751. Carve Out Space to Architect Your Ambition

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43:19

The illusion of not having enough time is actively sabotaging your biggest goals. In this episode, Lesley Logan sits down with Lacey Newman, a TV host, real estate coach, keynote speaker, and former top 1% luxury agent who pivoted her twenty-year career to focus on helping other women architect their ambition. Lacey breaks down exactly how to conduct an honest daily energy audit, permanently delegate your menial ten-dollar tasks, and stop waiting for external permission to play a bigger game in life. It is time to reclaim your calendar and protect your peace.


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In this episode you will learn about:

  • Overcome the crabs in a bucket mentality limiting your growth.
  • Create mental white space by intentionally leading your daily schedule.
  • Prioritize focused CEO time every morning to drive business forward.
  • Identify and outsource the ten-dollar tasks draining your social battery.
  • Stop waiting for permission and play a bigger game today.


Episode References/Links:


Guest Bio:

Lacey Newman is a top 1% luxury listing agent and leader of The Elevated Living Advisory at Compass and host of The Emmy-nominated and Telly Award winning TV show, The American Dream. Through her rapidly growing coaching program, Lacey shares the proven strategies and mindset up-levels she’s used to go from zero to running a multi-seven figure real estate team. With over 20 years in the industry, Lacey guides agents to magnetically attract high-end clients, create captivating, consistent content that boosts their brand visibility, and build a business that supports the life they truly want to live.

Through her speaking engagements, media appearances, and podcasting, Lacey shares inspiring stories of overcoming her own struggles as a single mom in real estate to building a business that is aligned, solid and sustainable, while helping others do the same. Lacey is determined to help as many women as she can build a business they can be proud of, that they love, and that can give them the security and freedom that only comes with having something that is all your own.

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Episode Transcript:

Lacey Newman 0:00  

Time is not found. Time is made, and we make the time for what is important to us. And so, first, it just starts with having a really hard conversation with yourself, which is how important is this? Because if you look at your calendar, and it will tell you what your priorities are.


Lesley Logan 0:17  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.


Lesley Logan 1:00  

Be It, babe, get ready. This conversation is so fun. It's two gregarious introverts talking about how you can be until you see it in the best way get out of your own way, manage your time. It's so fun. If you have ever been someone who says I don't have time for that, this is the conversation you have to listen to. I'm super super excited about this! I'm so glad this guest and I met. I can't even wait to hang out with her again, and I'm excited for you to get all these gems. So here is Lacey Newman.


Lesley Logan 1:29  

All right, Be It babe, this is going to be a lot of fun. Our guest and I, I can tell, first of all, we have a mutual friend who's already been on the podcast, so we are going to be fast friends, and this is going to be an awesome conversation. It's going to inspire you to take some action, Lacey Newman. Thanks for being here. Can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at?


Lacey Newman 1:45  

Yes, thank you for having me, Lesley. I'm so excited. When I heard the name of your podcast, I was, well that couldn't be more perfect, because.


Lesley Logan 1:52  

It's pretty amazing.


Lacey Newman 1:54  

Yeah, I'm like, this is so perfect because this is my jam. This is the life I live right now. I live in Nashville, Tennessee. I am a solo mom of two teenagers. I've got a 17-year-old daughter and an almost 15-year-old son. So that is wild. We could talk for an hour just about that if you wanted. But I have recently gone through a massive life transition. I left a 20-year career as a real estate agent, where I built a huge business, top 1% in the country, really top of my market, selling luxury real estate here in Nashville, and started the beginning of a pivot that I didn't really know was happening until I was kind of in the middle of it, and all of a sudden, completely changed everything about my life and my business, and so that's been super, super fun. I am now helping other women architect their ambition because I learned through the process of building my business, leaving my business, all of the things that I've done is that you achieving what you want to achieve does not happen by accident, and there are no shortcuts, and there are no hacks, and it's all about doing the work. And so when I heard about you, and I heard about this podcast, I was, this is perfect because I am a tactics girly all day long.


Lesley Logan 3:12  

Yeah, I also love that architect in there because it's true. You can wake up and go, oh wow, I'm over here on this journey, and this thing is taking me further. But if you don't take the time to actually design it out, you are going to have that house built on the wrong foundation, or you're not going to get the things that you want. You do need to be an architect for it; otherwise, things can sort of happen, but they don't happen the way that you want, and then you have to go back and fix it anyway. So I think this is really cool what you're doing. 20 years that is a long time. I've hit 20 years doing what I'm doing. I can't believe that because time flies. I'm sure people probably questioned what you were doing. You were leaving this successful career, you make a ton of money, and you've got kids. Like, how could you do that? Did you get a lot of judgy questions?


Lacey Newman 3:52  

Oh, not only did I get the judgy questions, I also got it most recently from my 17-year-old daughter. So she was in trouble, and so she was not in her finest moment. She was currently grounded, and she was just trying to stick it to me in any way possible. And so she told me that my career pivot was selfish. And what was I going to do? Post on Instagram for the next 20 years?


Lesley Logan 4:17  

Yeah, maybe. 


Lacey Newman 4:19  

Maybe. I don't know. It's possible. So yeah, I mean that's the whole thing. Is when you are doing anything, people are going to have thoughts about it. And you know, I heard this a long time ago. Crabs in the bucket. Do you know about crabs in the bucket?


Lesley Logan 4:34  

Tell me about crabs in the bucket. 


Lacey Newman 4:35  

Okay. So you're at the beach and you throw a bunch of crabs in a bucket on the seashore, and one crab tries to claw its way out to get over the edge of the bucket. Well, what happens? All the other crabs grab him and try to pull him back in the bucket, and that is what happens when you try to break out of your shell. When you try to break out of your bucket, everything, people, habits, your mindset, the universe tests you and tries to keep you in the same place that you were, and so you know it really does require very, very intentional focus and strategy to make big changes because we are programmed to stay the same.


Lesley Logan 5:13  

Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay, your 17-year-old is going to regret that someday in her life because she'll realize she's you. 


Lacey Newman 5:18  

She's going to regret it when she hears this podcast. She's mad at me.


Lesley Logan 5:22  

Oh my god! I mean, here's the thing: we all were that 17. We were all you, babe. And also, you know, it's fear, right? She's scared of what that could be for you, and that's where most people are. Those poor crabs don't go on, you don't know what's on the other side of that bucket, so it's safe in the bucket. But it's not safe in the bucket. You're gonna the crabs are going to be food. So I thought that what an interesting visual. I do think we are programmed to stay the same, but as we know, nothing is. Our bodies are different every single day. How we feel is different every single day. Ladies who are listening to this our bodies are very different because it's the perimenopause time. Yeah. So what did you have to tell yourself every day to not get pulled down by a crab? How did you? How did you do that? Because you're swimming against the the current.


Lacey Newman 6:03  

Very much, very much. You know, it's it's a lot of things. I think that I used to say that you had to start with a vision and then build a strategy. And I've recently actually changed my tune on that because the problem that I had myself, and what the problem that so many women that I work with have is that they know there is something more for them. They know there's something that they want to do, but they don't even have any idea what it is. They couldn't have a vision if their life depended on it, because their entire life is dominated by their kids, their clients, their to-do list, all the expectations that they put on themselves, over-functioning for other people, they don't really even have the space for vision, and so it's really easy to go, "Oh, know your why." Well, most people can't know their why because they don't even have the freaking time to ask themselves what their why is? 


Lesley Logan 7:01  

Yeah, it's a big deal. It's a big. It's a deep question. It takes a long time to answer that. I think I was teaching 10 years before I figured why do I do this.


Lacey Newman 7:09  

1000% So what I really recently started doing and realizing is that yes, in a perfect world, if we had nothing else going on, we would go you know onto the top of a mountain and sit there and meditate and come up with what our big vision is for our life and our business, but that is not how the real world works for most of us. So instead, it really has to start with you aligning your time and leading your time so that you can create the mental white space in your life for you to even ask yourself those big questions. And so that's what I'm really focused in on right now is how to create the space, which starts with a strategy of how do you lead your time instead of letting your time and your energy be led by everybody else. Your inbox, your text messages, your social media, your client list, the kid who busts in the door and wants a ride to the pool. I mean, everybody is pulling at our attention, and we are inundated with noise. And if we don't put a structure and a system around how we lead our own time, then we don't even have a chance to ask ourselves the bigger questions.


Lesley Logan 8:13  

Lacey, I couldn't agree more. It's really interesting. I meet so many people. I coach businesses. I have people who do Pilates with me, and the thing that they'll say is, "I don't have time. I don't have time. I don't have time." And they'll look at me. You don't have kids, so that's why you have time. And it's I have three businesses, and so while I don't have anyone yelling my name, there's still pressures. We still all have different things, and what we we choose to make time for is the thing. And yes, there's for those with infants, please feed your babies. That's a different story, but I do think sometimes we have told ourselves we don't have enough time, so much we believe it, and so we don't actually look to see what could be changed, or how we could delegate things off, or how we make the 15 and 17-year-old take care of themselves a little bit more because they supposedly want more time and more responsibility to go out with their friends. Maybe they have to make their own lunches.


Lacey Newman 9:02  

Maybe okay. So, I have a couple things to say about this. This is so huge. So, number one, I taught my children that there's no such thing as selective maturity. Okay? So if you're mature enough to go to the lake with a group of friends for the weekend, then you're mature enough to go pick up the dry cleaning for me. If you are independent and responsible enough to, my son's in boarding school, to live by yourself in another state and attend a basketball boarding school, you're responsible enough to take out the trash without me asking.


Lesley Logan 9:35  

Yeah.


Lacey Newman 9:36  

And so that's one thing teenagers especially try to get away with is they want all this independence and they claim to be so grown up, but you can't, it can't be selective. So for any moms or dads that are out there listening, you may claim this as your own and tell your kids there is no such thing as selective maturity. And they, you know it's a give and take. I remember when my mom, my mom actually, went to a parenting class back in the '80s when I was a little kid, and she said, my mom grew up in a small town in Georgia, and she said that she went to this parenting class, and she was on the edge of her seat from this speaker, where everybody else in the room, all these other moms, were like clutching their pearls because they couldn't handle what this woman was saying. But this woman basically said, "Do not do anything for your kids that they can do for themselves." And people were horrified. And my mom, being a single mom at the time, was like, "Yes, this is what I was waiting for somebody to give me permission to do." And so she came home. She took my brother and I to the washing machine. She said, "Can you reach those knobs?" I could reach them. My brother could reach him if he stood on his tiptoes, and she was all right. Great, I'm going to teach you both how to do your laundry.


Lesley Logan 10:45  

Yeah.


Lacey Newman 10:46  

And she never did our laundry again.


Lesley Logan 10:48  

Yeah, I love I love your mom, and also I'm thinking back to what I remember my parents did for me, which I don't think that they did with my siblings. Which is my dad used to pour a bowl of cereal dry in a bowl and put the milk in a glass, and there's a picture of me at three years old, opening the fridge, taking out the bowl and the milk, and putting the milk into the thing, and sitting down and eating it, so that my mom could sleep. I could just make my own breakfast, you know. And when we were safe enough to learn how to make pancakes, she's like, okay, so when the bubble pops and it doesn't sink down, you flip it over, right? And so it made me a very independent child who was very autonomous and did some things, and I think that that is important because you know you want them be able to take care of you when you're older, right?


Lacey Newman 11:30  

Yeah. Right, exactly. So okay, I don't want to be a senior citizen being taken care of by some incompetent adult. Yeah, completely, completely.


Lesley Logan 11:39  

Okay, but how do people start auditing their time? Because this is where I think people get stuck. Okay, I have my time. Do they use a tool? Do they map it out? What? Where do you look and see where you're there's time that you could actually turn into this blank space, thinking about what you want?


Lacey Newman 11:54  

Absolutely. Well, I want to double-click on something you said before I went off on my tangent about teenagers. But you know, people say I don't have enough time. That is probably the thing I hear most from women that I work with, and it's just BS. I mean, it is. Everyone has the same 24 hours in the day. How you use it is vastly different. I mean, look at the most successful people on the planet; they don't have any more time than you do, and they're getting you know quantum light years more worth of work done every day, and so it's time is not found, time is made, and we make the time for what is important to us. And so first, it just starts with having a really hard conversation with yourself, which is how important is this? Because if you look at your calendar and it will tell you what your priorities are. Now here's where a lot of people get stuck. A lot of you know moms running businesses and you substitute your dogs or your husband or whatever from children. This goes for everybody. You look at your calendar and it shows you what your priorities are. And most people that I work with, they look at it and they go, "Well, it's my clients and my children, as it should be. No, it's not. It needs to be you on there first, because when you put yourself first, when you choose yourself, then you have so much more to give to your clients, so much more to give to your children. If you focus on being reactive to other people's needs instead of your own, then you you and your business and your life will always be capped out at your own physical capacity.


Lesley Logan 13:30  

Yeah.


Lacey Newman 13:30  

And that's what the whole thing is here: is how do you get more done with the amount of time that you have? So the first thing is stop telling yourself the lie that you don't have enough time. You have to go make the time, and then you know, for me, it gets really tactical, and I actually have something, if your listeners are interested, they can DM me on Instagram and just tell me DM me the word hours, and I will send you this little training that I put together. I've got a download of exactly how I lay out my week, and it starts with having that intentional morning time. I don't have some elaborate morning routine, but I have some really firm boundaries on what noise I allow into my space during that time. And for me, I'm exercising because if it doesn't happen first thing in the morning, it's not happening at all. I'm spending time with my kids. I'm not getting in my inbox, I'm not responding to text messages. I'm not answering phone calls before a certain time. I'm doing the things that I need to do to be able to hear myself think. And then from there, the first thing on my calendar every day when I sit down at my desk is my CEO time, and that's where I sit down. I look at what did I get accomplished yesterday. What needs to be moved over to today? Because maybe I mean I've never gotten to the end of a to-do list. I don't know about you. So there's always something else to turn over. And then look at if I got one thing done today, what is the most important thing for me to get done today? And do that first. And so on my calendar, the. That I block my time out. I have North Star focus time for the first two hours every morning.


Lesley Logan 15:06  

Cool. 


Lacey Newman 15:06  

And so I sit down and I do what is most important to me and my business first before I answer anybody's email. Before I call anybody back, I schedule my client appointments in the afternoon because I know for myself I'm most focused first thing in the morning.


Lesley Logan 15:21  

Yeah.


Lacey Newman 15:21  

I got my caffeine. I've gotten a good night's sleep. I need my brain power in the morning to do what's important to me. And then in the afternoon, I'm better for errands. I'm better for conversations. It doesn't require so much focus. And so really paying attention to your own natural rhythms, not only on a daily basis, but on a weekly basis, on a monthly basis, as you alluded to, we especially as women need to be so cognizant of we don't get up every day and have the same social battery, the same focus battery, 24/7. We are not robots, and so really learning to work within your own natural rhythms and go this is the best time for me to do this, this is the best time for me to do that. Or this time of the month, these are the types of things I'm going to do in my business. And these times of the month, I'm just going to take it off my plate because it's not going to get done anyway. 


Lesley Logan 16:13  

Yeah, I love this so much. I have a similar strategy of how I do my time, and I change mine with the seasons a little bit. I've got three different types of lideal schedules because it depends if I'm in town, out of town, you know, on the road, and it is this interesting thing. I can tell when I'm hitting burnout if I ask myself, "Did I actually do my gemstones time? I call it gemstones time. Oh no, I haven't been doing that for two weeks. Well, no wonder I'm burnt out because I'm not. I'm actually just doing the reaction stuff and not doing the thing that is the CEO time is the creative time to move things forward, and it really is this incredible thing when you shift things to work with your energy levels. It's that compounded interest that really you get more done. And I also will say you are a better person to your children, your clients, your partner when you work like this, when you operate your life like this. I don't. I am. I can tell you from watching parents who said all they did, they did everything for us and and their jobs because they needed to make money. I grew up very poor and they did all these things for us. They were not full of energy and excitement and love every day. They were exhausted. They were absolutely exhausted. So I'm not saying that their intentions weren't good, but the results of it meant that they were tired fighting parents because, of course, they were. They weren't, you know. And when I was older, teenagers, they started going to the gym in the morning together. All of a sudden, you started to see a whole different side of people, and so it's not working out as the key, but taking time for yourself is the key, whatever that is. And so I, I too have a block in my morning, and the only thing that's consistent is that I get up, do my cold plunge, read this little journal thing that gives me, it's called A Journey to the Heart (inaudible) or the soul, and I love just reading it every day. And then I take my dogs for a walk, and then after that, between that walk and when I go to work, it's either my workouts or it's some red light or it's whatever I want to do. But it's it's that same thing. It's been intentional time where other people can't be in my space.


Lacey Newman 18:02  

Exactly. That's what it's all about. It doesn't matter what you do; it just matters that nobody else is there. Yeah. So how do you


Lesley Logan 18:08  

Yeah. So how do you go? How do you go, Lacey, from, or how do your clients go from? Okay, this the schedule that doesn't work for them that they think does, and then the ideal schedule that they're trying to create. Because I think some people want to flip it like a switch, and it's I don't know that that's possible. So how do you how do you live with the in between?


Lacey Newman 18:26  

So one of the tools that I use is a simple time and energy audit. So I ask my clients to write down, do it in their notes app on their phone on a piece of paper if they use a hard planner, whatever's the easiest possible thing. But write down every single thing you do for two weeks, and not only how long did it take you, but how much energy did it either give you or take you? Because there are things talking to you right now actually gives me energy. I will get off this call, and I'll feel even better than I did before I got on it. But when I go review this legal agreement that's sitting in my inbox, I'm not going to feel better when I'm done. Other than I'll feel glad that it's over with, but it's it's going to take it's going to be a drain. And so, being really aware of what are you doing, how much time are you spending on it, and is it giving you energy or is it taking energy from you? And what every single person who does this realizes really quickly is how much time they're spending on what I call $10 tasks.


Lesley Logan 19:24  

Yeah.


Lacey Newman 19:25  

This is something that theoretically you could pay my 17-year-old daughter 10 bucks an hour to do for you, and it is what most of the women I work with are spending most of their time doing. Yeah, and these things are below their pay grade, they are not energy giving. They are just complete time sucks, but they are the things that have to be done. And so, it's about getting really honest with yourself first and realizing, I am never going to grow my business. I am never going to reach this goal. Maybe it's a fitness goal. Maybe I'm never going to hit this amount of money. If that's what your goal is, whatever it is you're working toward, if you are not focusing your attention on the things that bring you the biggest return, you're never going to get there. If you are, you know, trying to hit a body fat percentage or muscle mass, and you never did legs, it's going to be a lot harder, right? Like we know, leg day is a better bang for your buck than arms, and so you have to focus your attention on the things that make a difference. And what most people are focusing the majority of their attention on are just the menial things that don't actually move the needle.


Lesley Logan 20:33  

Right? But they get to check a box, Lacey.


Lacey Newman 20:35  

They get to check a box, and that the dopamine hit.


Lesley Logan 20:38  

Yeah, that is the sign that you have ADHD you should go get that diagnosed. 


Lacey Newman 20:42  

Yeah, right. But we all, I mean, we all present that way at this point in time. If you are a busy middle-aged woman with a lot going on, you are going to present like that. 


Lesley Logan 20:52  

Also, even if you don't, everybody does things for the dopamine because they get to look what I did. I did that. I moved this thing, but you really just did busy work, not business work. And it's just, it's hard because I think people have been also raised. If you didn't finish something, you can't celebrate it, right? You have to to get the trophy. You have to have done the thing, and it's there's a lot of little steps along the way that if you actually just take a look at it and you take a look at what you're supposed to be doing in it. You know, I have had people side eye me when we say we have a guy who picks up the dog poop every Monday, and they're, what? Right. It's $15, and then the landscaper can come and do what he does on Tuesday morning. And there, I don't have to do. Do you know how many times I was running out there when I saw the red truck? Fuck, the landscaper is here. I have to run out there and do it because why? That I don't want to do. It has to get done. And so, and you know how much I charge to do a session with me? Well, me going out there looking for this stuff is much cheaper than paying someone to do it, and now it's not taking up brain space. I'm not panicking when I see the landscaper come. All that stuff. My husband's-it's our first house. I'm gonna mow the lawn up. You're gonna mow the lawn. You're gonna mow the lawn in Las Vegas. You're gonna mow that lawn. And we moved in the summertime, and he did it one time? He's gonna listen to this. Maybe maybe he did it twice, but it really feels like one. And I was, so that landscaper, you know, he's only about $100 a week. Do you want to just call him?


Lacey Newman 22:13  

1,000% I don't go to the grocery store.


Lesley Logan 22:16  

Either.


Lacey Newman 22:16  

I don't cook. I don't clean my house. I don't wash my car. I mean, I can do all of these things, but it's way more effective and more efficient for me to pay somebody else to do it than for me to do it myself. If and here's the big if, if I spend that time doing something that will actually make me more money.


Lesley Logan 22:38  

Well, there's that, and also I'm sure you'll agree with me. If those things bring you joy and energy, knock yourself out. Go for it. But I find that a lot of people use. Well, I have to get this organized before I can do this thing, and I actually think that's just another excuse. You're scared of doing the thing because the thing is going to take you to a place where you don't know. The thing is actually going to take you out of that crab bucket, and you're you are yourself being the other crabs pulling yourself in because it's safe. But really, it's I, of course I like a clean a desk and a clean house and everything organized. But also, if I spend my time doing that every single day to pick up after my my ADHD self, I'm not going to get the things done. And then the other thing I'll just say is, I didn't hire, and I'm sure Lacey's the same way. I didn't hire each one of these people who helps us on our team all at the same time. It was one thing at a time, and it's based on which one gets me the most time back. But also, my money is going back into the community. Every single one of those people lives or works in this neighborhood. My housekeeper gets to pick up her kids and take them to school. She actually does every house on this block, and she loves it because she has her own business. And so you have to think about it. It's not we're giving away things that are gross or awful. We're actually taking people who have the idea of doing that because that brings them joy, and they're really good at it. And we're allowing them to be empowered, and their families be empowered, and then we all get to win.


Lacey Newman 23:55  

Exactly, exactly. And in you know, one of the things that just really stood out as you were talking about that is if it does bring you joy, please do it. If you love to cook, absolutely. We don't want to take away things that really do bring us joy just because just because it's something that maybe isn't like the biggest revenue driver in our business. But the other thing that what you were saying made me realize is that there are so many times I hear women who they really need to hire help. Maybe they need to hire an assistant. They need to start building out their team. And what they say to me is, as soon as I get all my SOPs created, then I can make the hire. As soon as I get such and such organized, then and I can make the hire. And I'm always, it will absolutely never happen. Exactly what you just said. That is a delay tactic from doing the actual thing because you don't create the SOP and then hire the person to run the play. You hire the person, say, "Here's all my crazy chaos, make it make sense, and build me an SOP." And you let that person come into your world. We call them junk drawer meetings. I love this. I'll get on with my team, and I'm okay, junk drawer, and I will just download all of the things that are scattered around that make no sense in my head, and then my team does the same thing, and then we organize them, and then we put in a plan of attack of how we're going to get all these things done. But you've got to have somebody to help you do that because for me, I may have 25 things swimming around in my mind that I'm never going to get to, and as long as Meryl is right there for me to say, "Hey, I've got all these things, that girl can knock all of them off my list in one day, and I would never get to them. But so many women have this limiting belief around I have to have my act together before I can hire someone to help me, and I'm no, no, no, no. You hire someone to help you get your act together.


Lesley Logan 25:47  

Yeah, I mean, I think especially that's a perception thing. You're a little worried about what they're going to say. They want a job as an assistant. They want to be your assistant. They want to do the thing, right? You know, it's like when the people who clean before the housekeeper comes up.


Lacey Newman 26:00  

Oh, I don't do that.


Lesley Logan 26:02  

I watch my husband doing the dishes the night before. She's coming tomorrow. She's coming tomorrow. So if you don't need that dish, I when I was a coffee shop employee, when I was washing dishes, they said as long as there's dirty dishes, you have a job. That's job security. And so to me, like that is her. But I remember when I hired my first assistant, being a little embarrassed that I didn't know how to do the things I was asking her to do, and she's so great because she had been an assistant for a long time already. Lesley, it is my job to do these things. So stop asking me if I can do something. I will tell you if I can't do something. And I was, oh right, I hired you to do this, okay. And so I I realized it was just a limiting belief I had that I had to know what I was asking her to do. But really, when you hire people to help you, you can just be honest with them. I don't know how this goes. Here's how I want it to go. Here's what my expectations are, and then see what they do and let them impress you because it's kind of like going back to the conversation. Don't do things for your kids; they can do for themselves. Let these people help you. They want to, and you all get to make a bigger impact together.


Lacey Newman 27:00  

 Exactly. And you know, at this point in my life, if I don't know how to do something, unless it is hugely important to my business, AI, I'm learning. Okay. I am focused my time and attention on learning and implementing AI because it's that big of a deal. Everything else, if I don't already know how to do it, I'm not going to go learn. I'm going to say, "Team, you don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. Y'all go figure it out. Yeah, it's not for me as the CEO to go learn and then teach my team. And that's another thing I hear all the time. I've got to go learn this thing and then teach my people. No, you don't need to know it. You just need to say, "This is what I want to happen. Come back to me with a plan of how we make that work.


Lesley Logan 27:43  

Yeah, I think it's and it's probably just years of how women are raised. It's just a little different. We think we've done all the things for all the people all the time, so we kind of have to keep doing that caretaking. And actually, you get to yeah save that for the things you want to caretake over. You know, you actually want to caretake over your clients or your dreams or your people in your life, but there are people who can do that. And I, I will say, I am really, really grateful for the things that I had to do on my own when I started my business. I had to learn how Canva worked. I had to learn how to schedule a YouTube video. I had to learn all those things, and now I don't have to do those things. So you know, there's, there's, there's different stages in our life, but when we make this excuse to hold ourselves back, it's not fun, and it does lead to burnout. And then the world loses a person who is uniquely qualified to do the thing in the way that you did it. You know?


Lacey Newman 28:29  

Exactly.


Lesley Logan 28:30  

Yeah, I think maybe it's also really understanding the people that you're trying to help. Every time you hold yourself back or say you don't have time, you're actually keeping them in pain a little bit longer. Danielle Pink said something on a podcast that I heard 16 years ago, and I've never forgotten it. He said, "If what you do takes people out of pain, it solves a problem they have, and it takes them out of pain. You have a moral obligation to sell it to them." And after I heard that, a moral obligation to sell it to them. After I heard that, I was like, every time I don't do the thing that could help this person that is in pain, I am actually leaving them in pain. I'm holding them there, and so it may it changed how it changed how I treated time and what I did and how I charged because it made me think about the actual user of the product as opposed to myself and what people thought of me. Right?


Lacey Newman 29:16  

Yes, yes, exactly. And that, and I mean that goes for for so many people in sales, you know, one of the biggest things that I hear from women I work with is I don't want to be salesy, and they think that putting themselves out there, showing up as a business on social media, letting people know that you provide a service, they any sort of stepping out and presenting yourself that way feels salesy to a lot of us that that don't have that conditioning of it's really not sales; it's service. And if you think of it from that way, that that is a person who needs your help, and if they don't know that you can solve their problem, then you're actually doing them a disservice.


Lesley Logan 29:56  

Yeah.


Lacey Newman 29:56  

And you know people who are offended by what you're. Offering, or they are not interested in it, or they make fun of you for having a job. Those people were never going to buy from you anyway. Yeah, they were never going to work from you anyway. So who cares what they think? But if you have all of those critics in your head that are telling you, "Oh, I shouldn't show up. I shouldn't offer my services. I shouldn't open this business. I shouldn't share my gifts with the world because I've got you know four people from high school, their voice in the back of my head telling me that this is embarrassing. Then you're keeping yourself from being able to really do what you're here to do is the way that I the way I really believe


Lesley Logan 30:34  

it. Yeah, I think so. I think we can be our own our own worst enemy. I mean, obviously people are listening to this. Well, it's easy for you to say you two are obviously very confident women, and I I joke around. Oh, I just give myself a lot of pep talks, and I do a lot of things scared. But how do you combat those voices, or those comments, or those fears? Is there, do you journal? Do you have a music that you listen to? Do you have a mantra you say? How do you do that?


Lacey Newman 30:58  

I mean, all of the above. You know, I wouldn't classify myself as someone who was just born overly confident. I'm an introvert who pretends to be an extrovert really well.


Lesley Logan 31:08  

Yeah.


Lacey Newman 31:10  

I would rather be in the bathtub than about any other place on the planet, and so I really do have to get myself in the right frame of mind to put myself out there. I didn't show up as my true self on social media for years because I was worried about what people would think. And even yesterday, I I posted a post and I sent it to my assistant beforehand. And I was, I feel really vulnerable about this. And she was that's ridiculous, but also that is what you tell people to do, Lacey. You have to post it if you feel vulnerable about it, you have to post it anyway because that is what you, and I was exactly right. You're exactly right. So I'm just saying that if you sit here and think, if you're listening to this and you sit here and think that you're different than Lesley or I, you're not. We are exactly the same. I put myself in rooms that scare me. I go hang out with people doing things that I want to do that are way above what I'm currently doing, and then I realize they're just normal people. And you know, all really all that the the only difference between where I am in my business and where somebody else might be in theirs, or where you are in yours, compared to Lesley, is time and focus. Yeah, and it's just the compounding results of commitment to doing the same stuff over and over and over and over again. You know, this is where I think that social media, one of the millions of ways that social media harms us, but specific to women like us who are building businesses, is there's a lot of people out there putting out content that make it look like it's fast and easy. I agree. It's seven figures a year, and it's so fast and it's so easy. And all you have to do is download my $7 template. Bullshit. It's not fast and it's not easy.


Lesley Logan 32:52  

No, and you don't want it to be fast or easy. It goes for everything, no diet, no fitness goal, no house, no renovation, and no relationship is fast and easy. I want my meals to be fast and easy, and even then I have to work hard to make sure that they're healthy at the same time. Nothing is.


Lesley Logan 33:09  

Well, I was going to say, and if they are fast and easy, they probably taste like shit.


Lesley Logan 33:13  

Yeah, exactly. 


Lacey Newman 33:14  

That's the thing. It's like you can't have you can't have fast, easy, and good at the same time. 


Lesley Logan 33:20  

I agree. Everything takes a little longer than we want, but it is happening. And I will say, definitely, I agree. Go to be in those rooms. Go, go learn from people who are ahead of it, and you might be. You might even find that they don't even know what they're doing. I've been in places going, I'm doing the same thing you're doing. How are you further along? And then you discover, oh, when they said that they had these big, massive launches that were six figures. It actually spent $90,000 in ads to get to a six figure launch, and so their profits are. You discover a lot of things, and you realize, okay, I'm actually doing better than they are. So put your big girl boots on and celebrate that, and keep going. Sometimes you actually discover a lot of things. You can either be inspired, or empowered, or educated, or you can go. Whoa, I am not giving myself enough credit. Either way, you win.


Lacey Newman 34:06  

Exactly, exactly. But unless you put yourself in those positions to know the answers to those questions, you can sit over here on your side of the internet and think that you're behind.


Lesley Logan 34:15  

Yeah, yeah, and also


Lacey Newman 34:16  

Which not true.


Lesley Logan 34:17  

I love that you said you're an introvert too. I think most people don't realize who the introverts really are because we we can cosplay as an extrovert, and then what you don't see is the four hour morning routine that we recharge with. That's just the thing, and that's what I have. That's what I've had to do, and and and people don't realize it. But the other reality is being introvert does not make you shy, right? Shy, you might have a fear of people. There might be something going on there. It's a whole different thing. Introvert and extrovert is just how you see energy, how you get recharged. So, but I have a lot of people who are Lesley, I don't want to go out there and tell people what I do because I'm just really shy. And I coach people to teach Pilates. You teach people Pilates, so you're going to talk to them at some point. How come you can talk to them in your space, but you can't talk about there? Oh, you're afraid of being rejected. Okay. Well, at least now we know, and then you can go out there. But you were in real estate before this. You got rejected probably a million times.


Lacey Newman 35:06  

Oh, all the time. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You can get hired, and you can you can be accepted and then rejected in the same day. I mean, it's yeah. Rejection is all about it, and so and yeah, and it's just. I think that it is. It's just like anything else. It's getting in reps. You know, I was I was actually listening to one of your earlier podcasts, and you and the guests were talking about getting dumped, and or or dumping someone.


Lesley Logan 35:34  

Yeah, and you were


Lacey Newman 35:35  

saying, "Oh, it's so hard to break up with somebody I've never. And I'm like, "I've broken up with so many people. It's so easy."


Lesley Logan 35:41  

Yeah.


Lacey Newman 35:42  

It's like anything else. It's it doesn't matter what it is if you do it enough times, you get it down and know exactly what to do. And you know, my breakup script is, hey, I've just got to be honest. This isn't the connection that I'm looking for.


Lesley Logan 35:54  

Yeah. Well, also look at. 


Lacey Newman 35:56  

And then you just shut up, and that's the end of it. You know, you can train yourself to handle any awkward situation if you get really clear on what it is that is the truth, and you say it in a short, succinct way, and then you shut up.


Lesley Logan 36:12  

Well, and I think so. That's so funny because so I'm teaching. I have a teacher training program for new Pilates instructors, and so I'm running the beta group right now. And these girls who are auditing with me, they're like, "Well, they're saying a lot of words. They're trying to correct his lines. I said, "Well, it's their first time talking out loud with this stuff, so they're saying way too much, right? My first time breaking up with someone, I don't know how to do it, and I try to do it succinctly. It was words out. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. But you have to go through that, and then you, and then they do it again, and then they realize I can say it faster this way, and all of a sudden it becoms I can say the thing in four words that's taking them 10 right now, but it just takes reps, like you said. And I think we have to get out of our own way and do the reps, and also maybe just know that everyone has to start somewhere. Everyone starts somewhere, right?


Lacey Newman 36:53  

Yes, and nobody comes out being great at it. You've got to suck at it first, and I, that's what holds so many people back, is we just don't want to be, it's not even that we're afraid of failing; it's that we're afraid of being seen failing.


Lesley Logan 37:06  

Right. 


Lacey Newman 37:07  

Nobody's, we're all fine to fail, but we just don't want people to know.


Lesley Logan 37:11  

Well, you you make an excellent point there, Lacey, and also talking about social media. You're seeing people who have thousands and thousands of followers say it so succinctly, and you're I do it like that. But the reason you didn't see them in the beginning is because they had no followers, so their algorithm wasn't showing you that. So just so you know, no one can see you fail right now. So just go do it.


Lacey Newman 37:29  

Nobody's looking at you either. Exactly.


Lesley Logan 37:31  

I had a great coach saying, "If you can't talk to 10 people in the room, how can you have a goal of talking to 10,000 people? Go learn how to do a speech in front of 10 people because you want to fail there, you want to get your reps in there, not in front of 10,000 people.


Lacey Newman 37:46  

Yeah, and so people beat themselves up for being small or not having a huge following yet, or not having their business be exactly where it is. But it's just where you are in the moment, and every every opportunity creates an opportunity to to get better, and it's all just about putting in the work. And people want to skip it.


Lesley Logan 38:07  

Lacey, I could keep talking to you. I just looked at the time. Holy fuck! Clearly, have to have you back and talk about more things because what you're doing is is is literally helping people be it till they see it. So I love that so much. So we're gonna take a brief break, find out people can find you, follow you, work with you.


Lesley Logan 38:21  

All right, Lacey, where do you hang out? Where can they get all these tools that you've been spouting out?


Lacey Newman 38:27  

Yes. Okay. So hang out with me on Instagram. That is where I live. My handle is @HeyLaceyNewman. So come say hey. And yeah, if you want to see exactly how I'm managing my time, send me the word "hours" in my DM, and I'll send it over to you. I'll give you the exact download of the way that I'm blocking my schedule. It's not to say that my way is the best way, but I want you to see how I do it and give it, make it be a permission slip for you to design one that puts yourself at the center of it because that's what it's all about.


Lesley Logan 38:58  

I love this so much. Yes, that's so easy to do, everyone. I feel like you've given us a lot of great stuff, but we we have to do our bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us?


Lacey Newman 39:07  

Absolutely. Okay. So number one, how to Be It Till You See It? Vision, and as we talked about earlier, you've got to carve out the space to have the room to have the vision. So that's kind of a double edged sword there. But number one, you've got to have vision. Number two, you've got to have focus. I call it a north star in my business. What is the one thing that, if you do nothing else today, you will continue moving the business forward? Number three, get in the room that scares the shit out of you-the one you feel like you do not belong in. That's the one you should be in. Figure out how to get in there. Number four, and we didn't talk about this, and I could talk about this for an hour. Stop waiting for permission. If there is something that you want to do, if there is someone that you want to be, that desire, that ambition, that drive that you have in yourself is the only reason you should do it. Is the only reason you need to do it. You don't need anybody else's permission. You don't need anybody else's validation. If that drive and desire is there in you, that is to me a calling. And finally, play to win. Do not play to not lose. And this is something that I had to learn the hard way because playing to not lose looks really responsible. It looks really safe. It looks really mature. Playing to win, like you just said, those people who are having big giant launchers and spending a lot of money on ads, they are playing to win. Okay, you cannot sit here and go, "I'm going to run my business on a shoestring and not have any employees, and look how profitable I am. Yeah, you might be really profitable, but you're never going to scale. So based on where you want to go, what you want to do, if you've got big goals, you have to play a big game, and that means making yourself uncomfortable and putting it out there in a way that you probably never thought you possibly could.


Lesley Logan 41:00  

I do love this. Thanks. This is great. These are so fun. There's so many good ones in there, and I'm, great reminders, and also, hopefully, everyone gets a little more excited. It's a great thing to do. I love these listeners so much because every single one of them has people in their lives that they can make an impact with, and so just all the things you've said, Lacey, if it makes them double or triple that in a way, we just made the world a much better place. So, thank you for being here. 


Lacey Newman 41:25  

That's what it's all about. 


Lesley Logan 41:26  

Thanks for giving us the honest dose of wisdom, and we'll have to have you back to talk about permission because I do think people are waiting for permission slips, and we need to figure that out. What happened? What school did they learn this in? We've got to unravel that. So we will we will definitely talk with you later on that. So Lacey Newman, thank you so much. Everyone, go DM her "hours" and then also let her know what your favorite takeaway is. Right? That's a wonderful way to make someone's day, and also to help you realize that what you took away from this. Share this with a girlfriend who needs this talk, who's got someone pulling her crab back into a bucket. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.


Lesley Logan 42:02  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read in another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


Brad Crowell 42:44  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


Lesley Logan 42:49  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


Brad Crowell 42:54  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


Lesley Logan 43:01  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


Brad Crowell 43:04  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



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