740. The Simple Way to Stop Self-Judgment

00:00
31:37

Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell break down the conversation with Jamie Lerner, a well-being therapist and author who left psychotherapy after watching clients use their past as the excuse that kept them stuck. They dig into why society rewards women for wearing the busy badge, what it actually means to look inward, and the internal compass Jamie says everyone is born with.


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In this episode you will learn about:

  • How society rewards women who put themselves last and stay overworked.
  • Brad unpacks the inner knowing Jamie calls a natural internal compass.
  • Five minutes of silence outside as the practice of looking inward.
  • Laughing when you judge others reveals what you actually want yourself.
  • Setting aside ten minutes daily for lovingly curious questions.


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Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

I actually don't think it's bad to be jealous. I think it is bad to judge yourself for being jealous and not actually taking a moment to know why. What about that thing is making me have the grass is greener?


Lesley Logan 0:11  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.


Lesley Logan 0:54  

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the insightful convo I had with Jamie Lerner in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now and go back and listen to that one, and then come back and join us, or you can just listen all the way through and then just let your podcast play that one. 


Brad Crowell 1:11  

You can start at episode one. We're only 740 in right now.


Lesley Logan 1:15  

I know. I mean, so many. It's so many. Today is October 1st 2026. It is ADHD Awareness Month, and you are listening to two ADHD hosts. By the way, just so you know, when we record these, the Adderall is worn off, so.


Brad Crowell 1:29  

That's also true.


Lesley Logan 1:30  

It's all we don't ever record when we are medicated. So because that would be that would make too much sense. But ADHD Awareness Month shines a light on Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder throughout October. This vital observance, spearheaded by organizations like Attention Deficit Disorder Association, aims to educate the public, reduce stigma, and champion effective treatments. Join the conversation, share resources, and support those navigating life with ADHD. I just want to tell you guys, it's not like a trend to go get diagnosed. If you think that you that's what's going on with you. You should do it because there are really great tools and systems that you can use. You don't have to take Adderall. There's other options. There's other systems you could put in place. But it has been really quite helpful to understand what's ADHD and what's just tired and what's whatever. And oh, I'm going on a dopamine high. Let's adopt a dog. You know, decisions like that. But I highly recommend it. And then the other thing I just want to add is I listened to this really wonderful clip where this woman said that the title ADHD is not really the best because it's what it is is it's a regulation disorder. People with ADHD have a hard time regulating in general. So like we go on highs and lows and highs and lows because it's really hard to regulate. I really like the example of you know those of you who listen to the podcast. Most of you understand, in the 80s and 90s there were those pens that had red, green, black, blue, right?


Brad Crowell 2:50  

Sure.


Lesley Logan 2:51  

So a neurotypical person will think red, click red, use red, finish the red, right? A neurodivergent person. 


Brad Crowell 3:00  

Is that what they'll do?


Lesley Logan 3:00  

Yeah, a neurodivergent person with ADHD will go. I had five ideas, all five pen, all five colors at the same time. That's how their brain works. And I thought that if you don't understand what that's like, you that I think it's a good visual. So, anyways, if you hear chewing in the background, that's Darla, and we're gonna let her do it because it keeps her busy, otherwise. 


Brad Crowell 3:19  

That's her ADHD (inaudible) also, too, my understanding is that ADHD presents itself slightly differently between men and women, and it's really coming out strong as. 


Lesley Logan 3:34  

The largest number of women are going through perimenopause at the same time.


Brad Crowell 3:37  

Yes, that is the point I was ultimately trying to eloquently get to, that I am not a woman to be able to say that, but that's happening right now, and so it might be that you have ADHD undiagnosed and don't know it. And if you're thinking, "Oh my god, I can't fucking think anymore, maybe it's because of this, and it's worth going to talk to someone about it. We did, and it was hilarious. Lesley's already told the story, but in five minutes, the psychiatrist was, "Yeah, you have ADHD. I'm giving you boom. You know, you're good. Let's go.


Lesley Logan 4:10  

And Brad and I did.


Brad Crowell 4:11  

I had to do a friggin' test.


Lesley Logan 4:12  

You did all the tests. I was. I don't have time for these tests.


Brad Crowell 4:16  

I had to go do a whole computer exam and the whole nine. I mean, I'm glad I did, but also I was. I gotta go all the way back out here to this place. I mean it's like 20 minutes away, but it felt like forever. Anyway, I'm very happy that I am formally diagnosed, and it has been interesting to to be taking medication for something like this because I I just always assumed that I was just getting older and my brain wasn't working the way that it used to, and that's true, I think. But also, I wonder. I don't know. I felt very productive and you know cogent when I was younger, and then things just started to slip away for me, and I just associated that with all the things that happened in my life and. 


Lesley Logan 4:55  

Maybe you're going through perimenopause.


Brad Crowell 4:56  

Yeah, I must be. I mean, I think I think that's it.


Brad Crowell 5:00  

That's the conclusion. I don't even know how I didn't come to that conclusion. 


Lesley Logan 5:02  

You know what I will say is the psychiatrist was really thoughtful. She said, "Look, she says what you'll have to understand about yourself is it's you versus the ADHD, and if you can really understand what's me and what's ADHD, it will really help you. As is a child where my ADHD was fully showing up, and people, oh, you're just not applying yourself. Oh, you're just being you're procrastinating. Oh, this, and so really, I'll be completely honest. I actually had a moment of being fucking pissed off because I think my life would be completely different had someone just diagnosed me earlier. Instead, I went my whole life masking, and then I got to a place where my hormones weren't helping me mask anymore, and I was tired of masking. And then I was just a fucking cunt. I was just mean. I was irritable. And now, when I am taking the medication and I'm focused and I'm irritable, I actually know that I am actually irritated. Versus, oh, this is just my. I'm tired. My brain is not able to operate, which means watch the fuck out because now I know.


Brad Crowell 6:03  

Now we know.


Lesley Logan 6:04  

Now we know. Now we know. And I'm a January Aquarius, and so some of it is we're tired. We're ready. We're moving on. Anyways, moving on. There's a lot of a lot of events and travel. So upLift is our teacher training program. You probably have heard the rumor. It's been something they've been whispering about. But my teacher training program for new teachers or partially trained teachers is called upLift, and it is going to start early next year in many different cities. If you want to know which cities that are going to be in.


Brad Crowell 6:27  

Probably around the world, in fact.


Lesley Logan 6:29  

That's our goal. That's our goal. At the time we're recording this, I'm looking at the applications right now, and I have some really epic educators that have applied that I'm really excited about. We're working really hard to make sure that next year is the right time for them, but you want to go to xxll.co/uws xxll.co/uws. If you are what are what is this all. 


Brad Crowell 6:51  

That's for upLift waitlist


Lesley Logan 6:53  

student


Brad Crowell 6:54  

student


Lesley Logan 6:54  

and you can blame Brad. So go there because I'm updating that waitlist monthly, and those are the people the people who will hear about the locations first. You won't have to wait for the Instagram algorithm to show you something. eLevate is for those who are already trained and you're looking for more of a master's program to study amongst other teachers, and you want to directly study with me. You can look at our live Q and A call that we did earlier this summer. I guess it's at lesleylogan.co/elevate. I will just tell you, we're recording this not when you're hearing it, and at the time of recording, there are two spots left in 2028, and 10 applications that at any time someone could go, yes, I'm ready, but don't let that stop you. Check it out. See, you might get the last spot if that's what you're looking for. Also, eLevate grads are the people who right now can apply to be an upLift educator. So if you were oh I want to be one of those educators, you must have gone through upLift at this time. So check that out. The flashcards. If you didn't know, maybe you love OPC or you're not ready to be an OPC member yet, but you are wanting to study with me, and like the other options are just not what you need right now. You can be a Pilates lover of any level. You can be a teacher of any background. And when you buy the OPC flashcards, you're actually supporting the Nevada SPCA, which is where we got Miss Darla. Go to opc.me/flashcards. We have six decks in there in the set, and they're wonderful. And they're edited by a contemporary trained instructor with contemporary equipment, and they are edited by my sister-in-law, who's never done Pilates. So anyone can read them. And then we have heard so many times people don't know where the posters are. Go to opc.me/posters. Okay, wow, this is a lot of talking. Really quickly, we are headed to Sacramento literally next week, and it's sold out. So you, too bad, so sad. You missed. If you don't have a ticket, you're. We're not seeing you there.


Brad Crowell 8:36  

Sacramento because Balanced Body is having a Pilates On Tour. It's also their 50th anniversary celebration.


Lesley Logan 8:41  

You can hang out with me at another 50th celebration, but stay tuned for that. We are going to go from Sacramento by another train to San Francisco. I think this sounds like a terrible idea, but this is what we're doing to fly to Cambodia to lead our retreat. And it was definitely an ADHD planned moment, and now we're going to live it.


Brad Crowell 9:00  

Oh we're living it.


Lesley Logan 9:01  

We're living it. Just thinking about the return trip home. So here's the deal, guys. We're driving to Sacramento with the van.


Brad Crowell 9:07  

Which is nine and a half hours.


Lesley Logan 9:08  

Nine and a half hours. Okay, sounds fun because it's so much easier than shipping the flashcards. It costs us so much fucking money to do that. 


Brad Crowell 9:15  

It's also trying to get the van at the event.


Lesley Logan 9:18  

Yeah, but it's not gonna. 


Brad Crowell 9:21  

We're gonna park that right out front. We're we're putting that in they're gonna they're gonna valet park that sucker right in front of the entrance.


Lesley Logan 9:28  

I know Brad's gonna figure that out because the event is not at their headquarters. 


Brad Crowell 9:31  

No, it's at the Hyatt or something. 


Lesley Logan 9:32  

It's like a thing, right? Yeah. So, anyways, I'll let you figure that out because I that's not my monkey, not my circus. Then we'll be at the event. Then we're gonna park that van at Ken Endelman's house, supposedly, which we have no idea where that is in regards to the Amtrak. We have to take an Amtrak. Hopefully, there's one left. We take the Amtrak to a BART before the BART shut down on a Sunday night. From the BART to our hotel, and then the next morning we fly out of San Francisco. Part of me is just throw money at this problem and park the van somewhere in San Francisco, but it's San Francisco, and I'm a little worried someone's going to move in. So we're not doing that. Not doing that. So, then. 


Brad Crowell 10:08  

No, if we're going to throw money at the problem, we're hiring a private driver from Sacramento.


Lesley Logan 10:11  

That's a great idea. But here's what's going to happen: we return back, and we have to do the reverse trip, you guys, we have to go BART to Amtrak, Amtrak to the van, and then a nine and a half hour drive home. And this is the part that I don't think my husband has thought through. So you're hearing it first here. I think he is too. So if you want to go to Cambodia next year, when we're not doing planes, trains, and automobiles, you can get on the wait list. I don't know the link for that. Brad will tell you.


Brad Crowell 10:39  

crowsnestretreats.com


Lesley Logan 10:41  

Great. January is when we'll open up the early bird. We have so many people interested in 2027. I promise you do not want to wait. 


Brad Crowell 10:48  

We had a lot of interest, especially from this summer tour that we just got back from. A lot of interest, and I'm telling you, this past year's trip sold out in three weeks, and I'm sure this one is going to do the same or even faster.


Lesley Logan 11:02  

Yeah. Then in November, I'm teaching at basically a Pilates On Tour, but in China, outside of Shanghai, I can't tell you how you're going to sign up for that. But I feel I feel like if you Google it, it will happen. They are not. They've not sent me a link for you. So, but people are excited.


Brad Crowell 11:17  

You can find it online.


Lesley Logan 11:18  

I'm sure you can. I'm sure you're all here. I'm sure you can all Google, but then because I'm a crazy person, I'm gonna go back to Asia two weeks later to teach at Pilates On Tour Goa.


Brad Crowell 11:30  

Which is India.


Lesley Logan 11:31  

Yeah, it is India. I think people know Goa. It looks stunning, you guys. And this particular POT, it's the last one of the 50th year celebration, and when you, it's very different because we all have lunch together. It's more like a retreat style. You are there for the whole event. You are going to go to Instagram Pilates On Tour India, and you can sign up through there because.  


Brad Crowell 11:54  

It's not on the POT page. It's not on Balanced Body's website.


Lesley Logan 11:57  

I mean, you know what? It might be.


Brad Crowell 11:58  

It is. It's xxll.co/pot


Lesley Logan 12:00  

Okay, do that. What do I know? I'm just the. 


Brad Crowell 12:02  

I'm sure it's on there.


Lesley Logan 12:03  

You guys, today is October 1st, which means the tickets drop today for the winter tour. So do not miss out. Go to opc.me/tour because.


Brad Crowell 12:12  

By the way, if you didn't hear what she just said, the winter tour tickets have just dropped today.


Lesley Logan 12:19  

Today, today, today, and we, it's going to be a very big tour. I'm actually flying from Goa to Denver, which doesn't make any sense now that I know the route. I'm coming through Europe, so I probably should have met you in New York. 


Brad Crowell 12:34  

Yeah, we're not. We're not doing that. You're coming as close to home as possible, but yeah, we're going to pick her up in in in Denver, and then go from there. But it's exciting to see the route is coming together. We're almost done. I can tell you the first half of the tour is going to take us from we're going to do Fort Collins or just south. There's a smaller town just south of Fort Collins. That's going to be the first tour stop. It's going to go up. There's a couple of stops on the way to Chicago, and there's a bunch more stops on the way to Boston, and then we're gonna scoop back around through New York and then Hershey, we're coming back to you.


Lesley Logan 13:06  

We love Hershey. You love us. 


Brad Crowell 13:09  

Then we're going down East Coast, but we're gonna cut over to Charlotte, North Carolina, and then we're gonna make our way down to Florida and then back across the country. So those are still TBD. We're working out the-the logistics and all the things. 


Lesley Logan 13:22  

By the time you're hearing this, it's worked out.


Brad Crowell 13:24  

Oh yeah, it's worked out. Just go to OPC.me/tour. What am I talking about?


Lesley Logan 13:27  

We're actually just recording this in the past.


Brad Crowell 13:30  

Yeah.


Lesley Logan 13:31  

Before it has been because that's how we do life. Okay, we got to move on.


Brad Crowell 13:34  

Let's go. Let's go.


Lesley Logan 13:35  

So real quick, you guys, as you know, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and we wanted to spotlight a a project that we actually know the founder of very well. We know Pilates instructors who are part of it. So it's a nonprofit built by the Pilates community, founded in 2012 by Pilates instructor Jill Hinson after she saw firsthand how quickly Reformer work helped two clients recover from breast cancer surgery to regain their strength and mobility. So it's the Core Compassion Project, and realized that most people who could benefit from Pilates couldn't afford it. So, especially when they're going through cancer treatment. So, Core Compassion provides Pilate scholarships to breast cancer patients and survivors. $700 funds 10 private one-on-one sessions with a certified instructor who's specifically trained in post-cancer rehab, which is very important. You can't just show up to any Pilates studio and expect them to be able to support you during this journey, you definitely want someone who understands because they'll probably need what they can also provide is free specialized fitness bras and lymphedema compression sleeves, and then things which are things like survivors are needing, but the insurance doesn't cover most times. Doesn't cover a lot of things anymore. It's 100% volunteer run with a board that includes past scholarship recipients, and every October they rally the Pilates community together through their Compassion MATraiser, where studios and teachers host donation-based classes to fund the mission. If you are a Pilates person listening to this, and probably you are, this is your charity. So find more at corecompassionproject.org, or if you're just someone who wants to support women who are going through this and need this, it's at corecompassionproject.org. Obviously, if you don't have, you can also just supply $5. I mean, they'll take it, I'm sure. So, but $700 gets you gets that person 10 one-on-one sessions, which is really wonderful for someone who can understand what they're going through. So, anyways, if you have a charity you'd like us to look into, or you have a win that you want me to talk about on the FYFs, you can text us at 310-905-5534 or submit it at beitpod.com/questions. Yeah, okay, we're ready to talk about Jamie Lerner, finally.


Brad Crowell 15:32  

Woo!


Brad Crowell 15:34  

Welcome back. Let's talk about Jamie Lerner. Jamie is a well-being therapist and an author. She helps people get from where they are to where they want to be. After years as a psychotherapist, Jamie realized that having people look back at their past was not helping them move forward. Instead, it was becoming the very excuse that kept them stuck. So she walked away and looked within, discovering that her superpower was her own inner knowing about her own life, and she was trying to figure out how to explain that to others, how they can get back to that themselves. So today, she teaches people to trust themselves, take personal responsibility, and get lovingly curious about their own inner being. So, she wrote a book. It's called The Ever Loving Essence of You. You can find it on Amazon. She also has a service called The Quickie, which is her texting service where you can buy a package of time and text back and forth with her. Those links are going to be in the show notes. But she clearly has been through the psychotherapy couch sessions and was I'm over this myself. I'm I'm going to help people in a different way. It was really cool.


Lesley Logan 16:38  

I can't even imagine because I have to be honest. I can't even have friends who repeat themselves and stick get stuck. Like it really, it takes everything in me to listen to someone complain about the same thing for the third time. I cannot. So I could not ever have that job. And she said we we often live in a this victim mentality, and that society actively rewards women for being the victim by putting ourselves last and being overworked, and so it's true because everyone just wears the busy badge, right? I've got the busy badge of honor over here, and look how busy I am, look how tired I am, and look at all the things that I've done. And then guess what, you guys? Let's guess what they're gonna do. When you fail, then they're gonna call you controlling, emotional, emotional perfectionist, some control freak. So you can't win, but it's a false belief that all these other things are more important than our own well-being, and we use, she said, we use being busy as an excuse, choosing to hide behind it simply because we do not know how to include ourselves in self-care, and I think this is really key because I meet so many people who say, well, so it must be so nice for you because you have the time. You don't have kids, so you must have the time. You're right. I don't have kids. I don't have kids. We have two dogs, so I don't. They're not the same. But also, we're very busy. We have three companies plus a fourth in a different country. We have hundreds of members. We have dozens of people on our team. We have a different version of responsibilities. And if I do not take care of myself, I am not going to be able to do these things.


Brad Crowell 18:06  

Yeah, we we have a different definition of busy, and it doesn't involve you know kids and soccer games.


Lesley Logan 18:10  

I would say different definition of responsibility. We have different responsibilities. So, but I.  


Brad Crowell 18:15  

I guess we have a we have the same we have we have the same I'm busy excuse, but just in a different manner.


Lesley Logan 18:21  

Yeah, but I also, but I really do think that she is correct that we went. Okay, this. Well, I'm glad that we're re-recording this. You guys, this is the second time we record this. We recorded this before tour, and now we're back from tour. And we were in a city. I will not name the city, but we were in a city, and it was, we walked into a restaurant, which, by the way, the team did not tell me that there's probably a dress code. So I walk in, in cutoff shorts and an oversized T-shirt, with my bright red platform Crocs, okay, so I look like hell, and it was definitely the Real Housewives of that city kind of a restaurant. And we got stuck next to this table of the Real Housewives from that city, and I, five minutes of eavesdropping to their table, and I was, "Brad, I fucking cannot. If this is what having friendships like this is supposed to be about in a city, thank God we don't have kids. I could not." All they did was talk about, oh, it was how's your mom, and then the only reason they would listen is if their mom was sick. Oh, how's your kid? If you talked about your kids doing great, they didn't know what to say, so then they said, "Oh, well, she's struggling with this. Oh my god, mine too. Everyone, the conversation only kept going, and you were only rewarded for what you said if it was all negative and you were a victim and something was wrong. My goodness, you know what my favorite conversations with my friends are, is what they celebrate. Oh, I slayed this. Yeah, I bet you did. I love those conversations. So, anyways, but that's how people are rewarded, and then they get rewarded for putting themselves last because they're definitely looked at badly if they put themselves first by those people. But I would say there's a whole group of people like me who are ready to celebrate you putting yourself first. So, and Jamie, that's what Jamie wants.


Brad Crowell 19:58  

And Jamie. Absolutely. One thing I loved that Jamie said was that we are all born with a knowing, which acts as like a natural internal compass. This is very foreign idea to me. I did not grow up with anyone explaining that I could look inwardly and I could understand what I'm feeling and if something is right or wrong for me. You know, it's just not how I was raised.


Lesley Logan 20:22  

So I wasn't raised that way, but I know I had this, and that's why I felt like a weirdo, and that's why I was getting like I would get in trouble because the inner knowing was the compass. I don't actually know where East and West is, but I know what felt good, and that what people were wanting me to do did not feel good. Yeah, I didn't know how to do it. I didn't know what I was doing, so I was just.


Brad Crowell 20:39  

I definitely wasn't a people-pleaser. I was definitely the rebel, and I did the rebel. 


Lesley Logan 20:44  

Yeah, I would say you have an inner knowing. You wore ridiculous clothes every single day. 


Brad Crowell 20:48  

Yeah, but it was a little bit of like an FU to the man in a sense, as a teenager.


Lesley Logan 20:51  

Yeah, because there's an inner knowing that you that you wanted to do that.


Brad Crowell 20:53  

I did want to do that, and I was I always looked out to see how I could stick a thorn in the side of the process without actually getting in trouble, yeah, that's how I rolled. I didn't really want to get in trouble, but I really wanted to cause trouble. Does that make sense? 


Lesley Logan 21:07  

You just wanted to see how far you could do without being in trouble because you wanted to feel like you were breaking the rules without breaking the rules. 


Brad Crowell 21:13  

Yeah, yeah, pretty much. Yeah, you know. But anyway, this inner knowing that Jamie's talking about, she explained because of the contrast of life, society trains us to look outside of ourselves for pretty much everything, right? I mean, the irony is that we have a podcast telling you to look inwardly, but I think that it is just natural for us to look outside of ourselves. Our our parents, our church, our work, our friends, our siblings-you know-we're constantly looking to others for approval, I was the same way, especially when I was younger.


Lesley Logan 21:43  

Oh, we're raised to look at other people for approval, especially women. But I'm sure you, too, because even the Boy Scouts are the troop leaders going to give you these badges. Did you do a good enough job? Everything is to get other people's opinions of you to matter, but that's not whose opinion matters.


Brad Crowell 21:58  

Yeah, and seeking that external validation causes us to lose the basic sense of can we even trust our own decisions? What do we actually want for us? We don't even know what we want for us most of the time. Well, especially when we were growing up, what we wanted for us was what our parents told us we wanted for us, and then and then like somewhere in there, we're supposed to be oh now I get to choose what I want for me, you know, and and and we don't shift. Oh, you know, we're still looking to.


Lesley Logan 22:26  

Well, you never got to practice it.


Brad Crowell 22:28  

Right. Yeah, and and her argument is it's very easy for us to get back to looking internally, and she says that there's a trust that gets built when you sit with yourself, and she was talking about it's not even complicated in the sense of this meditation idea that I could never wrap my head around. And she said, "You know, you don't need to do any anything like that. It could just be five minutes of silence drinking a cup of coffee, where you just have a moment of you with you.


Lesley Logan 22:57  

Oh my god! I forgot my AirPods yesterday on the dog walk.


Brad Crowell 22:59  

Weird. 


Lesley Logan 23:00  

I know. I loved it.


Brad Crowell 23:03  

Oh, that was like an hour. Yeah. Well, good for you. 


Lesley Logan 23:06  

I mean, here's the deal. I loved the first half, and then the second half, I was done with it myself because I'm in my head all day, you know. So I didn't need more time. But so I did listen to a podcast without headphones, and well, the neighbors get to listen to my my true crime. But the first half was just like such a nice. I could hear the birds and all the things, and I was. This is wonderful. Maybe I should just not put them in until halfway.


Brad Crowell 23:28  

I mean, I love that.


Lesley Logan 23:29  

It's a it's a good intention.


Brad Crowell 23:31  

There's value. There's value.


Lesley Logan 23:32  

I will say you don't even have to do that. Five minutes is actually not that long, and you you sit out on the front porch, you know, or you could walk around a block, or you could just walk across the street. But you should get outside and be quiet.


Brad Crowell 23:46  

So if you want a feeling of coming home to yourself, start to look inward and see what that means. You know?


Lesley Logan 23:52  

I'm all. Here's the thing: she does make it sound so simple in a way that I did challenge her. Is it really that simple? Hold on. Is there? I mean, I was Jamie, people aren't gonna think it's that simple, but I think we overcomplicate things, and people have overcomplicated things to sell you something. And she's, it's actually, it is actually simple. And I think sometimes we think, well, then it must not work. But I really did believe, I do, I do trust what she had to say at the end. You know what? I bet you it is that simple, and we just want it to be complicated because then we can't do it. 


Brad Crowell 24:24  

Yeah, I mean, but what is it? You know, when you're, what does it mean to look inward


Lesley Logan 24:29  

To listen to yourself and not other people?


Brad Crowell 24:31  

Yeah.


Lesley Logan 24:31  

Oh gosh, I mean, I think it means that you. Well, this is what people won't want to do, and they feel like they're going to let people down because they're doing things for themselves and not for other people. But you, the only we can let people down is if you are actually incapable of being empathetic and loving and and taking and. 


Brad Crowell 24:47  

No, that's not what I mean. What's the practice of looking inward? 


Lesley Logan 24:50  

I think that's personal.


Brad Crowell 24:52  

Yeah, but we have to give them an actual tangible. 


Lesley Logan 24:55  

Well, I think Jamie did it in in the podcast. I think it's in these takeaways.


Brad Crowell 24:59  

So I'm gonna tell you that sitting with yourself and actually not distracting yourself and having a moment to think, that's.


Lesley Logan 25:10  

Yeah, but I'm not gonna tell you right now because I'm looking ahead.


Brad Crowell 25:12  

All right, well stick around. We'll be right back. Because that was a great teaser.


Brad Crowell 25:15  

Woo! Welcome back. Let's dig into those Be It Action Items that we had with Jamie Lerner on the last episode, what bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted action items can we take away from Lesley's convo with her? She said, "Hey, laugh when you judge others, because what that means is that we're actually judging ourselves because we're projecting. We are projecting, and you know, take it from a psychotherapist to understand the technical elements of all those things, she says it simply means we're just projecting how we feel about ourselves onto others because we're judging them. And what that means is we are not connected to ourselves. We are not looking inward on ourselves at all in that moment. And she said it takes a little bit of practice, but when you start to identify that you're judging others, you should laugh at yourself. So I thought that was really funny. Go laugh with yourself, not at yourself.


Lesley Logan 26:07  

Yeah, yeah. No, it's like, hahahaha, I clearly want that. Or there's something about that. How that's so funny. I didn't realize it's something I wanted, or that's something that there's something about that I desire. Or there's you know I actually don't think it's bad to be jealous, I think it is bad to judge yourself for being jealous and not actually taking a moment to know what about that thing is making me have the grass is greener? Oh, there's something about that that you want. Maybe not that exact thing, but there's an energy or an emotion or something. And so I think taking the time to notice what you're jealous of, or we have a couple solo episodes about comparison. I think just came out. Anyways, about comparison, and we compare ourselves when the clarity isn't clear about what we want. And when clarity is clear, you're gonna be more likely to see that someone else doing something has nothing to do with your ability to do something. But when you are comparing yourself to someone else, and that jealousy is there. Then it's a sign, like, "Oh, I'm not clear on what I want. How silly of me to be so hard on myself when I obviously haven't finished planning."


Brad Crowell 27:11  

Yeah, she said, "It's an observation of how often you're disconnected in any given moment, and the realization and laughter allows you to reconnect with yourself. So there's no time to judge yourself for judging others. But what about you?


Lesley Logan 27:25  

Well, this goes into the question you had about going inward. She said, and I'll go back to the other things that she said, set aside 10 minutes every day. That's not even a half a percent of your day. Set aside 10 minutes every day, or just little moments here and there to get tuned back into yourself. And she said, "You can sit quietly and notice how often we're unkind and cruel to ourselves in a way we would never speak to another person. And she said, "In this time, ask yourself questions that are lovingly curious. Oh, I wonder why I am so interested in what that person is doing, or I wonder why I'm so intrigued by that, or I wonder what would allow me to be able to do something like that. Have some loving curiosity about yourself instead of having demanding immediate solutions. Go of needing an answer and just asking is enough. We can go back to episode one.


Brad Crowell 28:11  

Wow.


Lesley Logan 28:11  

Episode one is about just being like it is. 


Brad Crowell 28:15  

I wonder.


Lesley Logan 28:16  

I wonder. You know, and so, opening a loop in your brain, so that you can oh, yeah. I don't think they can read. It's really hard.


Brad Crowell 28:25  

It's hard.


Lesley Logan 28:26  

It's hard. 


Brad Crowell 28:27  

If you're watching on YouTube, we are trying to. There's my 1/3 tattoo on my hand, and it's on for me to see, which makes it very difficult for you to see. So she said, practice this moment by moment, which I also love because.


Brad Crowell 28:39  

Wait, what did she say?


Lesley Logan 28:40  

She said, "Practice this moment by moment", and that's something I also love because we are so hard on ourselves to be able to do this all the time. No, you do little bits, and over time they add up to lots of bits, and then it takes more of your day. And she said, "Most important," she said, "Know yourself, love yourself, and trust yourself, and laugh a lot with yourself." And I do think I remember my parents always saying, "Laughter brings healing to the bones." 


Brad Crowell 29:05  

It's the best medicine. 


Lesley Logan 29:07  

It's the best medicine. It's a great core workout. So I couldn't agree more.


Brad Crowell 29:10  

That's what they said?


Lesley Logan 29:11  

Well, they didn't talk about the core workout, but I added that part. They would take a lesson, go, "Laughter brings healing to the bones."


Brad Crowell 29:17  

Wow. I don't think my parents did that.


Lesley Logan 29:21  

We had very different childhoods. 


Brad Crowell 29:23  

They just tickle monster us.


Lesley Logan 29:24  

You you had a very consistent one. Mine was a little bit of a roller coaster.


Brad Crowell 29:28  

Healing to the bones.


Lesley Logan 29:32  

You know what's something so funny is I was in my Pilates session today, and my teacher Kim was talking to these other two women who were in the group, and they said they said something. He goes, "No, you're not weak. You're impatient." And I laughed so hard as, and they're like, "Oh, I have to put that on my wall. You're not weak. You're just impatient." Yeah, you guys are just expecting yourself to be good about something you just learned yesterday. You're not. It's not a weakness. It's like you're expecting something to happen tomorrow when you just learned how to do it yesterday. You know. So be kind. Have some loving curiosity.


Brad Crowell 30:10  

Yeah. 10 minutes will do that. Set aside.


Lesley Logan 30:13  

I'm Lesley Logan,


Brad Crowell 30:13  

and I'm Brad Crowell.


Lesley Logan 30:14  

You're amazing. Go send this to a friend as they hear it. Go laugh with yourself. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.


Brad Crowell 30:20  

Bye for now.


Lesley Logan 30:21  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


Brad Crowell 31:04  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


Lesley Logan 31:08  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


Brad Crowell 31:13  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


Lesley Logan 31:20  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


Brad Crowell 31:23  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



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