389. How to Know the Language of Your Nervous System

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In this episode, Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell reflect on a recent conversation with Lauren Zoeller, an expert practitioner in somatic therapy and founder of The Aligned Love Experience™. Lauren underscores the transformative power of qualified somatic practitioners in accelerating healing and breaking free from destructive patterns. Listeners will delve into insights from Lauren's interview, including how to recognize trauma responses and implement practical steps for effective somatic self-assessment.

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In this episode you will learn about:

Explanation of somatics as the language of the nervous system.
How somatics differs from traditional talk therapy and its approach.
The unhealthy cycle of codependency in therapy and coaching.
How to do a somatic check-ins to monitor your body’s responses.
Recognize trauma as urgency and learn to slow down and be present.

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Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00

I think what I like about these, it's not about having an answer. It's about just getting into your body and just notice how you're feeling and then like taking a moment to your present because that is where we can actually make true be it till you see it moments in our life is when we're not trying to respond from trauma.

Lesley Logan 0:17

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 0:59

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the relieving convo I have with Lauren Zoeller in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that one, you should listen to it. You should listen to this one or you listen to this one and that one and then listen to the one I was on hers. Because Brad and I are both on hers. So you can just hear Lauren and Brad and my voices in your ear all day today.

Brad Crowell 1:18

It's true.

Lesley Logan 1:19

And you should. Lauren was first on the pod in Episode 131 and 132. Holy moly. That's like 160 episodes later. Well.

Brad Crowell 1:30

It's been a minute.

Lesley Logan 1:31

It's been a minute. Okay, so we'll get into Lauren and her awesomeness. And my ladies who want to learn more about your relationships and like how you feel the way you feel, that's what we're talking about. So stick around. But today is July 4th 2024 and it's the fourth of July. Thank you, Brad. Thank you for writing it out one way.

Brad Crowell 1:47

July 4th is the fourth of July.

Lesley Logan 1:50

It's totally only applicable to Americans. And, you know, sometimes it feels like a not great holiday anymore. But don't worry, we're positive around here. We're really excited. It's one of the biggest national holidays. Americans come together on July 4 to celebrate the nation's birthday and Independence Day. On this day, most Americans enjoy grills in their backyards, at beaches, or in parks. Some partake in parades or marches and enjoy the fireworks that are often launched at dusk. We kick off the festivities with details, trivia, and anything else you need to know about Independence Day. Happy Fourth! This website that we get all the descriptions of the holidays, this is the most bland description of what happens on the fourth. If you live in our neighborhood, everyone does their own firework situation. It is chaos. And our dogs are really chill. Our dogs do not mind. So we're at the pool today. Just so you know. We are at the pool with some of our podcasting friends actually. So some of the people who've been on the show Neda, Michael, couple others are all there. So we're just you know, hanging out on the fourth.

Brad Crowell 2:49

Take it a holiday.

Lesley Logan 2:50

And but other things are coming up that you need to know about is Summer Tour is one month away, we kick it off on August 4th. And most of the cities, many of the cities, workouts are sold out, the workshops are getting closed. So you want to go to opc.me/tour

Brad Crowell 3:04

opc.me/tour

Lesley Logan 3:05

To snag your spot. And also spots, if you want to come to two cities, some people are doing that, I can't wait to see them. It's called the groupies. It's the groupie rule. And also, our tour is powered by Balanced Body, which means we'll be bringing our Contrology Reformer, you could try that out. You could win a gift certificate to Balanced Body and Contrology. And by the way, you can still use my affiliate link when you use that gift certificate so, just saying, you might want to win that. The eLevate applications are going to open up in literally four days. And so if you're listening to this in real time to get your booty over to that waitlist, if you're wanting to find out more information, it's lesleylogan.co/elevate. And I spell my name L-E-S-L-E-Y because that's what you actually spell Lesley. And to the Leslies with they I out there, you're fine too (inaudible).

Brad Crowell 3:48

Yeah, eLevate as a nine month long mentorship program for Pilates teachers who want to really dig in more classically, classical Pilates and connect all the dots across all the different pieces of equipments, stop class planning, all the things.

Lesley Logan 4:04

Yeah, it's really amazing. Our fourth round has actually just finished their fourth out of five weekend. And it's just so cool to see how much they have changed in their teaching in their practice and how their understanding exercises. It's just really beautiful to see their growth. So yeah, we'll have a week for you to apply. And we are only taking 12 people in a group so you know, get on the waitlist and be quick on the application. Cambodia Retreat, October is super sold out. But February has spots in it and there's some amazing women already signed up. They're already getting excited. We have some great people I just can't even wait for that February one as well. So that's crowsnestretreats.com.

Brad Crowell 4:45

Yeah, and lastly we got OPC. We want you to try out OPC we got a special offer just for you. This is the best offer that you're gonna get anywhere, 40 days for $40. It's a dollar a day y'all go to opc.me/40, opc.me/40.

Lesley Logan 5:06

And you can keep coming into our community, you get to meet our crew, you get to, and in 40 days you'll have (inaudible) two different monthly themes, you'll be able to try out more than like five weeks of weekly themes, you can get your feedback on your form, and you come to a live class. You get to experience a true OPC membership in those 40 days. It's a dollar a day, we just found out that that's cheaper than a lemon, just so you know, that's cheaper than if you bought a lemon for every day. It's cheaper than that.

Brad Crowell 5:31

How about that? Before we actually get into Lauren, we had a question today from Jaravia from YouTube. Thanks for asking Jaravia. What is the most beneficial reformer for core strength development? Should I get a basic one, a Tower or a Cadillac? Take it away, Lesley.

Lesley Logan 5:51

So ideally, you don't buy a Reformer combined with anything in the most perfect sense of the world, you would have a Reformer, and you would have a Cadillac. And that would be like my dream for you. Okay, and it'd be a Contrology ideally, an 80 inch, just saying. Use our, use our discount link. But if you are looking for a combo equipment then I would do the Reformer Tower from Contrology. I do not like a reformer combined with a Cadillac. Okay, they are too high. So the Reformer is actually much higher off of the ground. So the little scarier, you cannot mount you cannot do a lot of the setups for the exercise the same way that you would, the bars are in the way so you got to do coordination and your legs are like opening up into bars. You, like you're constantly having to get your head through these bars. So I don't love that. So if you're going to do a combo, I would do a Tower Reformer combo, not a Cadillac Reformer combo. If you're asking like, should I get the tower or the Cadillac? I'm going to say Cadillac if you have the space because honestly, it's the best. But if you don't, or if price is a thing, then a wall unit is really amazing. Super, super great Contrology will have a wall unit out pretty soon. That's my vote for you.

Lesley Logan 5:58

There you go. I love it. Well, if you have a question for us, you can ask it through DMs on Instagram or you can text us at 310-905-5534. Stick around we'll be right back.

Brad Crowell 7:20

Okay, now let's talk about Lauren Zoeller. Speaker, author, host of The Aligned Love podcast and Founder of The Aligned Love Experience™, Lauren is a somatic and relationship expert who emphasizes understanding the body’s responses to trauma. She advocates for recognizing these responses and encourages individuals to learn the language of their nervous system to break free from unhealthy patterns and find healthy relationships.

Lesley Logan 7:47

Yeah, and she does relationships not just with love, but like at work with your work, with money, we have lots of relations in our life and how you treat one is how you treat a lot of them. So she kind of works with a lot of those things. I love a lot of the things that she said and we're gonna get into some other really, really good ones because you like those ones that I like too. To explain somatics, I think, is the best way to go into this podcast. It's like somatics is the language of the nervous system. And so it's like how your nervous system is sharing how it feels about things. And sometimes we can't articulate with how we're feeling we just don't feel right. And that's what's gonna be what somatics is, the language of your nervous system. And it's a language that a lot of us were never taught to speak, a lot of us were not taught to feel our feelings or like I was told like children should be seen not heard. So you'd be like sniffling, crying. It's like, hey, suck it up. But once you know the language of your nervous system, she said, You can shift the way you relate to anything in your life. And so she's worked with a lot of leaders, mostly women, and she was able to like really help them express their frustration. So it's just really cool to see how somatics can work because especially if you've done a lot of talk therapy, you've done a lot of like, you know, life coaching and like things haven't changed, and you're just in the same cycle. It sounds like what you need is somatics so you can actually understand your nervous system. What it's trying to tell you.

Brad Crowell 9:08

Yeah, yeah. So the, the language of the nervous system, and I think it's good to understand that, when she's talking about it just sounded like oh, I don't know what it just sounds like therapy, right? But the thing that I liked, where she was talking about somatics is it's more than it's like the sum of it all is what it is, right? So there are different forms of therapy and somatics incorporates all different parts. So she wasn't knocking talk therapy. She said that's one piece of it, but it's only like 20% of it. You know and so there's more to it. And that's what I thought was really intriguing that there's a bigger (inaudible).

Lesley Logan 9:49

And also, like, to truly do what she does, it's like eight years of like it's many, many years of training. This is not like you do this on a weekend, you guys, so like

Brad Crowell 9:58

I got certified.

Lesley Logan 9:59

So be mindful when like, working or looking at people who are doing somatics because it's becoming a hot thing right now is like I do somatics. And it's like, you know, it's not just your breathwork person who did a weekend course, like, you really want to find someone who is truly aligned because when you are doing somatic work, their shift can be like, it's important. So, I really appreciate how much training and studying she constantly does and how much she's done it already.

Brad Crowell 10:25

Yeah, Lauren, also has a team of coaches, and they're all certified. So, yep, that's pretty awesome. Well, she also dug into this idea of being stuck forever in the therapy or the coaching. And she said, it's actually unhealthy. She said that, there's got to be a point where we are at a place where we can manage it ourselves without still being in the program, or still having a coach or, you know, and I can't remember if it was you or her who mentioned, you know, imagine going to college and never been allowed to graduate, like that just, there's no logic to that the way like, you start it, you take it, you pass, and then you leave.

Lesley Logan 11:05

You know, I heard that I heard it from a cult podcast that I listen to.

Brad Crowell 11:10

That was you.

Lesley Logan 11:12

Because they were like, you, you get into a course program. And then they say, continue to have more and more courses that you need to buy to get closer and closer to God or the source or the leader or whatever it is, then like, you know, that's not healthy, that's a cult.

Brad Crowell 11:26

Well, and she, she kind of laughed when she said it like this is probably bad for my business to say that there's a place where you should be able to move on, because, you know, but I think it's true, you know, and she started to talk about codependency and how people get stuck in the rut of the therapy, or the meetings, there's actually something called Codependents Anonymous, or, obviously, we've all heard Alcoholics Anonymous, or all these other things. Or maybe it is just the talk therapy, or maybe it's a codependency in relationships with someone that you're with. Right? And she started to talk about how, especially in the coaching world, we've kind of built into our programs the idea that people should stick around forever, right, stay with me forever. nd she said, we've been building really deep codependencies. I mean, we, if we're doing it that way, then we as coaches aren't necessarily doing our jobs.

Lesley Logan 12:22

Yeah, yeah, it's true. It's true. Yeah, I also, before we get into our Be It Action Items, I just want to say like we also did a whole talk about the like the responses which is like the fight–fight, flight, fright and fun. (Inaudible) Yes. and fun is something a lot of women end up doing. It's a very people-pleasing, like, let me fix this thing. And I, so I highly encourage you to go listen to that whole segment on the pod because the way she explains it is really amazing. And when you start to learn how a your response is, it really helps you again, learn the language of your nervous system. Oh, I'm fawning right now. It's a little like, hello.

Brad Crowell 13:04

That was a new one for me. I knew about, obviously, we've all heard of fight or flight. Freeze makes sense and then fawn was new. And I think we talked about that a few weeks ago, actually on the pod. But yeah, awesome. Okay, stick around.

Brad Crowell 13:18

All right, so finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items, what bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your conversation with Lauren Zoeller? Well, we were talking about learning the language of the nervous system, or actually that somatics is the language of the nervous system. So how do we learn that language? And she had a very methodical approach to learning this language. And she said, set a timer, you're going to do a somatic check in. She said, like every three hours, do it for a week, right? And she said, what, what you're going to do is pull out a pen and paper, you're gonna document the sensations and emotions that you're feeling at the time that it goes off. Right, so open your phone's Notes app, write the sensations and emotions that are present in your body, and then document what you were doing when it went off. She said, avoid rationalizing, this is important. She specifically did not say if you do explain why you're feeling those emotions, or sensations, just that you are write them down, and then focus solely on documenting what sensations, what emotions were present and what you were doing at the moment. That's it. That's all. Right? And she said, what this does is after a week it allows you to understand, you know, where your nervous system is, on a moment-to-moment basis. So if you're, maybe you're commuting, right, or maybe you're working or maybe you're at lunch, or maybe you're with the family, or maybe you're cooking dinner or whatever, and if you're doing this on a consistent schedule. Throughout the week, you can start to see how come every time I'm at work, you know, sweating, I'm like freaking out or I'm like feeling, feeling it in my chest or whatever, you know, start to identify those things. And then you're going to be equipping yourself with a different type of language around, you know, and a different perspective around how you're doing what you're doing. And that will lead to why you're doing it that way. You know, she has some resources available, you know, to help dig into this a little bit more. So we'll be putting that in the show notes. What about you? What was your biggest takeaway?

Lesley Logan 13:38

She brought up like, discuss, like trauma as an urgency, which is a fight and action response like, so if you are trying to have instant gratification or you're, you're wanting things to like, happen over, overnight success, it's actually can lead to further trauma. So I know I'm someone who like need, like, Lauren and I are very similar. We just went a week together. And like, we like to know the answer now. Like right now, like, let's just know that now it's almost, I feel better if we've like, made a decision, you know, which is instant gratification that can just be a trauma response. And, and so she said, the things that are meant to be savored in life and make your life robust, are the ones where you actually slow down. And so she said, or, like, were able to build a space, like build it from a space of true presence and being grounded. So if you are like trying to make decisions from an instant spot, like take action kind of a thing, it can actually be, it can actually

Brad Crowell 15:32

She said it's a trauma response.

Lesley Logan 15:41

Yeah. Yeah. So it's your nervous system telling you like, I'm like, I'm activated right now. And so part of how you relate to things like let me just do this right now. But she's like really trying to get you to like, based on the other Be It Action, I'm like, take a moment. And just notice how you're feeling and not make and not make a reason, which is very hard for people to do. And we had Dr. Bender on. And she said, try not to reason with how you're feeling. Just notice how you're feeling because we're often wrong. So but what she then said is like, so when you're feeling an urgent need for immediate results, or instant gratification, recognize it's trauma response. And then in order to break the pattern, slow down and focus on being present, which is really hard to do.

Brad Crowell 17:09

It's hard.

Lesley Logan 17:09

It's really hard to do. So I just want to shout in Jenny Schatzle had a breathing exercise that we had in another Be It another Be It Action Item just a few weeks ago. Maybe it was a month ago at this point. Her breathing where we did see others just inhale exhale. That was it. That was it. That was her thing. So try that to get yourself present. So combine these two. And just, you know, I think what I like about this is that it's not about having an answer. It's about just getting into your body and just notice how you're feeling. And then like taking a moment to your present because that is where we can actually make true, be it till you see it moments in our life is when we're not trying to respond from trauma.

Brad Crowell 17:54

Yeah, if you want to go back to that episode with Jenny, it's episode 376.

Lesley Logan 17:59

Yeah. So I mean, Lauren's right. If you haven't yet listened to her first episodes on the pod, I highly recommend going back to those 131 and 132. And then, if you want to hear about Brad and I, and our aligned love on her podcast, you can do that on The Aligned Love podcast.

Brad Crowell 18:15

Yeah, we'll put the link to her pod in the show notes. You can find it wherever pods are found, The Aligned Love. Well, anyway, it was super fun to have Lauren join us first, in person in Vegas, but also in-person in Nashville (inaudible).

Lesley Logan 18:31

We spent more days with her in a week than we have seen her ever in life. So yeah, but you know, she's fabulous. She's family. And so I'm just really grateful that she does what she does because a lot of people need it. And she's, you know, changing lives out there. So I'm Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell 18:46

And I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 18:48

Thank you so much for joining us today. You are amazing. In case you didn't remember in case someone told you that you are incredible and awesome. And we're so grateful for you. And if you haven't left a review for this podcast, please do it.

Brad Crowell 18:57

Do it.

Lesley Logan 18:58

That would be a really great gift to me. It's also a great way for you to be present. You could take note of what you learned from this episode.

Brad Crowell 19:03

It would be a great gift to me, too.

Lesley Logan 19:05

Yeah, great gift to Brad. You know Brad needs to get, his birthday's coming up, everyone. Leave a review for his birthday. (Inaudible) It is. So and then share this with a friend who needs. If you got a friend who's like you know, as one of those people who's just like acting out of trauma sometimes you're like, Oh, you can see it. Sometimes you can see others and we can see it in ourselves. Send this to them because you don't have to tell them what to do. You can just let them learn about it on their own. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell 19:27

Bye for now.

Lesley Logan 19:29

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day.

Lesley Logan 19:56

Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 20:11

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 20:16

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 20:21

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 20:28

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 20:31

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

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