719. Reclaim Your Calm When Your Brain Won’t Stop Buzzing

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19:44

You can't be it till you see it while your nervous system is running the show. In this part two of the Regulation Series, Lesley gets practical about calming a dysregulated nervous system, walking through top-down tools and bottom-up somatic resets for when your mind won't quiet down. She frames self-trust as the safe place you come back to, and regulation as self-parenting rather than one more thing to discipline yourself into. Whatever your nervous system is carrying today, there is a tool in here to meet it.

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In this episode you will learn about:

  • Prioritize nervous system regulation before making decisions.
  • Understand your autonomic nervous system responses.
  • Cognitive tools to time-box worries and racing thoughts.
  • The somatic tools to practice that calm the body.
  • Build self-trust by honoring the achievements you tend to forget.


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Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

Something that does help me is a brain dump. I will just sit down and write down all the things that are on my mind because there are open tabs in my brain and they're all running. Your computer runs slower when all your tabs are running. 


Lesley Logan 0:39  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.


Lesley Logan 1:22  

Hey, Be It babe! Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It podcast. We are in our second episode of the Regulation series, so if you have, this is your first time listening to us, hi, welcome, and you should go listen to the first one because otherwise this will make no sense. Or you can listen to this one. You know what? I'm a believer of you doing you. So I'm excited because the last episode we talked about not needing more discipline and not another journal and another plan, but really actually having awareness of when we're dysregulated and regulated. Because when we are dysregulated, we cannot be successful, and when we're regulated, we notice it's not about discipline; it's just about showing up, being yourself, being the version of you you always want to be. Right? You are definitely not able to be it till you see it when you are dysregulated, overwhelmed, stressed out, worrying, spiraling, all that stuff, right? 


Lesley Logan 2:07  

So, how do we regulate ourselves when life gets lifey? Because let me just tell you, life gets lifey every day. Every day, life gets lifey. I was having a really kind of solid, awesome day, and then I got some bad news, and so life got lifey today, on a day when it should just be chill, as just chill. Tuesdays are chill days for me, right? So how how do we not let our nervous system run the show? Because I mean, let me tell you right now, if I let my nervous system run the show after that news, I would not be recording this right now. That's the for sure. But because I was able to understand how I was feeling, I was able to take a moment for myself. I was able to do the things I need to do, so that I could come back here and go. You know, I can do this right now. I can do this right now because this matters, too. This matters as much as the other thing that's bothering me matters, right? And I mean, my goodness, every time we open up our Instagrams or emails, there's something there to derail how we feel about ourselves, about what's possible, all that stuff. 


Lesley Logan 3:02  

So now, since we know what was keeping us stuck, how do we actually shift our biology, our brain, our mood in the middle of a crazy day? It might happen multiple times. How do we do that? So the thing I want to take away from this episode is regulate first, decide second. So you know this. I know you know this. I know this. I know you know this. But just in case you need the reminder, we never send an email or make a pivot or critique ourselves in a dysregulated state, right? When you, have you ever? Oh my God! Why this? What the fuck is this happening? And why is that happening? Why is this person doing this?


Lesley Logan 3:39  

And you go to respond, and you you know, it's not the response you want to do. You send it, and you already feel regretful because that's not how you are. It's not how you want to be perceived. It's not how you want people to receive that information. So we need to notice, become aware, and then regulate ourselves before making the next decision. I will also say I heard this other thing that could be really helpful is the instant reaction we have is kind of a pattern how we were raised, trained, the thing that got us to adulthood that made us feel safe, and then oftentimes we're just ah I haven't gotten over that I haven't I still have that problem but actually the second thought you have is the person you want to be. It's the person how you want to react. And so if you can, instead of getting stuck on, I don't want to react, that I hate that I'm reacting like that. And instead you go, "Oh, there's just that old brain, my old thing, trying to run the show." Hold on, I do this one thing over here, and then I'm back to being the person I am, the person I want to be receiving that email, the person I want to be receiving that news, right? So, regulate first, decide second. 


Lesley Logan 4:47  

So we need to we need to talk about your internal landscape, right? We got to talk about your autonomic nervous system. So I'm not a scientist, but a simple explanation of our default survival mode. These are simple. Okay, simple. But you've got blazer, the fight or flight, right? You move fast, you breathe shallow, you get a little snappy. That's you. Something happens, you're ready to take action. You're ready to kick some ass. You also can be a freezer, right? You can freeze or fawn, so you can go numb, right? You can say yes to things you hate, like a fawn response. Oh, I'm so sorry. It's my fault. I did that. It's not you. Calming the person down, but taking yourself down with it, right? So we got to understand that's how things can react, right? Those are the simple versions. And if you are having hormonal shifts, then your threshold for stress is lower. And so, things that didn't bother us 10 years ago could bother us now, and that's okay, right? If you are dealing with just other health stuff, sometimes you get activated a little more quickly. Your threshold is lower. So, those of you who already have a lot on your plate, you know, it can be harder to stay regulated. So I just want. I think it's really important to map out what's your internal landscape. What is your go-to when things aren't going well, right? What is the way that you tend to go? 


Lesley Logan 6:11  

In the last episode, I talked about how I will tend to worry about things I can't control, and then focus on all the things we haven't done either. So I'll just like go, and that's not working, and that's not working. That's not working. And Brad, hold on. We were talking about this one plugin that doesn't work, and now you're talking about 10 things we're still working on. Why are we catastrophizing? That's me, right? Really important that once we once you take a second to go, who am I? How do what? What are the signs that I'm not regulated? So that then you can build your regulation toolkit, right? Your real life regulation toolkit. So these are some tools that could work for you. They might not work for you, but I'm giving a few, right? So and if you come up with your own, let the Be It Pod know, so we can share it with other people on FYF episode. But you can have something like a more like a top down tool, a mental cognitive tool. Some people like time boxing, so worry windows, so this is the idea of something comes up that you want to worry about, and you actually just go, "Oh, I'm going to put that at the 1 p.m. I can worry about that at 1 p.m. but right now I'm working on this.


Lesley Logan 7:11  

That is the idea of parking the car or driving away, postponing the thing, or park and then and and worry, but don't don't try to do think two things at the same time. The thing you're working on and worry. So have some worry windows. That isn't something I could do because I have ADHD and sometimes I you know love to fuck around my calendar. So that's not for me. But it might be for a worry window. And then maybe you don't have it scheduled to worry. But maybe when you start to worry, you're like, you know what? This is gonna be a worry window. So I'm gonna worry about everything right now. I'm going to get all on the table, get out, get out of my heart, get out of my mind. I'm going to set a timer, and now it's done. Right? Something that does help me is a brain dump. So I will just sit down and write down all the things that are on my mind because they're open tabs in my brain, and they're all running, and they are, you know, your computer runs slower when all your tabs are running. So I will go. Okay, hold on. I got too much in my mind. What is everything I think I need to get done? And then you look at the list. holy fuck! That's so many things. No wonder. No wonder I felt dysregulated. No wonder I feel overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed. There's too many things. I had a girlfriend who took all the things that she had to get done and she gave it to her chatbot, and her chatbot goes, "Well, no wonder you're exhausted and feeling overwhelmed. This is enough work for three years." 


Lesley Logan 8:27  

So those were top down. Here's some bottom-up tools. This is more somatic, right? That's stuff you can do that's mental, cognitive, but also you can actually take action on it. Bottom-up tools are for more body. I think these are really great for when the mind really won't quiet down. So there's a five-second psychological sigh. We talked about this a couple times on the pod. It's two quick inhales through the nose and a long exhale through the mouth. It's just in, in, out, in, in through the nose, out, right? Oh my gosh! You do that a couple times, and it literally resets how your body is. If you're weight training and you do a heavy weightlifting set, if you do that afterwards a couple times, it'll reset the whole body. It's crazy. Also, you can do this: if you take your index finger and thumb together and you breathe in, it's more chest. If you take your middle finger and your thumb and you breathe in, it's more diaphragm. If you take your ring finger and your thumb and you breathe in, it's more stomach. And if you take your pinky and your thumb and you breathe in, it's more root, right? So if you find yourself in that dysregulated state and you're taking short breaths, you can go to your pinky and your thumb and just ground yourself down. Ooh, takes so little time. You can do it in one breath. All right. 


Lesley Logan 9:38  

Another thing you can do is just change the physical temperature, so cold water to the face, right? I actually do love my cold plunge. It is set for a woman in perimenopause. It's not 32 degrees, but I do like it because I don't wake up going, "Oh my god, it's rainbows and butterflies! I'm so excited!" I never get enough sleep. I wish I could get eight hours. I can be in bed for eight and I get six and a half. My body just has a really hard time. Seven is really a sweet spot for me. But I still don't wake up going, "Oh, life is great." But I get in that cold plunge, and okay, I can take on this day. I can take on this day, right? Weighted blankets, a firm hug, right? So I have an eye mask that is weighted that I can just put on my eyes. I don't take naps, but I can just put it on my eyes. Or I have a weighted blanket—we have a link for that that I can find for you guys.


Lesley Logan 10:29  

But I have this weighted blanket that I just love. I could just wrap it around me, and I'm okay. It's a big hug, because what I don't want when I'm dysregulated is a hug from somebody else, because I don't want their energy. And then this other one I think could be really helpful: it's like a microdose concept. A lot of people think, "I need a spa day, that'll relax me." Oh my god! I'll tell you right now, what won't relax me is a full spa day. I'll be like, "There's so many things I need to be doing right now. I should be doing these things." So when I'm dysregulated, a spa day is not what I need. What I really have found to be helpful is just taking 90 seconds of intentional breathing between calls, walking around my block, it's a little hard in the summertime, but fall through spring, I can. It takes me 12 minutes to walk around my block, 15 if I take the dog, because they like to smell things. Even on the way out the door: "This day sucks." By the time I get around the corner: "All right, I got this. Right, I got this." You just need some things. I have a Sensate. It's this really cool tool that you can put on your chest, and it really helps regulate your nervous system. There's different Hrz of music you can play. I have found that if I work with this one type of music on, I stay quite focused and a little upbeat, so it keeps me positive. I love having it in the background; I get so annoyed when I have to turn it off. So I find that that can be really helpful when sometimes it's not like you're not doing the tools, but there's just so much life lifeing that you need regular, regulating moments, right? Because you're waiting for results from this thing, and you're anticipating this thing, and then there's this going on, and there's that going on. There's so much going on. It's not just one thing once a day that helps you; it's 10 little things that just keep bringing you back. And so this brings us to self-trust, your future self, your Be It Till You See It self. When you take the time to listen to yourself, you can actually hear your intuition, right? You can hear it, and so if you make listening to your intuition a priority, you'll actually want to do it more. And the thing is that when your brain is buzzing with anxiety, that intuition gets drowned out. It sounds like static, and it's not there. So I would really encourage you to spend time trying to hear your inner voice, your inner intuition, so that you get so obsessed with how helpful that is that you'd rather spend time there than in the dysregulated state that probably feels safe because that's probably how you were raised and that felt safe to you. For me, I know that I will do whatever it is I said I was going to do, not because I'm disciplined, but because I have a history of achievements that I have done because I did the thing that I said I was going to do. And so what I will say is, if you haven't taken time to do a data dump of just how much you have achieved and how much of the things you said you would do that you did do, you need to do that because if you don't, then you don't have self-trust. And if you don't have self-trust, you can't become a safe place for yourself. So no wonder you feel dysregulated. No wonder you don't feel successful. No wonder you think you need more discipline, because you haven't taken the time to honor all of the things that you did. We had a really great guest about resume building, and she talked about making sure you're writing down your achievements. We have FYFs on this podcast. You're supposed to send them in, and if you're not going to send them in, at least write them down. Write your wins down, right?


Lesley Logan 14:05  

My girlfriend wrote down her wins every single week to put them in a jar, and at the end of the year, she took out all 52 and read them, right? And some of them were, oh my god, I forgot I did that. Whatever you need to do to build self trust, you have to do because without that, it's really hard to regulate because you don't have a safe place to come back to, and I'll just say it's really hard to be it till you see it if your current nervous system can't handle baseline stress. So, if you are in a space where just your baseline stress is a lot for you, I really encourage you to take some time to get honest about what is it that you are really responsible for. What can we let go of? What can you say? I know I said yes to this, but I need to delay that. What can we postpone? What boundaries can we put in place so you have a container of stress that you can actually handle? Life is. Stressful. Stress also builds diamonds, guys. So stress is not bad. Stress also builds stronger bones. Stress is how you build stronger muscles. So stress is not bad, but we need to get your nervous system to a space that can handle your baseline stress. And then when it comes to being it till you see it, taking the time to understand who is a version of you that you want to be, and how do they handle it? What do they do? What actions do they take? Can you take any of those actions right now? Can you do a version of that right now? We can't do all of that, but you can do a version of it. If you think that when you have more money, you'll take time off, that's a lie. You're telling yourself there are rich people who never stop working all the time. Have you watched the White Lotus? The Thai, the Thailand one is perfect example of that. Right, these people couldn't get rid of their cell phones. So I just want to say, if you think when I have this, then I'll have less stress and I'll be more regulated, more relaxed. That's not true. To practice for it right now, and sometimes it means saying no. Sometimes it means not talking to some people. Sometimes it means just taking a break. It does until you can get you got to know yourself. You have to have self trust to get to be able to be it till you see it. So, what I like to say is, what's one thing in this episode that you can take action on right now that will actually feel good to you and doesn't feel overwhelming? Is it the worry box? Is it the brain dump is it making a list of all the things that are going on right now that you're supposed to be doing and that you're not, and then seeing what you can get rid of, which you can just go, I can't do that right now. Is it taking time to get back to your inner voice? What is it that you are? Can't do all. Don't tell me I'll do that one too. I'm gonna do that one too. You're just going to overwhelm yourself, babe. You're just going to dysregulate yourself in trying to regulate yourself. So let's not do that. It's also something I really think is important: is regulation is an act of self-parenting, not a chore. It's not a task. It's just taking care of yourself. One other little tidbit I want to give you is maybe what you need to do is just set an alarm three times a day. That ask yourself, "How am I feeling right now? How am I feeling right now? Am I feeling? Do I feel good right now? Do I feel overwhelmed right now? Do I feel excited right now? Do I feel overwhelmed right now. I feel regulated, dysregulated. Just notice that maybe at the end of every day you feel dysregulated. Okay, that's an interesting pattern. That's good awareness. So what's happening between the last time when you felt good and the end of the day? What are you doing too much of? What are you forcing yourself to do?


Lesley Logan 17:45  

Whether you have ADHD, perimenopause, whether you're in the sandwich generation, there are always tools, but you have to know which tool works best for you. You cannot always bring a hammer to everything. Sometimes we need a drill. Sometimes we need a screwdriver. Sometimes we need a crane. Sometimes we need cement. So, what do you need? Take time this week to figure that out. Otherwise, just taking more advice from all the other people is just gonna overwhelm you and put you in a dysregulated state when you're trying to get better. Isn't that silly, to get dysregulated trying to get self-help? But it happens all the time. It happens all the time with my perfectionists and overachievers, my people pleasers, my firstborn parentified daughters. I see you. We're not trying to be monks. We're just trying to be aware. It's our job to figure out what helps us feel good and helps us take on what we want to be, what we want to do, so we can Be It Till You See It. Thank you for watching. I hope this is helpful. Let me know what your takeaways are. Send this to a friend who needs to hear it. Until next time, Be It Till You See It.


Lesley Logan 18:53  

TThat's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. 


Brad Crowell 19:35  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


Lesley Logan 19:41  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


Brad Crowell 19:45  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


Lesley Logan 19:52  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


Brad Crowell 19:56  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



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