619. How to Ditch the All-or-Nothing Mindset Trap

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This fifth episode of the Habits Series spotlights the “just do it” mindset and why ditching all-or-nothing thinking is non-negotiable if you want habits that truly stick. Lesley breaks down how tiny actions create momentum, why immediate celebration rewires your brain, and why failure is simply feedback. She also shares real examples from her Tarot routine and coaching experience to show how experimentation leads to clarity, confidence, and consistency.


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In this episode you will learn about:

  • Why all-or-nothing thinking prevents you from making habits achievable.
  • The importance of making habits manageable.
  • Using a “just do it” mindset to act despite limited time.
  • Making habits microscopic—down to opening the book only.
  • Treating every failed attempt as data about prompts, timing, or desire.


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Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

If you are going to do something, you should do all of it. Otherwise, you should do none of it. 


Lesley Logan 0:04  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.


Lesley Logan 0:46  

Hi, Be It babe. Welcome back to our series on habits. We are working our way through. We are now on the other side of the half, and I am so excited. If this is your first time listening to us, I recommend going back to the beginning of the habits. You have to go back to episode one, about the beginning of the habits, just so you're not lost. And this is really where I just want to give you a pep talk, because when I was coaching people through their habits during, like, to do my habits coaching, training, years ago, I had to coach people for a couple of weeks, and no matter how much they were told by the expert himself that they need to make it smaller, that they need to make it they can't be all or nothing, that they're in experimentation mode, I found a lot of people being hard on themselves because they were unable to do the thing that they wanted to do. But they they didn't make it very small. They said, okay, for example, the habit was like, oh, I want to run five days a week, and I'm going to run a mile. And then the first day they didn't have enough time for a mile. The second day they did it, but then they were sore the third day, so they couldn't, then something happened on the fourth day, then on the fifth day, they didn't have enough time. All of a sudden, like, I'm not good enough. And that it, it doesn't even, insert your desired habit here. You know that's why it 30, 21, days, 30 days, 70 days, to make a habit isn't a real thing, because it's not about the the consistency every single day. Consistency really is a heartbeat. It's about actually making sure the thing that you want to have it's a habit is first of all something you want to do, right? It's really easy for us to have habits of other people's. Second, it's important that not only is it to have something you want to do, but we are putting it in an achievable bite size situation so that you can actually do the thing, so you can actually, like, check the box, right, from my perfectionist and my my achievers here, but a lot of you are overachievers and have an all or nothing mindset when it comes to things. And if you are going to do something, you should do all of it. Otherwise you should do none of it. And we come across this a lot at OPC. We have people who are like, oh, I only logged in once a week, and so I'm going to quit this. And it's like, once a week. That's what like, are you doing something else the rest week? No, well, then, isn't once a week better than nothing? Yeah, you're not wasting your money, right? You're not wasting your money at all. So we have to be kinder to ourselves. And I think one of the reasons, I think that, like this podcast, exists, is just to remind people that you're doing a great job and the thing you want to have and the things you want to have and the person you want to be, all that is possible, but doesn't come because you, like, snapped your fingers and woke up that day the next day, like, confident and put together with all the accolades. No, it comes together little by little, step by step, one brick at a time. Sometimes a brick falls, sometimes the brick is a little crooked, and then you learn how to be a better brick builder, or layer, brick layer. You know, you learn. You learn you can go faster, right? You know, the first time I, like, ran up a flight of stairs as a runner, like, I had to, like, look at every single step I was doing, right? There's these stairs in Santa Monica, they're like, super famous, oh, I kind of, I wonder if they're still there actually. They're in the,they're in the Palisades area and we would run from the top of the bluffs in Santa Monica down to Palisades and back up, right? And these really cool stairs, and the first, like the first set, first couple times, I couldn't even go all the way up the stairs, and then going down the stairs, I had to have my hand on the rail, right. And so, you know, but then I kept going, and it became easier to get all the way up the stairs. Came easier to just go down the stairs without touching the handle. Became easier to go two steps at a time. I got faster. Started timing myself. I got faster, right? In fact, let me tell you about these stairs. There was this guy who was going up them on a single leg all the way up, and then running down, then a single the other single leg all the way up. We're talking like so many flights of stairs. The fire department uses this to train and it happened to be like an Olympic speed skater. So anyways, all this to say, you actually don't get where you want because you snapped your fingers, you get there one step at a time, slow, slower, like, oh, you missed a step. Oh, you tripped up the step to toe. Oh, okay now you're getting faster now, now you're getting a straight line now, oh, now it's gonna be you could do with your eyes closed. Now you can do it in a single leg. So the all or nothing mindset is actually not a single person you admire in this world did anything with an all or nothing vibe. Every single one of them failed, hit their like literally had a door slammed in their face, fell to the ground, landed in mud, got up and did it again. So habits are not built on all or nothing mindsets, they will it will never happen. You will never have the habit you want. Another mindset you do need to have is a just do it mindset. Like, a just be it mindset. And that's hard. Like, it's easy to go, I can't do it right, so I'm not gonna do it today. I slept in. I'm not gonna do today. So today, for example, on the day we're recording this, I actually barely have enough time to do any of the things that I really wanted to do. I, like, I said in the last episode, I'm, like, really enjoying this, like, studying (inaudible). I was like, oh, I'm gonna do a card today. And I'm sitting on my desk and I'm gonna just do one card, and I'll open up my emails, right? And the truth is is, like, I sat down, I had seven minutes between when I sat down and what I had to do next. And so it's like, well, I'll do seven minutes of this thing. Just do it, right? Not an all or nothing thing, because I would, if I had that mindset, I wouldn't have done it yet. And what I can say right now is I might not be on card number three, right? I just started this yesterday, but I am halfway through card number two, and it's quite possible that I will have seven more minutes later today, and I can actually work on it, but the having a more just do it, just be it, like, do do what you can imperfectly is actually going to make your habits more successful. It's why a lot of people are so successful. It's why a lot of people who like, fail and fail and fail until they get it like they learn so much from the failure. Exactly, for example, today, like when I did the first day, it took me, like, 20 minutes, and I was like, because, because I was reading a bunch of different things, I had to get a bunch of different stuff together, like I was trying to connect the dots. So as of right now, as the time of recording this, I actually don't know how long it takes me to do one card with all the different questions that they ask. Does it take me 20 minutes? Does it take me 15 minutes? Does it take me? Doesn't take seven. Takes longer than that. So because I don't know that, I have to just do what I can do, and then celebrate that I did do it. And by the way, I did celebrate. I was like, oh, checked out a page, worked out, really did a great job. It's amazing, right? So, so it's really important to and ditch the all or nothing. And said, go for the like, you know, done is better than perfect mindset. Okay? And then I have mentioned this before, but I actually want to talk about, like, the celebration part of how the habits are created, because it is the thing that is so key. And then I found that a lot of people had a hard time doing, right? They, they almost had a harder time doing this, and they did making things smaller, but it was a close, close touch right, like I could, for example, if I'm in my experimentation mode of this new habit, if I find that a couple days, like a card a day is really hard, maybe I can do one card like each day I open the book, but I do one page of the book, right? Like that might be where I have to do it, rather, because each card has about three pages. So maybe I have to go one page, maybe I have to go to just one question. Maybe I have to just, maybe the habit actually becomes just opening the book, and anything I do is extra credit. Do we see how we can make it I can make it so small that I end up just getting to pick up the book, right? We talked about that in episode one. Just pick up the book. So you got to make it super small, and you have to celebrate. So celebrations are the thing that I find that perfectionists have the hardest time with, like, what? Because it's like, well, is it really worthy of celebration if I just picked up the book? Yeah, it is. If you want to keep picking up the book, it is very much worth it. It is so important. So there's over 100 different ideas of celebration that BJ taught us, but I will tell you his really fun activity for figuring out how you like to celebrate. So take a bunch of different ways you can celebrate the moment. A song you like to play, a dance you like to do, a kid you want to high five. Hopefully it's your kid. You know, like, maybe put on your favorite lipstick and go amazing, maybe high five yourself, right? All these different ways you could celebrate and then set a timer for five minutes and go into a room in your house that's messy. Every time you put something away, try one of the new things on your celebration list so you find one that feels easy, authentic and totally you. That's the way you figure it out. So when you figure it out, right? So for me, I actually do say it out loud. It's, if you're around me, you'll hear me do it. And it's because, one, we all need a pep talk, sometimes, from time to time, like, yes, people are lovely, and I get lovely DMs about how amazing I am and what they love. But like, the truth is, is that, like, I have to love what I do, too, and that, in fact, my voice is louder than the other voices. So I'm negative of myself, I don't even hear the compliments. But if I'm positive to myself, I can totally receive those compliments. So I celebrate verbally, and it's usually something amazing, but sometimes, if it's something that's a little harder, a little more challenging for me, something I'm like, I am struggling to enjoy, I turn on the music like, our house doesn't have music going on 24/7 I wish it did. I kind of, like, I'm like, how do we get a Sonos type of thing? Can, Sonos, do you want to sponsor me? How do I have because I would love this music playing in the whole house while we're working. It would definitely cover the fact that I can hear my husband in his office. But I put music on and I put on, like, songs that, like, I just absolutely love, like, sometimes that's my way of celebrating. It really helps me, like, brightens the mood, sometimes the best way. So, you know, figure out, figuring out the way you like to celebrate. And it cannot, we talked about this in earlier series, or the series, cannot be a reward later on. It has to be in the moment, in the moment, and you need to do it, even if you think about doing the habit and you miss it. So like, if tomorrow I think about doing the Tarot book, but I don't get to the Tarot book, I have to celebrate that I thought about it in that moment, because it will help me continue to build that habit. I'm going to go on tour. I'm recording this before I go on tour. And so, you know, I am bringing on tour, and I how it will take. This experiment will continue to go because it's like, okay, when on tour is it easy for me to grab this book? Is it beginning of the day? Is it at the end of the day? Is it, you know, when I'm eating dinner? Is it before I leave the van to go the gym? Like, when is it? Right now, I can tell you right now, it's not gonna happen in the morning. As much as I would love it to like, it would just like, start the day there, it's not easy, because I have to turn on a light. My husband's in the van. Dog has to pee. I have a limited time to work out and get my, get ready for the day, so I already know that that's not gonna be when I do it. So at the home, it's like before I when I sit down at my desk to work, I will do my Tarot like it's gonna, on the tour, it's gonna have to be like every day before I go to bed I will do the Tarot, right, like it might have to be like that. I don't know, I might like it more. It might become part of my nighttime routine, that we will find out. 


Lesley Logan 11:26  

And so I just want to wrap this up by saying you're allowed to, in your process of implementing habits, get it wrong. Get the time wrong, get the prompt wrong, get the location of when you want to do it wrong. Get the size of how tiny it needs to be to get started, you're allowed to get it wrong, because every time you do, it's feedback and information about how you operate better, how what makes you tick, what makes it easier for you to build habits and and truly putting in the right spot so you're not overwhelmed, so that it's, it's, it's in the part of the day that actually fuels you. And also sometimes, as you're working through a habit, you realize you don't want it, like, I, there are some habits I really have wanted to create, or I thought I did, and then in the effort of putting through it, some of the habits that I thought would get me to the goal that I wanted weren't the thing that did it at all. They weren't the thing that did it at all, right? And I just want to share that with you, because you're not always going to get the exact right habit down. Not not only like, like as a habit, but it might not. It might even like, in the process of experimenting, might be like, you know what? I actually love doing this in the morning, but I don't want to do this in the morning. It needs to be something else. Like, I thought that running would help me feel like the health goal that I had, and it's actually not running, it's boxing, like you're the you're allowed to fail, because it's just feedback that helps you get to know yourself more. And the more you do this, the more you work this series, the easier it is for you to actually add in new habits. You start to be quicker going, oh, I know that's gonna be hard for me. I'm not gonna do it. Oh, I know that's going to be a little easier for me, and I want to do it right? Or, you know, I have this feeling of myself that I don't want to do it. Last time I felt this feeling, I should have listened. So I'm gonna listen right now. You just get to know yourself more. Failure is feedback, and I really wish we could give failure like a better there should be another word for failure, like being in process, right, is what you're trying to do. So whether you get like you nail the habit today and you don't tomorrow, it's just information on, do I have the right prompt? Is this tiny enough? Is it? Is it something that I am I enjoying it, right? Am I enjoying it? And then, most importantly, let yourself be a beginner, right? You're new to this habit. You're new to, even if it's something you used to do and you got out of the habit, you unraveled it, right? You're it's new to you and the person you are today. And so it just takes time. So ditch all or nothing. Take the messy action, celebrate what you did do and reflect, correct and continue. You got this. You're amazing. Have an awesome day. 


Lesley Logan 14:01  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


Brad Crowell 14:42  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


Lesley Logan 14:48  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


Brad Crowell 14:53  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


Lesley Logan 15:00  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


Brad Crowell 15:03  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.




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