worry. You know, what, what happens to you? Then you know what happens to you when you're eating, for instance, are you conscious? And I think that's a huge one for most people, including myself, because we're just running and doing this and this and that in the you know, can you start to create time? And I had this conversation yesterday, actually, with my partner. I went to meet his family. He's from the UK, so we went to England last year, and I was watching his family, and I was like, oh my god, I can't breathe because they just ran. There was no stopping, there was no kind of breathing, there was no self-reflection. There was just doing, doing next thing, next, next, next. And he said to me yesterday, he said, I've just realized that, you know, I do my work. We work together. I think like you do with your husband. And he's like, I finished something, and I go, what's next, what's next, what's what's next. And I never give myself time to really connect and tune in. And he and I said to him, yeah, because this is that's all you've seen when you were growing up, I was exhausted watching your family, and I remember at one point I did a process, and I did in the wrong place, in the wrong room, where everybody could see me, where they started coming into the house. I didn't realize how long it would take. And they were like, what are you doing, wasting your time, as opposed to, actually, I'm doing something really important. Why are you not helping us? I was like, oh, because I'm being I need to, you know, I'm doing something for myself because it was, it's non-existent, and he went, it's almost like I feel guilty, or I feel, you know, that I'm wasting my time. That's why, when you keep saying, do processes, but I have so much more to do, but it's practical. And what you're saying to do is impractical. It's you know, internal stuff, but not, I don't see the practical application of it. And, you know, he's like, can I feel guilty, and he's like, I need to change this, right?


Lesley Logan 53:18  

Yeah.


Inna Segal 53:20  

And this is many, many people, especially men, where they kind of go up, I just need to fix stuff, I just need to do stuff, as opposed to, unless you're good inside, and you even give yourself an opportunity, like you said, Lesley, to ask questions, to go within, to discover who are you? What do you stand for? What do you do? What are you about? You know, all of this takes time to self-reflect and self-connect. How can you have boundaries? How can you have good relationships with someone if you never think about it right, because that shows up in your body. So how do you allow yourself to access feelings if you're being taught to push them down? Well, it takes time. It takes time for you to explore, but you have to make that choice to explore.


Lesley Logan 54:18  

I love this so much, and also, isn't it so funny when we see our partner or our friends, where they come from, and then you're like, oh, that's why you don't sit still. No one is sitting still. And my husband will listen to this when we'll do a recap, but like, hey, babe, do you did you see yourself in that description of her partner? Because, we're going on vacation. And he put he brought the computer to the pool. We brought the computer to the pool. And I was like, I'm gonna shame you. I'm gonna put you on the internet. My husband brought his computer to the pool, everyone. You know, but also, you know it's we're all on this journey. We're all learning the more we can actually take it, take your Be It Action Items, and embody them and use them. I think we can. We all get to grow together, and we can affect so many people's lives. Our bubble of influence will be affected in a positive way. So thank you, Inna for being you and for all that you brought to us and all that you educated us on. We're gonna have to talk again, I'm sure, because I barely, I think we barely touched the surface of all that you know, but y'all make sure you connect with Ina. Make sure you share this episode with a friend who needs to hear it, and let us know which Be It Action Item you use and how that helped you. We would love to hear it. We'd love to celebrate with you. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. 


Lesley Logan 55:36  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


Brad Crowell 56:19  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


Lesley Logan 56:24  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


Brad Crowell 56:28  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


Lesley Logan 56:35  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


Brad Crowell 56:38  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



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