734. You’ll Know When You’re True to Yourself

00:00
36:12

Saying yes to everyone sounds generous right up until you notice who is actually paying for it. Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell recap their favorite takeaways from the conversation with transformational coach, speaker, and author Peter Kolat, also known as Polish Peter, who landed in Detroit at fourteen with no English and rebuilt his life after a recession and a divorce. Brad gets honest about the job he stayed in way too long and what finally made it unbearable.


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In this episode you will learn about:

  • What the three letters in DEI actually mean without the politics.
  • The costs of saying yes to everyone and everything in your life.
  • The difference between a business plan and a personal life vision.
  • How to spot the signal that you are on the wrong path.
  • Peter's daily practice for hearing yourself think again.


Episode References/Links:


Guest Bio:

Peter Kolat is a transformational coach, speaker, and author who helps people uncover the quiet beliefs holding them back and rebuild on more honest ground. Known as "Polish Peter," he arrived in the U.S. from Poland at 14 with no English, trained as an architect, and later moved into coaching after a personal and financial turning point reshaped his path. Today he's recognized for a direct, no-nonsense style and a talent for naming the limiting beliefs people can't see in themselves. A Robbins-Madanes certified coach, Peter has spoken at more than 100 live events and authored The Authentic Self Rebirth. He co-hosts The Lifeonaire Show and leads a national coaching company.

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Episode Transcript:

Brad Crowell 0:00  

You'll know when you're true to yourself if it feels like nothing is missing, right? If something is missing, if something feels like it's missing, then you're probably not being true to yourself, right? You're not being your authentic self.


Lesley Logan 0:12  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.


Brad Crowell 0:53  

Take it away.


Lesley Logan 0:56  

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap for my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the authentic convo I had with Peter Kolat, also known as Polish Peter, in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause us now. Go back and listen to Polish Peter, and then come back and join us.


Brad Crowell 1:15  

Yeah, Polish Peter, I love it.


Lesley Logan 1:15  

I know. It's on his Zoom call. It says Polish Peter.


Brad Crowell 1:18  

That's what he calls himself. Yeah, he explained it in the episode. I kind of had a good chuckle, but yeah, a lot of fun.


Lesley Logan 1:24  

I mean, he's Polish.


Brad Crowell 1:25  

Well, there's that. I mean, I hope I would hope he's Polish. He better fucking be Polish if he's calling himself Polish. 


Lesley Logan 1:32  

And he's not just Polish. He's from Poland. So there's that. All right. So today is September 17th. Here's the deal, guys. We're gonna get down and dirty because you know what? The day before recording this, I'm a little, I'm a little annoyed. So we're in on this stuff. It is whether or not people wanted to celebrate this day. There, we are celebrating it. It is National DEI Day.


Brad Crowell 1:53  

It's September 17th.


Lesley Logan 1:54  

That's right. It's September 17th. It is National DEI Day. National DEI Day champions our nation's commitment to diversity, equity, and inclusion every September 17th, sharing its date with Constitution and Citizenship. Wow, with Constitution and Citizenship Days. I wonder if the people who aren't into DEI have ever read the Constitution or taken a citizenship test. Anyways, it reinforces values of democracy and belonging. I am zesty today, and belonging. Communities nationwide are encouraged to wear blue and unite to celebrate equity in action. Discover resources, participate in discussions, and support initiatives that foster a truly inclusive society. So, Brad put some stuff together.


Brad Crowell 2:36  

Yeah, DEI. Here's what each word actually means, but completely stripped of political charge that's been layered with all of the craziness that's been happening.


Lesley Logan 2:47  

Okay, by the way, if anyone's triggered by the fact that we're talking about DEI, they're already gone. 


Brad Crowell 2:51  

So yeah, this is probably already gone. 


Lesley Logan 2:53  

Yeah, but this is for our people who needed to explain it to their family members. 


Brad Crowell 2:57  

Well, yeah, I think it's really important. DEI is just this supercharged acronym. We told my dad that our government is going after people about. They've shut down grants to universities because the university has a DEI class. But what is DEI? What does that actually mean? Right. The D stands for Diversity. The E is Equity. The I is Inclusion. But D includes the presence of people with different backgrounds, identities, and experiences in a group or organization. So that's all different backgrounds, identities, and experiences. This includes, but is not limited to, race, ethnicity, gender, age, sexual orientation, disability, socioeconomic background. Right?


Lesley Logan 3:42  

Yeah. If you're poor.


Brad Crowell 3:43  

You're DEI, right? National origin, so that could certainly be people from another country. It could also mean religion, and also side note, every fucking person who's ever been in the military.


Lesley Logan 3:56  

Yeah, you're DEI. When we told my family member, we're like, you're DEI. I'm like, you are over 65, so that's an age thing. You are a veteran.


Brad Crowell 4:07  

Yep.


Lesley Logan 4:08  

DEI.


Brad Crowell 4:09  

Yeah.


Lesley Logan 4:09  

There it is. You are. I have a sweatshirt that says you're probably DEI too.


Brad Crowell 4:14  

Yeah. So that's the D. So E is designing systems so that outcomes aren't predetermined by someone's starting point, so it's not the same as equality, giving everyone the same thing, right? This is equity. Equity means adjusting for the fact that different people face different barriers.


Lesley Logan 4:35  

Yeah, I mean, if you grow up in a poor area of town in the U.S., that likely means that your school has less funding, which means if you're able to be a straight-A student in your school with less funding, equity means that they see you similarly to someone who went to a very high-end school versus like, "Oh well, you got a 3.8 at this school, but these people have 4.2's." No, they're like, "Oh hi, that's insane, that's amazing, whoa, we should look at that."


Brad Crowell 5:08  

Well, it's adjusting. Yeah, exactly. It's adjusting for the fact that there are different barriers of entry. Right? So that's what equity is.


Lesley Logan 5:15  

There's also a really interesting thing. You can see it on YouTube. It was going around during 2020 and 2021, where they just put people on a starting line and they ask them questions, right? Did you have this? Did you have that growing up? Did you have this growing up? And you have to take certain steps forward or backward, and then you look and you see people of different socioeconomic backgrounds and races often are behind other places, and it doesn't mean that we take these other people down. It's that we actually go, "Oh, we should actually account for that and give these people an opportunity to even the drawing, give them a better opportunity at life."


Brad Crowell 5:52  

I stands for Inclusion. Whether people who are present actually feel welcome, they feel heard, and they're able to participate fully, or whether they're just technically in the room, right? Making sure that everyone has a voice.


Lesley Logan 6:06  

It's like in the '80s, or I don't remember when they, for, "Oh well, that board has a woman on the board, but she doesn't ever get to talk, and her points are never listened to." Then it's not actually included.


Brad Crowell 6:18  

She's the talking woman on the board.


Lesley Logan 6:19  

Yeah.


Brad Crowell 6:20  

Right. Yeah. So who is included in DEI? This is where it often gets—I'm just going to sum it all up. This is often where it gets misunderstood. DEI frameworks were born out of civil rights and anti-discrimination work. So, in practice, the groups most often centered are Black, Latino, Hispanic, Indigenous, Asian, women, LGBTQ+, people with disabilities, and veterans. However, the framework itself is not exclusive to those groups. A white man from rural Appalachia with no college degree is considered diverse in a room full of Ivy League professionals, and equity would ask whether he has had the same shot at advancement. Right? So.


Lesley Logan 7:02  

But they would never tell that guy that.


Brad Crowell 7:06  

Okay, well, the political fight isn't really just about the definition; it's about whether these frameworks produce fair outcomes or create preferential treatment, right? That's the—that is where the argument is: Is it right for us to give a voice to the guy from Appalachia? Are we giving preferential treatment to him, or is it producing a fair outcome? And that's where, you know, that's now where opinion comes into play, right? It's about that and whether institutional programs built around DEI actually deliver on the premise or become performative checkbox exercises, right? So it's definitely easy to just turn into a checkbox exercise. This is where reasonable people land on different places.


Lesley Logan 7:45  

Yeah, I mean, look, I don't know that DEI mandates, the wrong word, but values in a company are always going to be perfect. I think everything is going to have flaws, and there's always going to be blind spots to different things just based on experiences, no matter where you land on the board, but I do think that punishing people because they have DEI as a value system or something that's important to them is wrong, and also just assuming that somebody who is of any of the things we said got there because they were just gifted a thing is just ignorant. 


Brad Crowell 8:22  

It would also be wrong.


Lesley Logan 8:24  

It's wrong to assume. "Oh, there's a person of color, or a poor person, or a woman, or a queer person in a job. It's because DEI." No, every person who interviews for a job still has to get past the interview. They still have to get there. You know what I mean? It's so interesting to me how people think that something is happening at them. We all benefit when there's different people at.


Brad Crowell 8:51  

Oh the stats are in. I mean, the, the if you go look at any corporation that focuses on diversity in their company, they perform better as a company. There's not even any question.


Lesley Logan 9:02  

100% So I don't know. We obviously, I want to say about Polish Peter, but I just think it's really important. If you're listening, there's a good chance you're probably DEI too in some way, and if you have family members who are really like, they roll their eyes at those letters, I strongly encourage you to look up and see if they fall in under DEI and explain it to them because what sounds like is that they've been brainwashed that people are having a leg up on them, which is not true. And if they just recognized that they also fall under these things, there are systems for them. Like, this is the thing that frustrates me the most. There are systems for people,


Brad Crowell 9:38  

Yeah.


Lesley Logan 9:39  

Who think that the world is against them. There are these things. You have to look them up. It's really frustrating, but there are these things. I hear about different things that Vegas offers people in different socioeconomic backgrounds and homes. I didn't even know existed. I'm like, how are people hearing about this? But we do have. 


Brad Crowell 9:55  

I mean, we're watching The Pit right now. Again, literally. Lesley's on the third time through. I'm on the second time through, and there's in season two. There is a unhoused guy who he needs a bath really bad, right? And he gets in to they they they clean him up and they start talking to him and everything. And the charge nurse, the head charge nurse, says, you know, you need to work the system. The system is there to support you. You have to learn how to work the system. Right? And and so it's shoot that wrong. 


Lesley Logan 10:25  

We have some incredible people on our teaching team and and our team who've had things that are outside of their control, just terrible things that just have sidelined their dreams. And not only did they work the system, and yes, it requires you being on long phone call holds and doing the paperwork and and keeping the receipts, but their kids are benefiting from it and 


Brad Crowell 10:48  

Yeah, big time. 


Lesley Logan 10:48  

So do it. 


Brad Crowell 10:49  

In a good way.


Lesley Logan 10:50  

Do it.


Brad Crowell 10:51  

Yeah.


Lesley Logan 10:51  

And also we are voting in the next less than 60 days. Please consider how you are voting and who supports people. 


Brad Crowell 10:59  

Well, first off, make sure you vote.


Lesley Logan 11:01  

Make sure you vote.


Brad Crowell 11:02  

Yeah.


Lesley Logan 11:02  

You can vote for whoever you want, but also think about how that person feels about other people.


Brad Crowell 11:08  

Yeah.


Lesley Logan 11:09  

You know. Anyways, we got to get into it. 


Brad Crowell 11:11  

We're going to talk about what's coming up here and what our travel is.


Lesley Logan 11:14  

The upLifter, upLift Teacher Training Program. We're actually onboarding our instructors this fall, so. 


Brad Crowell 11:20  

Our educators. 


Lesley Logan 11:21  

Our educators, for that this fall and upLift is for people who want to become a pilates instructor or people who have had partial trainings who would like to make it a comprehensive training so they can have a career and longevity in this career. So if you are interested in my upLift teacher training program and being able to do that in person with one of our educators, xxll.co/uws. No, we still don't have a link for all these things, but we'll get there probably next year. It's a 2027 goal. All right. eLevate. That is my mentorship program. So that's for those of you who are—if you're like, "Oh, I would love to learn from you, but I'm already trained teacher." That's eLevate. We have a few spots left, and you can actually watch. 


Brad Crowell 11:57  

Well, we might be sold out by the time you hear this in September, but yeah, we'll see. At the very least, get on the wait list for future.


Lesley Logan 12:03  

Just go and check, and you never know. And we'll figure out a better way to announce this stuff. lesleylogan.co/elevate. But you should go learn about it and see if it's the right thing for you. 


Brad Crowell 12:12  

I mean, honestly, the the the reality is this: that 2027 is already sold out. 2028 is almost sold out, right? So if this is something that you're considering, it's getting further out in the future. So now is the time to start thinking about it because, you know, we might already be talking about 2029. 


Lesley Logan 12:29  

And I won't even let them pick dates, so we're not even talking. But anyways, I want you in if you want in. I want you in. It's not some elitist thing, by the way. It's just people always, "Oh, I can't believe I got accepted." It's, yeah, you meet the requirements and why you want to join is why I do the program, and so it's a kind of a first-come, first-serve. I'm not one of those hierarchical. Is that the right word?


Brad Crowell 12:49  

Yeah, you nailed it.


Lesley Logan 12:49  

Yeah, educators where you must have been teaching 30 years, and you must bow down to me and be in my cult. No, I, I really, if you want to learn from me and you meet the why we do what we do and what you need to have done, then it's a first-come, first-serve. So there is no someone had this training and that's why they're in over someone else. Nope, nope. Also, our flashcards. Did you know that if you want to support this podcast and you're not ready to be an OPC member, there's a way to support this podcast by buying our flashcards. And when you buy our flashcards, you don't just support us. You actually support the Nevada SPCA.


Brad Crowell 13:21  

Hey, love that.


Lesley Logan 13:22  

And they do fucking great work.


Brad Crowell 13:24  

Yes.


Lesley Logan 13:24  

Yeah. opc.me/flashcards.


Brad Crowell 13:26  

We were able to buy all of the dogs in the. 


Lesley Logan 13:30  

Not just the dogs, Brad. We were able to pay for 114 shelter animals' food for one week.


Brad Crowell 13:35  

That's amazing.


Lesley Logan 13:36  

And at the time, they only had 61 shelter animals, so we probably paid for two weeks of. 


Brad Crowell 13:40  

That's what I thought. It was two weeks. The way that it worked out was it's two weeks worth of meals for the the animals that they had, the future pets that they had, and we're really proud of that, y'all. Like this is not just Lesley and I saying this. This is your participation with Online Pilates Classes. We are so excited to be able to write that check, and we write it every quarter, and it's because of you.


Lesley Logan 14:03  

And also, we should be updating you on Q3 soon. So stay tuned. We'll see how many more animals we we fed, or how many we paid for the adoption fees for. Anyways, posters.


Brad Crowell 14:14  

Yeah, people have asked us where the posters are found. The OPC posters. Just go to opc.me/posters, and then real quick, we're gonna rip through this. Yeah, we'll be in Sacramento in October for Pilates On Tour. 


Lesley Logan 14:26  

It's sold out.


Brad Crowell 14:27  

It is sold out, but we'll be there, and we'll be bringing the flashcards, by the way. And then Lesley and I literally leave our van, and we take the BART into San Francisco, and we are going to hop on a plane to go to Cambodia to host our annual retreat there, which is also.


Lesley Logan 14:44  

Well. It's been sold out for a long time, but you can get on. You're making it sound like no one can hang out with us.


Brad Crowell 14:48  

No.


Lesley Logan 14:48  

You can get on the wailist because we will not sell tickets to 2027 until January. There is space in 2027 hangouts. But you got to be on the waitlist for that.


Brad Crowell 14:58  

In November, Lesley is going to be at a Pilates summit in China.


Lesley Logan 15:02  

Yes. 


Brad Crowell 15:03  

Just outside of Shanghai.


Lesley Logan 15:04  

Still have no link for you, but I heard that they're promoting it on the Chinese socials. 


Brad Crowell 15:09  

Yes, it is up and out. We're we're working on that.


Lesley Logan 15:11  

Tell your friends in China. Yeah, hopefully I can come a lot.


Brad Crowell 15:15  

That'd be awesome.


Lesley Logan 15:16  

Yeah.


Brad Crowell 15:16  

In December, Lesley's going to India. She's going to be in Goa.


Lesley Logan 15:19  

There are spaces.


Brad Crowell 15:20  

And there are spaces at the Pilates On Tour there, the POT there. So go to xxll.co/pot 


Lesley Logan 15:27  

And Goa, you guys, I said yes because when you look at Goa, you too will say yes. And the way they do Goa is so different. They treat it almost like you're going on a retreat. So your ticket covers the resort, the food, the whole thing.


Brad Crowell 15:39  

Oh, nice.


Lesley Logan 15:40  

Yeah.


Brad Crowell 15:41  

You have food there too. That's great.


Lesley Logan 15:42  

Well, of course they're gonna feed me. They always do, but everyone you fed.


Brad Crowell 15:45  

Not you, I meant the ticket attendees. 


Lesley Logan 15:46  

Yeah, they get everything, and then it covers their their end of resort. We're all at a resort together.


Brad Crowell 15:51  

Very cool.


Lesley Logan 15:52  

It's gonna be like the White Lotus, but not no murders, no affairs.


Brad Crowell 15:58  

Awesome, and then Lesley literally flies from India straight to Denver, which you know that we're in Vegas. But I'm driving the van to Denver. She's gonna fly from India to Denver, and I'll pick her up, and we're gonna hit the road for our winter tour for OPC. 


Lesley Logan 16:14  

Weird, wild, and crazy, and people think I'm 30 years old.


Brad Crowell 16:16  

Yeah, so come join us. Go to opc.me/events opc.me/events. 


Lesley Logan 16:21  

And if you're like, oh, I'm gonna do next year's, just so you know, I've accepted nothing for 2027.


Brad Crowell 16:28  

For the winter tour?


Lesley Logan 16:29  

No, I mean for any of these POTs or


Brad Crowell 16:32  

Any of the events, yes. 


Lesley Logan 16:33  

Or whatever. We haven't at this moment that we're recording. We have, I've accepted. Oh, I've accepted one thing, but I haven't had the contract on it yet, so. 


Brad Crowell 16:41  

That's true. That's true. Oh, actually, before we leave, hold on, stick around, stick around. We are very excited to talk about the charity of the week. So this week's charity is we're going to be highlighting the Americans for Immigrant Justice. It's a Miami-based nonprofit law firm fighting for immigrant basic human rights for nearly 30 years. Since 1996, they provided free legal representation because, unlike criminal court, there's no guaranteed right to an attorney in immigration proceedings. I just want to say that again. We all know that the court provides us an attorney if we need one, right? We do, we do, we get that, yes. But if you are an immigrant, if you're going through immigration proceedings, that is not a guaranteed right, right? So what do you? First off, you might not even know anything about our legal system, and then what? You're supposed to represent yourself? That's crazy.


Lesley Logan 17:34  

Well, we have friends who, because of all this ICE shit, are being thrown into representing people because it's hitting the federal courts now, which is not normally how it goes, and they are having to learn immigration shit.


Brad Crowell 17:44  

Yeah, and so, yeah, so this organization offers literally free legal counsel. It's all in the Miami-Dade area, so South Florida, but it's—it's—it's amazing. They've provided attorneys to more than 175,000 people from over 160 countries. That's amazing. They're the only provider offering on-site legal help at Miami-Dade's domestic violence shelter. They do not just immigration, but they also do violence, like domestic violence. They've exposed abusive conditions inside detention centers in Florida and on the Texas border. And in 2025, they won a federal injunction blocking a Florida law that would have made it a felony for certain undocumented people to simply be in the state. 


Lesley Logan 18:23  

Wow, this is really cool. And also, I'm sure if you don't live in Florida, I bet you they have friends and colleagues in different states.


Brad Crowell 18:30  

Yeah, they're four-star rated by Charity Navigator. Your donation actually goes to real on-the-ground work for people who have nowhere else to turn. And you can find out more at aijustice.org. AIjustice.org.


Lesley Logan 18:43  

I love that. It's really important. You know, there's a lot of ish happening right now, and it's, it's very scary, and it's all meant to just scare. It's all scare tactics, but also these are real people who are being locked up in places that it's not how it's normally done. They're actually, when people say, "Do it the right way," a lot of these people are. They actually went to their immigration appointment and they got picked up. It takes a long time. So, anyways, please take a look at how you can support people who have immigrated here in your areas. If this organization doesn't work, there's probably a lot of different ways you can support those in your community. Do that.


Brad Crowell 19:17  

Yeah, and if you have a recommendation for a charity that we should investigate and check out, send us a text 310-905-5534, or you can submit that to beitpod.com/questions. You can also leave us a win for the Friday episodes, and if you know, you know. Stick around. We'll be right back. All right, let's talk about Peter, known as Polish Peter and sometimes Polish Tony, for his Tony Robbins-esque style. He's a transformational coach, speaker, and author. Born in communist Poland, Peter landed in Detroit in 1991 at the age of 14 with no English and Big Dreams of the USA, shaped by Hollywood movies. He trained as an architect, but after the 2008 recession and a divorce, he found his way into coaching. Today, he helps people like—all the stories holding them back, and asks the tough, sobering questions that people need to hear, rather than what they want to hear. He does have a book. It's called The Authentic Self Rebirth, and we'll put the link in the show notes, so check it out below. 


Lesley Logan 20:13  

But he's got such great energy. 


Brad Crowell 20:16  

Yeah, my Authentic Birth. You can find it, and he has a book there. It's free right now, apparently, actually.


Lesley Logan 20:21  

No, you just pay for shipping handling.


Brad Crowell 20:22  

Yeah, awesome. So yeah, yeah, it was a great convo.


Lesley Logan 20:25  

I agree. I don't. I think I don't even remember. Remember when the 747s were falling out of the sky, like they were having issues.


Brad Crowell 20:34  

Yeah, sure. Like two years ago.


Lesley Logan 20:35  

No, more like before COVID. But there was that. Was it really? Yeah, maybe they weren't 747s. Maybe they were—remember the Boeing? There were Boeings, and there was two that the pilots were trying to do something, and the computer was doing the opposite thing. Yeah, and then you were on a plane to New Orleans, and I had to get on a plane to Poland, and it was one of these Boeing numbers, and I started having a panic attack, and you weren't answering your phone because you were on a plane,


Brad Crowell 21:00  

I think it was 2023, babe.


Lesley Logan 21:02  

No, definitely not. It was before COVID. We lived in LA, and so I'm texting you, "I think I'm gonna die now. I'm going." 


Brad Crowell 21:10  

Oh yes, I do remember this.


Lesley Logan 21:11  

And I love you so much. Here's where I come down. 


Brad Crowell 21:15  

This was your first trip to Poland.


Lesley Logan 21:17  

My first trip to Poland, and they made me check my bag, which you know how much I hate because I said it was too heavy, and so of course I found some tequila and some kombucha, and I made myself a margarita at the airport. And I'm walking around drinking my margarita that I made, and I get myself on this plane. I was like, okay, if the plane takes off and nothing happens in 20 minutes, I think we're okay. So I set a timer, and I'm just sitting there with my timer. What? Nothing happened.


Brad Crowell 21:43  

What? No idea what you said.


Lesley Logan 21:44  

Well, I was just like watching my timer. I was just watching the timer. I was watching 20 minutes tick down, right? Because I was like, "This is—this is when it's going to happen. It's going to happen the next 20 minutes." And this woman next to me, when there was no one in the middle seat, she was, "I'm scared to fly too," and I was like, "Oh yeah, normally no, but this is one of those planes that goes down, so I'm just scared to be on this one." And she started talking about being living in communist Poland.


Brad Crowell 22:06  

She did?


Lesley Logan 22:07  

Yeah. And she told me it was so wonderful because she talked nonstop. Even my timer went off. She just kept talking, and she told me her whole life trying to escape communist Poland and how her family got to the U.S. and because in communist Poland you couldn't have access to your passport, so you had to have different reasons to get access to it. And then they watched you heavily when you had access to your passport. And she and her family were able to escape Poland and come to the United States.


Brad Crowell 22:37  

That's amazing.


Lesley Logan 22:37  

Yes, and it was a beautiful story. It was, and then she's like, "And I'm going back to see family." I'm like, so. 


Brad Crowell 22:43  

Why would you do that? Okay. 


Lesley Logan 22:44  

But it's not communist. Anyways. But it was. I just, anyways, I thought of her when I thought of that story and thought of her when with Peter because how difficult for his family to come here and then to be a child. Now he's in Detroit. How many Polish people are in Detroit. He's in Detroit. He doesn't know English, and English is. You think Polish is hard? English is hard. So, anyways, he operates, and this is probably why, is because he operates under the belief that life happens for me, not to me. And I know we've all heard that before, but you really do have to think about that in a way that's, that helps you because shit happens, and if you really can think about it, he, you know, in 2008 he lost all the things and his partner and all this stuff, and if he can think about this is happening for me and see the opportunities that are there to grow and to become a different person and to have a different life, so he definitely had some really good explanations. He said, imagine banging your head against the drywall, like something's going to give.


Brad Crowell 23:42  

Something will give.


Lesley Logan 23:43  

It will, and if you live at a flipped house, it will definitely give. But it's not good. You don't want to do that. He does—he said you should figure out what the root cause of the issue was going on. Like, really going back in time, and I think a lot of us stick to the surface level. This happened, so this is the thing. But there's often a first domino that starts the effect. So he also, I really like when he talked about the different patterns that signal a wrong direction, and we have to pivot. And my God, I know we all hate that word. It's still like a trigger word for us. But there's nothing wrong with a good pivot. I don't know. I'm a pivot queen.


Brad Crowell 24:19  

I think it's a great skill to have. I mean, it's also an important time to step back and reevaluate.


Lesley Logan 24:27  

Well, I was just talking with some eLevate people this week about how sometimes they get so super focused on this one thing in a person doing an exercise, and I love how you are a dog with a bone on that. But you got to zoom out because if you don't zoom out, you're actually missing that these three things are happening, which is probably why the thing you're zoomed in is happening there. And if you don't zoom out, then you're actually going to be going in the wrong direction. Where if you zoomed out and made a pivot, it doesn't mean you're a bad teacher. It actually means you're, you're going, "Whoa, hold on! I have more information, and now I can take us in the right direction." No, that's what.


Brad Crowell 25:06  

Well, I really loved what he was talking about. How do we know that we're being authentic? Because that's just be yourself. Just be authentic.


Lesley Logan 25:13  

I love this because everyone talks about being authentic. It's so annoying, but I love the word. Yeah, how do you know if you are?


Brad Crowell 25:18  

He said when you are true to yourself, he said, "You'll know when you're true to yourself if it feels like nothing is missing," right? If something is missing, if something feels like it's missing, then you're probably not being true to yourself, right? You're not being your authentic self. He also said that if you're living from stories of what the world told you to be, not how you need to be, right? So it's, this goes back to all the, you know, parallel here is like magazines or society telling you what this is how you should do it, and it's not necessarily the right path for you, right? For me, yeah, I agree. Yeah, you know, so I think it's amazing when you are pressured by something outside of you. That could be your parents. That could be your school. That could be your church. That could be whatever it might be. Your job. There's tension. There's obviously tension there. Sometimes the pressure is good. They're helping you with your path, but you know if the pressure is not good, right? It makes me think of my job that I had before I finally quit. Yeah, I mean, look, my parents pushed me to be a better student. You know, that's a good thing. My job pushed me to do things that could I do those things? Yes. Should I do those things? Probably shouldn't have done those things. You know, there was so much turmoil and tension in doing those things, but I was, I felt stuck. Felt super, super stuck. I need to get paid. I need to, you know, that's what's keeping me here. Is the only thing that's keeping me here is the paycheck, right? And I, it became very clear over time. I can't keep operating this way. I cannot keep doing the things I'm doing, you know, because I am not being authentic to myself. I don't believe in the things that I'm doing. I don't, I don't want to be doing the things that I'm doing, but I'm still doing them for some reason, right? And so, you know, I think that there's that internal frustration that you have, and that is a huge indicator that you're not being your authentic self.


Lesley Logan 27:21  

Yeah, I think I look back at my job I had in retail, which I do love and I'm really grateful for. But I kept taking promotions, expecting like the next thing to be better, the next thing to be better, and then I'm like, I gotta move cities, and that's gonna make it better. And then it's—you keep saying, "And then once this happens, then it'll be better." And it's actually no, if that keeps happening, there's something missing, and so you're not fully being authentic. And you got to take some time to think about that means and go get to know yourself. You know, go watch Runaway Bride and see how long it took her to figure out what she liked. You know, it takes time.


Brad Crowell 27:52  

Yeah, I mean, you know, I think the idea of getting to know yourself will help you create clarity when you have that tension. It's really hard, you know, to step aside and reevaluate things. It often comes with major life change, you know. For him, he was talking about how getting divorced was a reality check, and it made him do a lot of self-inflection.


Lesley Logan 28:20  

Self-inflection, reflection?


Brad Crowell 28:22  

Inflection.


Lesley Logan 28:24  

Self-inflection.


Brad Crowell 28:25  

Yeah, right? 


Lesley Logan 28:26  

I don't think that's right. I don't want to correct you, but I don't think that's right. Self-inflection?


Brad Crowell 28:32  

Maybe it's self-reflection.


Lesley Logan 28:33  

It's reflection. 


Brad Crowell 28:34  

What is inflection? What does that even mean?


Lesley Logan 28:36  

Well, this is when I'm in—I'm inflecting my voice. Like, I'm doing inflection. I'm inflecting this way. I am doing it like this. Like, inflection is like what you do with sounds.


Brad Crowell 28:47  

Well, we're gonna inflect in just a minute. So stick around. We'll be right back when we we inflect on those Be It Action Items.


Lesley Logan 28:53  

Oh my god, you guys! It's a Friday night.


Brad Crowell 28:55  

It's definitely Thursday.


Lesley Logan 29:00  

Leave it in. Just leave it in. 


Brad Crowell 29:03  

We'll be right back. 


Brad Crowell 29:07  

All right, welcome back. Let's talk about those be it action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Polish Peter? He identifies as a recovering people pleaser. He said that if you say yes to everything and everyone except the things that are most important to you, what ends up happening most of the time is the people who are closest to you get hurt the most. I'm going to say that again. If you say yes to everyone else, everyone except for the things that are important to you, the people that are closest to you get hurt the most. That was really interesting to think about. He also pointed out the people who are always told to write business plans, but nobody ever tells you to write a vision for your own personal life. I thought that was also really intriguing. So, but the thing, but let me get back to the thing about the people get hurt the most are the people closest to you. Think about this. This is—this is actually one of the things we talk about with OPC. You gotta put yourself first so that you can be the better you for your family, friends, coworkers, job, whatever it might be. For yourself, you have to put yourself first.


Lesley Logan 30:20  

I agree. Also, I was just watching a shitty reality TV show, and these people were with terrible people, and they're, you can watch the people-pleasers trying to make it work, and some of it was manipulation and coercion, but they're trying to people-please their way out of the situation, and


Brad Crowell 30:35  

It was some inflection.


Lesley Logan 30:36  

Yeah. And other person feel really good, but guess who got hurt? Their friends, their family, the people they cared about, because those people could see this partner is not good for them, and they could see what this person was doing, jumping through hoops to make this partner good for them. And it's, they ended up losing friends and losing connection with family members. And so you ought to be mindful. Yeah, I agree. Your OPC example was perfect. 


Brad Crowell 31:00  

Yeah. Moving on to the business plan for your life, like writing a vision for your life. He said to stop being a people pleaser. He wrote out his own vision for his own life, and he blocked out personal priorities in his calendar to ensure those spots were not taken up by others or other commitments when he was usually saying yes. And he said the payoff was when people would ask for his time. He would say, "Hey, let me get back to you on that," and then he would go sit down and he would think, "Does this align with my vision? Is this going to help me with my vision, or is it going to take me further away from my vision?" Right?


Lesley Logan 31:36  

I have a filter.


Brad Crowell 31:37  

But also that sounds super selfish. Does this align with my vision? Is it going to help me with my vision, or is it going to take me further away?


Lesley Logan 31:45  

I think this selfish needs a rebrand.


Brad Crowell 31:48  

Right. So self-care isn't selfish. We talked about that a whole lot back in the day, but the idea here is, yeah, it might sound selfish, but because he had not put himself first in the past, his entire life fell apart. So on round two, he was major change needs to happen. I'm going to run all of these things through this filter of how aligned is this thing with what I need for me. In addition to, I'm sure there's ways in there he can do both, but there are certainly things in there that will not serve him at all. And he's, "Hold on a minute. I don't know if I can do this anymore." So good for him. That's a really powerful thing to learn. And now he's helping people with it.


Lesley Logan 32:33  

Yeah. I also definitely understand feeling bad when I say no to things that don't align with what I want to do. It's not about—I don't feel bad, right? While this is going on, we were asked to be somewhere for an event, and we're available, but it's the only month to be fucking home, the rest of the year, it's it, and so I said we can't make it because it's the only month not on plane, and I'm really excited for you, and so of course I feel some FOMO. I feel, "Oh my God, are we letting people down?" And also, I can't do it. I will not be present enough for October events, November events, December events. I can't do it. So it's actually not selfish because going back to the people pleasing thing, if I had said yes, then the people coming to our events the rest of the year are going to get an exhausted version of me, so I had to say no, and it's not selfish; it's self-preservation.


Brad Crowell 33:29  

Right.


Lesley Logan 33:30  

Yeah. Anyways, I like that he said literally every day be with yourself. I do this all the time, so I couldn't agree more. I actually get really annoyed when I can't be with myself for four plus hours. I think it's really important. Find ways to be with yourself. Some people want to be with themselves in movement. Some people want to be themselves meditation, whatever. But you got to be with yourself without the podcast in the ear. I know this podcast, but so as much as I want you to keep listening, find 15 other minutes to be with yourself. But be with yourself. He suggested being in front of a camera or a mirror and just be with yourself and just be quiet. I think that's cool, especially if you don't do things with the camera. I'm in front of a camera all fucking day. I don't want to see my face anymore, so most of my time with myself is not seeing my face. I really appreciate that, but then it's really hilarious because I'll be with myself for four hours, and I'll put a camera. I'm like, "Wow, I walk the dogs like this." But anyways, I couldn't agree more because I think it's really important that you you just take time to be with you without any extra input. So I love that. I'm Lesley Logan


Brad Crowell 34:35  

And I'm Brad Crowell.


Lesley Logan 34:36  

We're so happy you're here. Thanks for being here. This is episode 734. That's insane! Insane! Insane to me. But thanks for listening, and thanks for sharing this with friends. It's so fun to hear new listeners who are downloading the podcast and their takeaways, and share Polish Peter's episode with a friend who needs to hear it. Join OPC or get our flashcards if you want to support this podcast in other ways. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.


Brad Crowell 34:58  

Bye for now.


Lesley Logan 34:59  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


Brad Crowell 35:41  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


Lesley Logan 35:46  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


Brad Crowell 35:51  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


Lesley Logan 35:58  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


Brad Crowell 36:01  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



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